Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Xbox VS Girlfriend

I dedicate this post to MJ, as a (very ****ing) late birthday post and to Hamish as an early birthday post.

Thanks to Delon, Kiro and Hamza for their input and suggestions.

Till next time in Waseem world

Saturday, 8 December 2007

You are what you search for

You know that saying 'You are what you eat' (which means Im lots of pasta and fast food), well I also think 'You are what you search for'. If you delve in someone's search history, you can sometimes see what goes on in the deep recess of their minds. Well not mine, cos I dont save my search history, but if I did, maybe you could. I remember once at work I went to fix someone's internet connection, and he told me to help him clear his search history. His keywords were 'vagina', 'adult movies' and 'naked vagina'. He was clearly enjoying his work day.

Sitemeter, the hits counter I use, has this referrals option, that shows you where(which blog etc.) your visitors come from, which also means what they typed in Google to find your page. So I have been checking mine and couple of my friends (who have Sitemeter) and found some funny searchs.

Joe's - 'I need to pee'- I dont know why they typed this in Google, instead of actually going to the toilet, unless its like a medical problem. Good slogan for Joes blog - So funny, it solves bladder problems.

MJ's - 'Big nipples' - This could have been the same guy I used to work with. Im sure he was pretty disappointed at what he found. Not saying anything about MJs blog but I doubt he will find it comparable to 'Big nipples'.

Almost-News - 'robbie pop star sexual orientation'- Doesn't everyone know by now? I think I know someone who might have searched this.

And finally mine - 'y is wassem a gay wanker' - Obviously a different Waseem. Obviously someone is bitter about something this 'wassem' has done.

There is moral to this story if you look for it.

Till next time in Waseem world

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

I am ... Justice

I wouldn't call myself an anime freak, but I have been known to like the occasional anime. It started with DBZ (to my memory) and continued on to Berserk, some Naruto, couple episodes of Bleach and currently I'm on a new series(to me) called Death Note. Alot of people dont like anime for its formulaic and delay-filled story lines (e.g. Goku taking a week to power up/die/have lunch), I would agree with that and I accept that DBZ was nothing more than a soapie which focused on violence rather than lust and betrayal. Thats the reason I was pretty surprised at the creation of the Animax channel, I didn't know anime had such a large following in S.A. I'm not really surprised at its poor content though. One of them, Paranoia Agent, is about this girl who got hit by a kid with a bat. You can imagine the drama.

Berserk has been by far the best anime I have seen, and it is no kiddies show. 16SNVL at the least, but I loved the story and the amazing character depth. No other anime series I have watched has come close but I am holding out hope for Death Note.

Death Note has an interesting premise, I have only watched 3 episodes (so no spoilers please) and I am already hooked. A school kid finds this book (Death Note) and he discovers that if he writes down a persons name in the book, they will die(There is more to it, just trying not to give stuff away), so he starts killing off serious criminals (by writing their names in), becoming a 'Death God'. The World Police (Interpol), who frown on the mass killing of people, are trying to bring him to justice, while he(Death God guy) feels he is justice.

I have been wondering what would I do with such a power, would i succumb to the temptation? If I did, would I be able to stick to the straight and narrow of only 'criminals'? I (thankfully) have not been affected so seriously by crime, so I think my answer is no (to the succumbing to temptation). But lets take this a step further, what if you could have killed Hitler or the Crusaders* etc. before they could cause any harm? That would be very tempting, but then again everything happens for a reason.

Till next time in Waseems world

* - I just checked Wikipedia to see who called for the Crusades, the entry was very biased against Muslims, so I stopped reading because I did not trust the source.

Monday, 12 November 2007

All Hallowth Eve

I wanted to do a Diwali post, but after I read Hamza's article on Almost News, everything else Diwali-related paled in comparison, so instead I have decided on another topic, Halloween.

I think it is quite sad that we are not able to enjoy this event as much as our American counterparts. Ok, before you start boycotting my blog for pro-American propaganda, I don't really like America, I just like the concept of Halloween. The dressing up in scary costumes, collecting candy, evenings filled with horror movies, what's not to like?

My favorite site,, recently had a costume competition, and from a few of the costumes I have seen, these guys are really dedicated to the whole costume thing. If you boycott Coke and stuff, you won't want to visit the site, it is very American. Anyway here are the top 3 costumes at collegehumor:

This finished third, and if you haven't guessed by now, it's the 300 army. I don't think there are 300 people there, but give them a break man, that guy has alot of guts to be posing in a diaper.

Holy mother of awesome! This costume is so great, you have to wonder if this came second, what could beat it. This is from the greatest game of the year, Bioshock, and its accuracy is absolutely dead on.

This is the winner, not better than the Bioshock one, but the competition was open to public voting, which makes it a popularity contest. This is Bender from Futurama, attention to detail is awesome again. Apparently the door at his front opens and you can put beers(or your choice non-alcoholic beverage, maybe Creras) in it.

If I had to go to costume party and dress up, I would go as an Igor, complete with hunchback, dead leg and lithp. Or I would take Collegehumors idea of a last minute costume, take a mouse(the electronic kind) and hold it on my face, and go as a mousepad.

Till next time in Waseem world

Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Hot/Crazy Scale

If you haven't watched How I Met Your Mother(HIMYM) as yet, I truly grieve for you and your non-How I Met Your Mother-watching soul. Seriously, you are missing out. I would watch HIMYM over that drama with superpowered people (this is also good show though), and Dawsons Creek with a DC twist(this one makes me sleepy just thinking about it) any day. It is true that my sister introduced me to this show, but since then I haven't looked back, I might have had a fleeting fancy for The Class, but HIMYM is etched into the records as one of my favorite shows of all time.

If you don't know by now (more grieving), HIMYM is about this guy Ted telling his kids the story of how he met their mother. It is mostly a relationship type comedy similar to Friends though, but so much better. Robin is hotter than Rachel, Monica and Phoebe rolled into one and Barney is funnier than Ross, Chandler and Joey altogether, easily.

So in the most recent episode of HIMYM, I have watched, Barney produced the Hot/Crazy scale, which can be used to balance the ratio between hotness and craziness. I googled this phenomenon and found Barney has a blog, where he has put a quiz up to measure hot to crazy. How it works is you rate your hotness from 1-10 (be honest), and then take the quiz to see where you fall on the scale.

