Monday, 24 September 2007

You know how I know you're gay

Few weeks ago, a couple years too late, I finally got to watch The 40 year old virgin. It carried a fair bit of hype for me, partly due to its immense popularity but also due to its now famous cast. It is a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously, a bit crass at times but you should know that getting into it.

The stand out scene for me was the conversation over games between Cal and David of why they know the other guy is gay.

Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How? Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like Coldplay.

So Hamza and I have been going at each other for past few weeks. Here is an excerpt:

me: have some jelly bears and calm down
the bears taste better than the babies
Hamza:how is that possible
the taste that is
me:the bears are sweeter than the babies
Hamza: lol
you know how I know you gay
cos you think bears are sweeter
are you waiting for me to go home :)
me: no why
Hamza: you entered but it never come
me: you know how i know youre gay
Hamza: lol because I just said that line
me: that guy was telling me something
Hamza: ya ya
me: ya and you used smiley the other place
Hamza: thats not gay
the entered line is gay out of context
but smilies are not gay
me: what about the one with hearts in the eyes
what about this <3
Hamza: what eye hearts thing
me: the in love mood on mxit
Hamza: oh
I dont use that
me: ya ya
Hamza: but ill give you a gay star for trying
lol gaystar
me: you know how i know youre gay
Hamza: sounds like heman
me: you have gay stars to give

That log tells alot about the nonsensical and weird conversations Hamza and I have.

Heres a few I thought of for my friends, I hope they don't take offense and know it is only in jest.

You know how I know Hamza is gay:
-He doesn't like any sport
- He has more male Facebook friends than female (He is working on that now though)

You know how I know MJ is gay:
-He uses conditioner in his hair
-He has Snow Patrol and Nelly Furtado on his blog
-He rather play with Link than with Lara Croft

You know how I know OH is gay:
- He said people call him anal
- He has that potato heart on one of his posts
- His obsession with rugby

You know how I know AK is gay:
- His obsession with anime

You know how I know Shiraz is gay:
-His reaction when he saw Shah Rukhs six pack

You know how I know Joe is gay:
- her name is boyish

You know how I know Dew is gay:
- her comment on Mazozos post

You know how I know Queen_Lestat is gay:
- She swears way too much for a girl

Q, you are too girlish to be gay.

And because to laugh at others you have to laugh at yourself.

You know how I know Waseem is gay:
-He listens to Air Supply and Foreigner (According to Joe and Queen, they are classic songs in my defense)
-He plays and likes Viva Pinata (According to Hamza, Yuraaz and Shiraz)
-He uses a seatbelt while driving (According to Yuraaz)

Ok I have a idea for the every commenter to include in their comment why they think the previous commenter is gay. For the first commenter, the previous commenter was me. Nothing too offensive please.

Till next time in Waseem world


The Organ Harvester said...

bastard. You had to bring the potato in. Nigger this is war. Loser is gonna be my bitch. I'm gonna get Rock t-shirt out.

Hamza Fareed said...

You know how I know OH is gay?
He has a Rock T-Shirt.

This was a pretty funny log too, although it does end in me getting pwned:

Hamza: and you said I was gay for google
take it back take it back!
Waseem: ok youre not gay for google
but you are gay for saying that
Hamza: saying what take it back
Waseem: yeah
say you did it on purpose?
Hamza: Im confused
Waseem: thats how I know youre gay
Hamza: lol

!Joe! said...

lol :D the potato was cute and freakish, ive never seen potatos like that.

i often quote this line from the 40 year old virgin: "if i hear "yah mo be there" one more time im gonna yah mo burn this place down!" :D

you know how i know you're gay, harvester?

i cant think of anything.

oh wait, the chat box had something.

you know Sha rukh khan is also referred to as SRK :)

ok, so i couldn't think of anything, klap me.

!Joe! said...

crap, hamza posted before me.

you know how i know you're gay, hamza? cos you commented on OH before me. So eager :D

M Junaid said...

Joe - you know how i know your gay
- because you have gay friends
- because you love rush hour
- because you make origami swans (ok - fine , it doesnt have the same impact because you're a chick... a manly one)

You know how i know i'm gay
- i get anonymous comments on my blog from guys who are obsessed with my dick
- i blowdry my hair
- i prefer viva pinata to gears of war
- i dont get a hard on every time someone revs their modified polo
- i write lousy poetry about my lousy love life
- i type out things in full and never use shorthand, even on mxit

hmm...i better stop now (G)

!Joe! said...

:D thanks for the manly comment...btw aren't you one of my friends mj?:) ps: waseem didn't want you to comment on your gayness here, he already did it in the post. Not everything is about you :P

The Organ Harvester said...

hahahaha - hamza, man you should see my Elton John Music Collection. I hear even Elton doesnt have Air Supply...

What's really gay is robbie Williams.


I know I am gay when guys chastise me for an absurd chatbox comment linked to porn. As if there were not worse things I could have done. Guys obsession with other guys genitals doesnt require a PHD in Psychology to know, that boy has bum issues.

Nice post brother.

Deep down we're all a little gay. Even you joe.

The OH

Zahera said...

*blinks* That Potato would make anyonee happyy dappyyy :-D (Im gona pretend to not have a clue what you guys are on about cos i think ya all kinda obsessed... its worrying)!

r said...

zahera is gay cos she says happyy dappyyy =P

Zahera said...

R is so gay she makes MJ look sraight! :-P

You said...

Zahera is gay coz she from the UK! Hahahahahaha

Zahera said...

*looks stern* take that back now! :-P Whoever you are you! :-P
Us UK people rullee.. cmon admit it- we dont seem to have half the issues you South Africans have! ahahahaah (no offense intended here)!

queen_Lestat said...

meh :/

fuck you Waseem, you fucking faggot :D

you is gay cos that comment was just nonsensical and ghei.

Anonymous said...

Queen is a DRAG QUEEN, hence she is 'ghei' LoL

Waseem said...

OH - you can start a war anytime, as long as its satyagraha type

Hamza - All logs end with you pwned

Joe - That yah mo be there part, i totally forgot about it.

MJ - Well played comment

Zahera & R - I liked the banter, happy dappy is pretty gay hey

You - UK isnt gay, maybe you are (see what i did there)

awesome comment Queen :D

You know how i know Faizal is gay, the only thing he could think of is drag queen (definite transvestite issues)

mazozo said...


Okay here goes:

You know how i know waseem is gay?

Because he mentioned transvestite issues ;-)

No offence bro Up the Reds: Torres is my hero

!Joe! said...

Rob ain't gay :'(

I'm really gay, I wear dresses and lipstick and crap. oh wait, that's transexual. see, im confused :D

aksn1p3r said...

Me: lol my friend works onsite, thats way better
Hamza: I used to work onsite
Me: cos of remote support
Hamza: its just remote support sweet life
Me: esh id rather do hands on
for myself
Hamza: na man you havent met ppl
me: how u know im gay, cos i jsut said that.

Ghandi was gay and so ru!

Waseem ur so gay cos ur skin on ur face is so smooth :D I'm gay cos I know Waseem's old smoothskin secret :P

If ur happy ur totally gay.

Dew said...