1. You’re walking down the street and see Matt Damon. You:
a: Gawk from afar and let him pass unbothered.
b: Run up to him and beg to have his babies.
c: Stab him with a pen.

2. You’re driving on the freeway and someone cuts you off. You:
a: Take a deep breath, count to ten, and do a random act of kindness.
b: Hold down your horn and scream obscenities.
c: Stab him with his own broken windshield wiper.

3. You see a kitten stuck in a tree. You:
a: Call the fire department and wait for professional help.
b: Climb up and rescue it, then take it home to join the 125 other cats you currently care for.
c: Stab it with a tree branch.

4. You’re on a date with a fellow and it’s not going well. You:
a: Explain to him you’re just not compatible and offer to split the check.
b: Start a small fire in the ladies’ bathroom thus evacuating the restaurant and ending your date.
c: Finish your decadent five-course dinner, then stab him with a lobster claw.

5. Your boss makes a pass at you. You:
a: Report it to human resources.
b: Go for it, then blackmail him for the rest of his natural life.
c: Stab him with his tie.

6. The barista screws up your double skim, half café, no sugar added caramel macchiato. You:
a: Drink whatever she gives you, so as to not create a scene.
b: Throw the scalding hot beverage into the barista’s face.
c: Stab her with a coffee cup.

7. It’s Christmas, a time of giving, charity, and joy. One of the Salvation Army Santa’s won’t stop ringing the bell in front of your apartment. You:
a: Thank him for doing the Lord’s work and give generously.
b: Tar and feather him from your fifth floor balcony.
c: Stab him with his bell, then steal his bucket.

8. Your grandparents are in town visiting. You:
a: Happily show them around town taking extra special care of them.
b: Berate them for the measly 12 bucks they gave you on last year’s birthday.
c: Stab them with their dentures.

9. You find a wallet in the middle of the street. You:
a: Locate the wallet’s owner and return it as found.
b: Steal the person’s identity and live as them.
c: Locate the wallet’s owner and stab them with their license.

10. Your boyfriend proposes. You:
a: Tearfully admit that you’re already married but not opposed to polygamy.
b: You say, “Honestly, we’ve had a lot of great times together but I just don’t see a future between us” thus breaking his heart… then you pick up the pieces of said broken heart, and stab him with it.
c: Say, “Yes, yes, a million times yes!”

To find your “Crazy” rating, give yourself 0 points for every A response, 1 point for every B, and 2 points for every C. Take that total and divide by two. You now have your crazy number.

Now, using your self-assigned hot number, find your position on the Stinson Hot/ Crazy scale. Remember, you want to find yourself located on the hot side, not the crazy side. If the results are not to your liking, please adjust your appearance or personality accordingly.

N.B. All of the text highlighted in red was obtained from Barney's blog

I think everyone is a little crazy(some alot crazy) but as someone(Hamish or MJ) once said, crazy should be kept for the bedroom.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Thursday, 18 October 2007

Smarter than the average 5th grader

When I was in Grade 5, (or Standard 3 as it was known back in the day) I ran into pole, developed a crush for this girl named Fathima, played hide and seek, read books, watched an insane amount of TV and basically behaved like any normal pre-adolescent kid would. I was by no measure of imagination, a great mind or a pioneer in thinking. So this makes the premise of Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader somewhat puzzling. I mean perhaps it worked in America because Americans are stupid, but there again by association their kids must be stupid also. Unless they take the smartest 5th graders and pit them against the stupidest of adults, but that is not really achieving much.

Im Smarter than her

I was thinking about possible prizes they could have on the show. Something that is specific to this show, over and above the usual, money, car and ipods. This is what I think the prizes should look like.

Grand Prize
A 5th grade class has to do your job for a year, complete with punishments for below par performance.
Possible Punishment: No lunch break

Consolation Prize
A 5th grade classes allowance for the month, that will teach them for trying to play with the big people.

If the 5th graders win, you can buy them all ice cream or something, they are small, they can be easily pleased.

In other news, I have started a satire/sarcastic news blog with Hamza and MJ. We have few articles up at the moment , but the look is a bit bland. I'm still waiting for Hamza to do some layout design, that lazy madar. He thinks root canal is a valid excuse.

Till next time in Waseem world

Monday, 15 October 2007

Kurtah Krazy Klips

For some people, Eid may be an excuse to buy a new Pringle shirt and an Allstars. Not for me. I used Eid as an excuse to buy a kurtah.

It was my second choice, a black hoody type. My first choice was tad too tight, proving that fasting has done nothing for my physique (It was only narrow in the shoulders, now that I think about it). Well you can't always get what you want in life, and my life motto is 'Something is better than nothing'.

My kurtah wearing experience sparked my imagination into a possible invention to help kurtah users everywhere. Perhaps it has been thought of before but I put forward to you

'Kurtah Clips'

  • clip it on your hoody so it doesnt fall over your head when you go into Rukhu or Sajda
  • clip up your sides, so the people behind you don't put their heads in your kurtah, when they wake up after you from Sajda/Rukhu
  • possibly, be stylish and trendy
  • you could use them on abayas too, I guess
  • there are no other uses
I have been also thinking of inventions to keep fresh breath while fasting (keeping to Shariah of course), I haven't thought of anything as yet. As well as an invention to put the 'weeh' back in Taraweeh, but thats a tough one.

Till next time in Waseem world

Saturday, 6 October 2007

What they should be called

I imagine it must be difficult to name your inventions, it must be similar to thinking of subjects for posts and names for your kids. I assume inventors consider the functionality of their creation before giving it a name e.g. Toaster (Something you can't really do for your kids or you would have alot of people going by the name Cryer or Boob-sucker). I also think, on the premise that name is based on functionality, that some of todays inventions would have to be renamed. So here are a few inventions, I think, that based on current day functionality, should be renamed.

TV - Replacement Parent
Well you can guess why, TV seems to be raising more kids than parents because parents are too busy working. Another nominee for replacement parent is the live-in domestic worker.

Cellphone - Mxit Machine AKA F**K YOU MXIT
Ok if you're from SA, you can't honestly say you use your cellphone for anything more than you use it for Mxit. As much as I convince myself Mxit hates me, I still log on, its an addiction.

Internet - Pseudo-life
A wonder of the Internet is that it grants the tremendously unpopular to appear popular and/or cool. That is if you care about such things, and don't mind being fake to people, which most people don't seem to have a problem with.

That is as many as my fasting brain can come up with, if you can think of more, feel free to share.

Till next time in Waseem world

Monday, 24 September 2007

You know how I know you're gay

Few weeks ago, a couple years too late, I finally got to watch The 40 year old virgin. It carried a fair bit of hype for me, partly due to its immense popularity but also due to its now famous cast. It is a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously, a bit crass at times but you should know that getting into it.

The stand out scene for me was the conversation over games between Cal and David of why they know the other guy is gay.

Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How? Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like Coldplay.

So Hamza and I have been going at each other for past few weeks. Here is an excerpt:

me: have some jelly bears and calm down
the bears taste better than the babies
Hamza:how is that possible
the taste that is
me:the bears are sweeter than the babies
Hamza: lol
you know how I know you gay
cos you think bears are sweeter
are you waiting for me to go home :)
me: no why
Hamza: you entered but it never come
me: you know how i know youre gay
Hamza: lol because I just said that line
me: that guy was telling me something
Hamza: ya ya
me: ya and you used smiley the other place
Hamza: thats not gay
the entered line is gay out of context
but smilies are not gay
me: what about the one with hearts in the eyes
what about this <3
Hamza: what eye hearts thing
me: the in love mood on mxit
Hamza: oh
I dont use that
me: ya ya
Hamza: but ill give you a gay star for trying
lol gaystar
me: you know how i know youre gay
Hamza: sounds like heman
me: you have gay stars to give

That log tells alot about the nonsensical and weird conversations Hamza and I have.

Heres a few I thought of for my friends, I hope they don't take offense and know it is only in jest.

You know how I know Hamza is gay:
-He doesn't like any sport
- He has more male Facebook friends than female (He is working on that now though)

You know how I know MJ is gay:
-He uses conditioner in his hair
-He has Snow Patrol and Nelly Furtado on his blog
-He rather play with Link than with Lara Croft

You know how I know OH is gay:
- He said people call him anal
- He has that potato heart on one of his posts
- His obsession with rugby

You know how I know AK is gay:
- His obsession with anime

You know how I know Shiraz is gay:
-His reaction when he saw Shah Rukhs six pack

You know how I know Joe is gay:
- her name is boyish

You know how I know Dew is gay:
- her comment on Mazozos post

You know how I know Queen_Lestat is gay:
- She swears way too much for a girl

Q, you are too girlish to be gay.

And because to laugh at others you have to laugh at yourself.

You know how I know Waseem is gay:
-He listens to Air Supply and Foreigner (According to Joe and Queen, they are classic songs in my defense)
-He plays and likes Viva Pinata (According to Hamza, Yuraaz and Shiraz)
-He uses a seatbelt while driving (According to Yuraaz)

Ok I have a idea for the every commenter to include in their comment why they think the previous commenter is gay. For the first commenter, the previous commenter was me. Nothing too offensive please.

Till next time in Waseem world

Monday, 17 September 2007

Praise the Lord

If you are a regular reader of my awesome chatbox, then you would know that Hamza recently won the Islamic Lottery (I was excited for Warmbaths reasons). I must admit some jealousy due to the fact I have never really won anything. Little did I know I would soon win the Christian lottery.


From: sabine williams <> (Ed: Commented out the email so no-one can steal my winnings)
Date: Sep 13, 2007 10:00 AM
Subject: PILIPPIANS - 4 v13 - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

PILIPPIANS - 4 v13 - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
Dear Beloveth,
From Mrs Sabine Williams
I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Mr. Lobi Williams who worked with Ivory Coast embassy in Kuwait for nine years before we left to Abidjan where he was re-appointed as a navy officer before his untimely death in the year 2005.

We were married for eleven years without a child. He died in his home country Ivory Coast after a brief illness that lasted for only four days Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $7.3Musd (Seven Million Three Hundred Thousand U.S. Dollars) in cash concealed in a trunk box and deposits it with a security company here in Abidjan which he declare and register it as family valuables.
Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is the high blood preasure sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church or individual that will use this fund for orphanages, widows,propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that "Blessed is the hand that giveth" I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision to contact you.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace". I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives were around me always. I don't want them to know about this development.

With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply, with your full address and telephone contacts, I shall give you the contact of the security company here in Abidjan which he deposits trunk box. I will also issue you an authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of this trunk box(fund). I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in Spirit and Truth.

Hoping to receive your reply.presently,I am still in my late husbands home country Abidjan capital city of ivory coast.

Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs Sabine Williams

This is my reply

Dearest Sabine,

It is with tremendous happiness tinged with great sadness that I receive your mail. First let me explain the cause for sadness which is the death of your husband, who I will admit to not knowing (hence it only being a tinge of sadness) . He sounds like he was a wonderful guy though. I find that humor is the best medicine in times like these so let me share a joke.

How many Born-again Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Whoever heard of a born-again Christian who couldn't see the light?

OK it is a lame joke, I don't really even get it but as my friends can tell you I am not really good at the whole consoling thing.

My reason for happiness is that I have never won anything, and certainly not 7.3 Million US$. I know I have to "serve the Lord must serve him in Spirit and Truth" but still thats a lot of money, I could use about 3 million on the Lord and have the rest to spend, I am sure the Lord understands.

Another thing I have to admit before you give me all this money is that I am not Christian so I won't be able to fulfill your desires as you may have imagined. It sounds like you are pretty desperate, be it that you have
a "serious sickness which is cancer problem" and all that, so I will tell you what I will do. Since I also follow an Abrahamic religion, Islam, I will use the money in that way, so basically its for the same God, your aforementioned Lord.

Here is my plan for the money: I will build mosques and madressas all across Africa, sort of like a franchise thing. I was also thinking of including a fast food section in the mosques, cos God knows we Muslims love our take-out. I was thinking of a catchy name that rolls of the tongue, I'm going with Bassa's at the moment. Your input into this will be much appreciated.

Sorry for the late reply, but sometimes my internet at home doesn't work, I blame Telkom. Hope you will consider my offer and you will send me all that lovely money soon. I will send you my details once I receive your reply.

Take care

P.S. You make me blush when you call me Beloveth

Till next time in Waseem world

Friday, 14 September 2007

Weird mind of Waseem 1

Have you ever wondered why Tamil men keep a mustache? Is it to counter Muslim guys who keep beards? I mean not all Tamil men keep them, but most of the older ones do. It is like a tradition thing. I'm serious go check on this if you don't believe me. And when they convert to Christianity, they keep their mustache as a remembrance. This hasn't seemed to have affected the younger generation though, but I don't know many religious Tamil guys. I have about 10 Tamil friends, and only 1 guy actually keeps his fast without complaining, he will probably have a mustache next time I see him.

Also I always thought mustache had an o in it, you live and you learn.

Till next time in Waseem world

Monday, 10 September 2007

Turkey is a dish best served cold

Hi, my name is Waseem and I was a smoker. I had my last cigarette 2 weeks ago. I don't get why the guys in those AA meetings, say 'I am an alcoholic' as opposed to 'I was an alcoholic' but anyway they say acceptance is the first step.

It may surprise most of you guys that I was/am a smoker but I won't get into the reasoning behind me smoking. You cannot explain the allure of smoking to a non-smoker or even the difficulty in giving up. I was not a heavy smoker though, I averaged around 4 a day, compared to guys I know who go through a pack a day, that is pretty decent.

Well two weeks ago, on a Saturday, I ran out of cigarettes. I normally never run out, I always have a new pack when the other is almost done, I took it as a sign. I have wanted to give up for a while now for a multitude of reasons so I think I just needed the push. The first Monday was the worst day so far, had some serious cravings, not like seeing people as big cigarettes or anything, but I did snap at my managing director for something (she does get annoying at times, in my defence). The last week wasn't too bad though, spent most of it sick with flu, which my friend Akbar says is part of the detox.

So I'm not good with these conclusion wrap up things. If you're thinking about what to get me for Eid, get me a post concluder, it will come in handy.

Till next time in Waseem world

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

El Ekse I'm on TV

I don't watch much TV these days and there are many reasons for that, XBOX being a major one. Another major reason I don't watch TV though is due to the stupidity on the screen that is reality TV. The worst TV show I have ever had the misfortune to watch was My Super Sweet 16, followed closely by The Simple Life (or whatever that Paris Hilton one was called). My Super Sweet 16 is basically about this ridiculously rich brat throwing tantrums to have the best party in their town, but you feel like your soul has been sucked out watching it. Recently there seems to be many reality shows going on at once, Survivor Malaysia, Survivor Somewhere Else, Idols, Girls from Playboy Mansion and ... oh Amazing Race just ended. Also they show Cheaters all the time on the Reality channel for Hamza, he seems to like that program.

So due to my tea drinking and supper eating times conflicting with reality TV show times, I have been subjected to a few. I quite like Amazing Race in fact, because I suppose like most people I would love to travel around the world. A favorite pastime of ours these days is to watch the Idols auditions on the Idols channel and marvel at the complete ineptitude of the contestants.

A few moments highlighting stupidity I have seen on reality shows:

The first is from the Survivor South Africa: Malaysia where they have an Indian guy from Phoenix taking part. He is massive, one of those guys with more muscle than brain. So they have interviews with each of the contestants discussing why they entered and how they plan on winning etc. When they interview this guy, Nischal I think it was, they had subtitles for him translating stuff like 'El Ekse Im on TV, Uuuuunnniiiteedd' to 'I am so proud to be on Survivor'. He didn't go very far, he ended up on Exile island from the start and I decided to stop watching.

The second is from The Amazing Race (the last season I think), one of the only reality shows I like, but you still get those irritating teams. This conversation took place when these 2 teams met each other at the airport.
Ray: Hi, my name is Ray ... like the sun.
Lake: Hi Ray, my name is Lake ... like the ocean.

Finally the third comes from Survivor : The American one. Billy, I think it was, is on the verge of being voted out at tribal council so he says he didn't come to the show for the million dollars, he came to find love. He met this girl in the past immunity challenge and they mouthed the words 'I love you' to each other, love at first sight and all that. I would like to see the reunion show just for this awkward moment.

Till next time in Waseem world

Wednesday, 22 August 2007

A truth or lie has to be spoken

You are in a hallway with two doors. One leads to hell, one leads to heaven. There is a guard standing by each door. One of the guards always tells the truth and the other one always lies. You have only one question to ask, what will it be? (assuming you want to go to heaven)

There is an answer to this riddle available on net, but Hamza and I found it to be debatable. So let us see what the great blogging minds can come up with.

(Bonus points if you can guess where the post title is from)

Till next time in Waseem world

Friday, 17 August 2007

What if Gandhi was one of us

Continuing in the trend of lame Gandhi jokes started on MJs blog, I adapted the lyrics of this Joan Osbourne song called What if God was one of us to be Gandhi-centric when I really should be doing work instead.

If Gandhi had a cell, would it be a Nokia
And would you add him to Mxit
If he gave you his number
What would you ask if you had just one question

And yeah yeah Gandhi is great yeah yeah Gandhi is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if Gandhi was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the train
Trying to make his way home

If Gandhi had facebook what would his profile pic look like
And would you want to see his friends
If seeing meant that you would have to be his friend
And friends with Jesus and the saints and all the prophets

And yeah yeah Gandhi is great yeah yeah Gandhi is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if Gandhi was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the train
Trying to make his way home
He's trying to make his way home
Back up to India all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for Jinnah maybe in Pakistan

Original Joan Osbourne song lyrics

Till next time in Waseem world

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

Three Libras

When I read books, I am often carried away to the story itself, sometimes even as if I am living the story through the main character. So too when I listen to music, I imagine the music video in my head, once I know the lyrics well enough. I don't watch many music videos (on MTV), due to the lack of rock videos and I have a very low threshold for ass shaking in my face. So generally the only music video I know is the one I make up. Sometimes I get to see the actual video and it is like, you know when after you read a book and you watch a movie based on the book, and you think WTF Hermione is not so pretty, or what bus knocked Ginny. So I have no real experience on actual videos but in a sense I have been making them for years. The videos need repeated listening to attain clarity, this is one I've thought up recently for the song Three Libras by A Perfect Circle, Maynard Keenan's side project. First the lyrics, then my understanding of the song and finally my video concept.

Threw you the obvious and you flew
with it on your back, a name in your recollection,
thrown down among a million same.
Difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed
and passed over
when I’ve looked right through
to see you naked and oblivious
and you don't see me, but i threw you the obvious
just to see if there's more behind the eyes
of a fallen angel,
the eyes of a tragedy.
Here i am expecting just a little bit
too much from the wounded.
But i see through it all
and see you.
So i threw you the obvious
to see what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy.
Oh well. Apparently nothing.
You don't see me.
You don't see me at all.

A Perfect Circle - Three Libras

As far as I can make out the song it is about unrequited love but beyond that the person you 'love' not even knowing that you exist. Now me personally I think the word love is bandied about way too much. Like you can't love someone if you can think about cheating on them, you are just passing time but thats a topic for another day. So this guy feels like he doesn't exist to her despite his best efforts, thats basically the gist of the song in my opinion.

My video idea is a lot like the movie Ghost, (the one where Patrick Swayze dies and turns into a ghost) without Whoopi Goldberg and the relatively happy ending. The video would be about this guy who is invisible but only to this girl, so cut to a scene of him talking to some people then he spots the girl and tries to get her attention but she just walks through him, probably during the 'You don't see me at all' part. Another scene would be, perhaps during the 'eyes of a fallen angel' part, of her sitting and crying and he standing behind her stroking her hair, but she is oblivious to it. The 'naked and oblivious' part would be her standing in front of a mirror naked, with his arms wrapped around her, his reflection not showing in the mirror. Ok thats about all I have.

Till next time in Waseem world

Thursday, 2 August 2007

Mmm ... new post

The Simpsons has always been my favorite TV series, and when a season is actually showing, one of the few programs I actually watch. I used to wait from week to week for Thursdays 18:30 for that trademark opening tune, and couldn't wait for those witty words Bart used to write on the board or which unique way they would sit on the couch this week. I used to curse the commercial breaks and the half-an-hour only shows. I wouldn't say I'm their biggest fan, I don't go around dressed in blue shorts and an orange t-shirt, or spurt out weird Simpson trivia at inopportune moments, but I have always tried to catch every episode that I could. I think most of the common day animated series (Family Guy, South Park etc.) have been inspired by The Simpsons and had their pathways to success paved already.

Funnily enough though I was bit apprehensive over watching the movie. The Family Guy movie was basically 2 episodes held together by a thread, which I assume was supposed to be a plot device. The South Park movie was little more than an excuse to swear a bunch of people (I actually like South Park despite it's crassness). So I went into the movie with very low expectations. I think thats the key to enjoying a movie, the more expectations you place on it, the more likely it will disappoint, so go into movies with an open mind. I think the creators knew what they were getting into when they made the movie, probably the reason it took them so long to make. It wasn't like a long episode or an excuse for a movie, it actually had a good plot and was quite entertaining.

The thing I enjoy most about Simpsons is that its a very intelligent look at dumb people, its littered with funny quotes, classics like Homer's 'Doh' and Nelson's 'Ha Ha'. Here are some of my favorite Simpson quotes I compiled with the help of WikiQuote.

Ralph: Me fail English? That’s unpossible.(One of my favorite characters always good for a laugh)
Ralph: Hi, Principal Skinner. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers.
Ralph: Why can't you be friends like me and Mr. Finger. (Pokes himself in the eye) Ow! You've betrayed me for the last time. (Gets a pair of scissors.)

Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2.
Chief Wiggum: They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.

Comic Book Guy:There is no emoticon for what I am feeling!

Mr. Burns: I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.

Homer: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?
Homer: Save me, Jeebus.
Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.

Billy Corgan: “Billy Corgan, ‘Smashing Pumpkins’.”
Homer Simpson: “Homer Simpson, smiling politely.”

MARGE: Have you noticed something different about Bart?
HOMER: New glasses?
MARGE: No. He looks like something may be troubling him.
HOMER: Probably misses his old glasses.
MARGE: I’d think that we should get more involved in his activities, but then I’d be afraid of smothering him.
HOMER: Yeah, and then they’d give us the chair.
MARGE: That’s not what I meant.
HOMER: It was Marge, admit it.

Ok there are tons more, its hard to choose, so thats all I have for now.

Till next time in Waseem world

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

Harry Potter and the Esale-e-Sawaab

I'm sorry to disappoint you but this isn't an Islamic spoof of Harry Potter, I don't have any ideas for that as yet, maybe at a later date when everyone is finished with Deathly Hallows (or at least given a fair chance to those slow, slide their finger along the line to read, guys). My post is two-fold, firstly on khathams (I use this as a blanket term, on all Muslim gatherings, meelads, esale-e-sawaabs ... etc) and secondly Harry Potter, which I will attempt without spoilers.

I'm not a big fan of khathams (Muslim gatherings), mainly because I think the money could be put to better use, than feeding already well fed people. I know I'm being cynical, khathams are meant to be about more like passing on blessings to those who have passed away and possibly spiritual enlightenment but realistically more time is spent in feeding than anything else. People will go to tend to fires and sweetmeats, setting chairs and tables rather than sitting for their own khathams. Another thing that annoys me about khathams are people that come there to say Naaths(Kind of Islamic poems) and disappear down to eat when its Namaaz(Prayer) time. Namaaz is a tenet of our faith, khathams and Naaths aren't.

Things that annoyed me at our khatham:
My aunty (the paan aunty) calling me while reading Yaseen(Part of the Quran) to meet this lady I'm supposed to know, who kissed me on my cheek despite the fact she seemed to have been a bit too affectionate with the fish curry.
People with no authority to tell me what to do, telling me what to do.
People who conveniently have containers in their car to take away food and sweetmeats.
People who pretend to know me to get preferential treatment while serving.
Small kids who think its really fun to hit you as hard as possible and run away, but after a dousing of rose water (or two), he seemed to leave me alone.

So throughout the weekend I was trying to sneak in pages of Harry Potter, but I managed to get in some good solid reading in on Saturday night and all through Sunday. Its been a while since I have wanted to finish a book as much as I wanted to finish Deathly Hallows. When I finished it at first I was quite pleased and I thought it was a very good book because it tied up a lot of loose ends, maybe a distant second to Goblet of Fire, then the more I thought about the book, cynicism set in, and the less I liked the book. I discussed it with MJ and tore the book to shreds, I think I lambasted it a bit too much but I agree with QL that it was very poorly written compared to J.K.'s usual standard. I will go into more detail about my issues with the book in a later post and perhaps how I would have preferred the series to end.

This is my order of the books based on personal preference:
Goblet of Fire - far and away the best book in the series
Order of Phoenix - Dark but I like dark
Prisoner of Azkaban - Great twists and turns
Chamber of Secrets - Good mystery
Half Blood Prince - Not a lot really happened in this book
Philosophers Stone - Little more than a kiddies book, but enjoyable light reading
Deathly Hallows - For the reasons mentioned above

Till next time in Waseem world

Wednesday, 11 July 2007

Fake this reality

Well is it? Should we find solace in the fact that everyone shares our fears and insecurities? Is happiness really a facade?

Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yeah, I still pretend
Nine Inch Nails - Every Day Is Exactly the Same

Till next time in Waseem world

Wednesday, 4 July 2007

A rose-red city half as old as time

Ruby's blog has a post to vote on the new 7 wonders of the world, a noble cause to obtain the 7 symbols of global unity. I just wanted to post on my favorite of the nominated wonders, the place which I most want to visit, (next to Makkah al-Mukarramah and Madīnat al Munawwarah) the red city, the architectural marvel that is Petra. The city carved into the rock, long hidden from the prying eyes of the western world.

Pictured above is the end of the dark and narrow gorge called the Siq, which is the entrance to this wondrous city.

At the end of the narrow gorge stands Petra's most elaborate ruin, the treasury (Al Khazneh), the intricacy and detail that went into the craftsmanship truly amazes me.

Unfortunately the Kaaba isn't nominated as one of the new 7 wonders of the world which I think is quite disappointing, given its historical heritage and ability to bring everyone, be it king or beggar, to the same level. Definitely much more of a wonder than the Statue of Liberty or Eiffel tower, and this coming from someone who hasn't even seen it in reality, well I haven't seen either of these in reality but from the media I have seen them in I know which one is better.

A true symbol of global unity

Till next time in Waseem world

Wednesday, 20 June 2007

Tag Im it 2:

If I had to choose 8 things that a stranger doesn't know about me or the 8 things that my closest friends don't know about me, they would be 2 quite different lists. On the other hand why would I share something my closest friends don't know about me on a blog of all places. So my 8 things will be 8 random things that come to mind while I am doing this list (nothing too personal), hopefully with some humor value.

1. I am getting quite good at the graffiti wall on facebook, my drawings are a bit cartoonish and I haven't reached the level of some people I have seen but I am impressed with myself. I used to believe I wasn't creative or artistic.

2. From Standard 5 to (I think) Standard 6 I was a paperboy. Not the most glorious of professions or glorious of times in my life. In fact I wasn't even paid for being a paperboy, because when we (my brother was my co-paperboy - he ran different streets) collected the money and gave it to that collector guy (Rajen) he said we were short on the paper money so we never used to get paid. I don't ever remember getting paid but I used to deliver the papers rain or shine, I would like to go back in time and slap myself for my stupidity.

3. I also worked a part time job in the butchery while in school. Also not the most glamorous of professions but at least I got paid this time (not very much but oh well). Hamza, Shiraz, Aadil and I were coworkers and we had alot of fun most of the time. We often dined on Yan-Yan, Hello Panda and Chupa-chups.

4. I was the mastermind behind Operation Poke-Najeeba-with-a-thorn. I shared the blame even though the operation was carried out by Hamza. One of my many entries into the black book (at primary school). Najeeba, if you are reading this ... I'm sorry.

5. I have enacted 3 plays to date, none of which I am willing to share on this blog. The embarrassment I experienced in actually acting in them was enough.

6. I don't like seafood, yes even prawns, and especially that fish curry that my Mamee makes. I only remember enjoying seafood once, the day before I got my results for matric, when I ate grilled garlic butter prawns by Althaaf's house. I think his aunt made.

7. I once had a 2Pac cassette that Akbar made for me, I used to listen to it all the time back in Standard 5. It was my gangsta rap phase that I got over quite fast. I think the cassette was stolen.

8. I was debadged (I was a prefect) in Standard 3 for fighting. I was supposed to set an example. I didn't. Mrs. S.D. Krishendutt never liked me anyway and she debadged me the next year again (My academic ability got me reinstated) for not doing homework and my desk always being in disarray. Mrs. Krishendutt ... if you are reading this, I hated you too.

And so the tag must pass on ... look on your right ... if your name is under the ever great links consider yourself tagged (if you haven't already done it of course). If you are not linked and you want to do the tag, go for it.

*EDIT* - I was told my method of tagging so I tag Shiraz and Hamza. If you are linked or you want to do the tag anyway, go for it, I won't hold it against you :).

Till next time in Waseem world

Monday, 18 June 2007

Once the fad permeates...

Back in tech, a friend and I used to deconstruct lyrics of songs trying to understand what the artists were trying to say, and i don't mean what 'milkshake' Kelis is talking about or what in Gods name Destiny's Child meant by 'Girl I didnt know you could get down like that' (*shudder*). We deconstructed the lyrics of songs like Matchbox20 - Disease and Puddle of Mudd's Blurry (those are the ones that come to mind). It was alot like poetry line-by-line analysis we used to do back in school. Taking your meaning from the lyrics, molding it to your own purpose. That is what music is all about. In my opinion.

So to kick off this feature I am going to deconstruct a current favorite of mine, Chevelle - The Fad from the Vena Sera album. I'm only going to do a few lines or this post is going to carry on for forever and a day. Hopefully I will be able to show the gist of the song, or what I believe it to be.

Once the fad permeates
Notice he says 'permeates', so he's not talking about the inception of the fad, hes talking about when it seeps into society, when the masses join the bandwagon of 'the fad'. Nowadays people follow fads because they want to be accepted.

Its hip to care
He uses the word 'hip', I believe, to show that what you believe is cool, it isn't really. Like the older generation use the word 'hip' to fit in with the younger generation, but fail due to the outdated nature of the word. 'Its hip to care' is saying you believe it's cool to fit in to the fad, to join the masses.

Its hip to hate it
The hip metaphor continues but this time he says even to have an opinion of the fad itself is feeding the fad, because as they say any publicity is good publicity.

The message I get from the song is to be your own person, don't fall into the trap of peer pressure or wanting to fit in. Form your own opinions on things rather than following the masses or an elitist group. It's all well and good to have solidarity but if you don't believe what you're fighting for, or have your own fact-based opinion on 'your' cause, then you are, I am sorry to say, nothing but a mindless sheep. (Cue angry barrage of hate comments)

I saw this when I was checking up on the lyrics. ' "The Fad" addresses the rampant consumerism and artifice the artist saw in Vegas' - (from the band website). The meaning may be slightly different to what I had in mind but this just illustrates my point of taking your own meaning of the lyrics and molding it to your own purpose. If anyone else has heard the song and disagrees with my view or want to add in their own meaning, feel free to do so.

Chevelle - The Fad lyrics

Till next time in Waseem world

Monday, 4 June 2007

Where life and words collide...

On arriving back from the awesome bloggers night, my brother Shiraz decided to start a blog of his own. It took him about a month to be happy with the design and put out a post but I'm sure you will see his design is awesome, probably one of the best looking blogs I've seen. So it was probably worth the time and effort he put into the design. I hope he can complement the amazing look with good writing, I'm sure he can.

One of the girls I work with, got engaged on Saturday, she had been expecting it but her fiance made her wait it out. He surprised her by taking her to a restaurant and saying he was going to meet a work friend, when they got to the restaurant they had candles on the floor spelling 'Marry Me' and he got down on one knee etc. Who says romance is dead, though this is the first romantic proposal I have heard of. I was thinking of, if I had the resources (and the girl), the kind of proposal I would make. A helicopter ride to a mountain top with a guy playing the violin and a table set for two. Haha like thats ever going to happen, I hope my future wife doesnt read this or she is going to expect some over-the-top romantic gesture. I'm a romantic realist I suppose in that regard, romance has its time and place as well as its limitations.

In Soviet Russia, the question pops YOU!!!

Till next time in Waseem world

Wednesday, 30 May 2007

5 great movies you have (probably) never seen

Over the last few months I have watched quite a few disappointing movies, movies that have done well in the box office i.e. watched by the masses. The only exceptions have been The Departed and 300, if you haven't watched these 2 movies, you should add them as well on your must watch movie list. So I have compiled a list (in no specific order and with help from of movies I have watched that either have not been well received or faded without a trace.

1.Dark City
How I got watch the movie: Hamza and I went to the movies and the movie looked interesting, we were a bit skeptical but it was good decision in the end.
Plot Summary: John Murdoch awakens alone in a strange hotel to find that he has lost his memory and is wanted for a series of brutal and bizarre murders.
Why you have to watch it: An original dark sci-fi movie, similar to The Matrix, but with its own unique reality-distorting views.

2. Running Scared
How I got to watch the movie: Hamza mentioned the movie to me, so i hired the movie despite the fact that Paul Walker(Fast and Furious :() is in the star cast.
Plot Summary: After a drug-op gone bad, Joey Gazelle is put in charge of disposing the gun that shot a dirty cop. But things goes wrong for Joey after the neighbor kid stole the gun and used it to shoot his abusive father. Now Joey has to find the kid and the gun before the police and the mob find them first.
Why you have to watch it: The way the plot unfolds, a great story and surprisingly good acting.

3. Memento
How I got to watch the movie: Channel hopping through DSTV one day revealed this gem of a movie
Plot Summary: The film tells the story of Leonard Shelby: a man who lost his short term memory in an assault where his wife was raped and murdered; now he's looking for the killer, despite his handicap. Simple as that. You don't need to know anymore.
Why you have to watch it: Incredibly unique story, amazingly well told. Probably the best of the 5 movies I'm telling you about.

4. Impostor
How I got to watch the movie: Channel hopping through DSTV again, who says DSTV isn't worth the money. (Well it isn't most of the time)
Plot Summary: An engineer creates the ultimate weapon in a battle against aliens, only to be suspected as an alien himself.
Why you have to watch it: The unique story again, the entire movie is one big guessing game.

5. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
How I got to watch the movie: I wanted to watch this movie when it was released on circuit but nobody else did, so i hired the dvd when I got the chance
Plot Summary: A murder mystery brings together a private eye, a struggling actress, and a thief masquerading as an actor
Why you have to watch it: The incredibly witty and dark humor. Here's one of the quotes from the movie ... Harmony:'Well, for starters, she's been fucked more times than she's had a hot meal.' Harry: 'Yeah, I heard about that. It was neck-and-neck and then she skipped lunch.'

Remember these next time you in the video store and looking for something to watch. If you have any of your own, please share them so I may be equally less perplexed next time I go out to hire a movie.

Till next time in Waseem world

Thursday, 24 May 2007

Not so dormant writers block

I reflected earlier on my blog how I saw blogging to be an outlet to a dormant writer. It seems though even my dormant writer can experience a not so dormant writers block. Hence my recent absence from posting, its not due to other commitments or an exciting social life and I have never been much of a workaholic. The premise for my blog has always been as a discussion forum or a way to display my acute sense of humor. So I don't feel the need to blog every iota of my life because I realise my life is boring.

I had a great post idea the other day but my idea hit a few unforeseen bumps in the research phase. My idea was based on a new series to be released in America.

Aliens in America

A Wisconsin mom arranges to host a foreign exchange student, believing the visitor will help her shy son become more popular. When the student turns out to be a Muslim teenager from Pakistan *gasp*, her plans go awry--and everyone is likely to learn a little lesson about life.

Ya I know ... WTF. Well my idea expanded to the memory of an old sitcom on TV ... ALF. Using the episode list usually supplied by wikipedia I was going to replace ALF by Muslim Pakistani teenager (MPT).
eg. Willies boss comes home for dinner and the Tanner family try to pass MPT off as a short and very hairy distant cousin. Hilarity ensues (Ok that ones lame cos I just made it up)

Unfortunately wikipedia doesn't keep an episode list for the aforementioned ALF, so i lost hope in that post. Damn you wikipedia, you are supposed to know everything. It was going to be a funny post dammit.

In other news, Liverpool lost the Champions League final to a team who were not supposed to be in the competition in the first place(Milan were found guilty of match fixing and docked points, UEFA decided in an emergency meeting to let them into the competition). I am not bitter or a sore loser though, at least my favorite player of all time(Paolo Maldini) got to raise the trophy one last time, despite his protestations of having one more season, I doubt this will come to pass.

Till next time in Waseem world

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

Blogger scenarios

I was thinking of ideas of future blogger meets and maybe some possible scenarios that might occur.

Blogger Ice skating - The girls show off their amazing balance and poise but all the guys end up in a mass pile up in the center of the rink. No injuries are incurred but I am stretchered off to nurse my bruised ego.

Blogger Paintball - The guys and girls showdown in an epic battle but Saffiya infiltrates the guys camp in disguise and picks us off one by one.

Blogger Horse riding - Mazozo challenges everyone to a horse race which results in alot of sore behinds.

Blogger Cricket - Zahira catches the winning 6 in the crowd, and Hashim Amla offers to sign the ball for her. Instead she writes her blog URL on the ball and hands it back to him.

Blogger Gokarting - Dew shrugs off her sweet girl tag to tie for first with Joe who drives with unprecedented aggression. They arm-wrestle to decide the winner

Blogger Khatham(Muslim gathering) - MJ delivers powerful lecture after the Moulana(Muslim Priest) falls ill due to too many chanamugaj(Indian Sweetmeat)

Any other possible ideas or scenarios are welcome

Till next time in Waseem World

Monday, 14 May 2007

Bowling for ice-cream

Do you remember your childhood dreams of what you wanted to be when you grew up? My dream was to be a famous author, I even wrote a couple of stories on rough pieces of paper, not for publishing or anything, just for my own sense of fulfillment. As i got older I realised I doubted I had what it took to actually become an author, so my interest declined. Sometimes the odd book would make me itch to want to try writig again, but everytime I started I gave up again due to believing my ideas were crap.

My apprehension to starting a blog was due to the fact I didnt really know what to expect, except maybe an outlet to my dormant writer. I never expected blogging as a way to make good friends, as a way to meet new people and be as fun as it is. Thanks everyone for an awesome night of bowling and ice-cream. It was amazing to see the meld of different characters and hope we all get to meet again soon.

On a separate note, my cousin Hamza, after some cohersion on my part, has started a blog also. Good luck to him, I hope he has as much fun as I do.

Till next time in Waseem world

Monday, 7 May 2007

Comicbook Canon

I will admit to being a comic book fanboy in my younger days, perhaps facilitated by my love for reading as well as the cartoon series of Xmen and Spiderman on TV. Buying comics used to be a treat and I treasured each comic that I bought (which I have since given away sadly). Therefore the event of a third Spiderman movie filled me with alot of excitement. I wont say alot about the movie because I'm sure alot of people are yet to watch the movie, but from the perspective of a 'fanboy', the movie was disappointing. Too much deviation from the comic universe, too much drama and alot of unneccesary moments a good editor would have deleted in my opinion. The action sequences and special effects were a marvel(pun intended) which made it worth watching in the IMAX.

In recent times we have seen a spate of comicbook movies, most of them mediocre at best and some just plain terrible. The makers seem to want to sell the movies on the name alone, with blatant disregard for the superhero comic universe. Anyway heres a list of the 5 best superhero movies in my opinion.

5. Batman Begins - DCs best offering since their foray into movies as well as the best Batman

4. Fantastic 4 - Stayed true to comic book universe, and Jessica Alba is hot :)

3. Xmen 1- Xmen has a huge character universe and there was no way they would satisfy everyone, but the first one came closest to achieving this.

2. Spiderman 2 - Doc Ock is considered the best Villian in the Spidey universe and well portrayed in the movie.

1. Spiderman 1 - This is probably the movie that comes closest to its comicbook counterpart, aside from the fact the girl dies in the end, but I guess some kiddies cant take that.

So as I have revealed my inner geek, allow me to reveal my inner-superhero:

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Green Lantern
Iron Man
The Flash
Wonder Woman
You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Till next time in Waseem World

Friday, 4 May 2007

The laments of a single guy

A Single guys excuse

This was a long but funny read.

Disclaimer: The opinions in the linked essay do not reflect those of Waseem himself.

I personally feel that being single isn't a curse or because there is something wrong with you. If you find the right person and want to commit to that person thats good for you, you don't need to be going through life looking for someone. I think you have more of a chance finding something if you're not looking for it.

Till next time in Waseem world

Thursday, 26 April 2007

Rules of life

I got this in an email, thought I would share :)

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and
will not learn in school. He talks about how feel good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world. Love him or hate him, he sure hit the nail on the head with this.

Rule 1

Life is not fair - get used to it

Rule 2

The world won't care about your self esteem. The world will
expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself

Rule 3

You will not make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You
won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both

Rule 4

If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss

Rule 5

Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents
had a different word for burger flipping-they called it opportunity

Rule 6

If you mess up, it's not your parents fault, so don't whine
about your mistakes, learn from them

Rule 7

Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are
now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and
listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you
save the rain forest from the parasites your parent's generation
created, try delousing the closet in your own room

Rule 8

Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life
HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll
give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This does
not bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life

Rule 9

Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off
and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do
that on your own time

Rule 10

Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have
to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs

Rule 11

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one

Till next time in Waseem World

Tuesday, 24 April 2007

Hey look its Shah Rukh Khan ... nah its just Waseem

Apparently I look like Shah Rukh Khan, maybe in some parallel universe where he has some sort of disfigurement accident and failed reconstructive surgery.

Till next time in Waseem world

Friday, 20 April 2007

I think I heard a shot ...

Insensitive? yes, but funny? i think so.
Apparently the guy sent videos and images to a news studio, so that he could become famous. He killed so many people for the infamy. I wonder what this incident will be blamed on? Gun laws, Gaming, violent movies, internet, parents. Take your pick. My guess is he is just a psychopath

Till next time in Waseem world

Monday, 16 April 2007

Falling is easy...

My birthday is normally disappointing and uneventful, but not this year, this year would be different. My cousin Hamza and I decided we would go bungee jumping on the weekend before my birthday and nothing was going to stop us.

So this Saturday, my brother Shiraz, my sister Shaista, cousins Yuraaz and Hamza and I set off for the mysterious Oribi Gorge. We had vague directions, basically 12kms from Port Shepstone, and despite several opportunities to get lost we managed to get there eventually.

We had to pay an entrance fee to get into the trails where the swing is situated so we ventured into a curios shop which had a TV showing previous jumpers. This was enough to scare the crap out of Yuraaz and my brother and sister. So we drove to the jump site with them trying to scare Hamza and I, Hamza started to look nervous.

We arrived at the jump site, and go to reception and sign our indemnity forms which looked like we were playing fruit & veg. They gave us harnesses and we watched as one guy plummeted the 100m into the gorge. They led me to rickety metal ladder and by this time I felt a mixture of fear, excitement and anticipation.

Standing in front of the edge of the cliff, the seconds counting down, instinct drives you and adrenaline courses through your veins. I jumped out of pure instinct and watched as the ground rushed towards me. I was tugged away at what seemed like the last minute and swung into the trees. The most exhilirating 3 seconds of my life came to a standstill and the only thought that went through my mind was I have to do this again.

Til next time in Waseem world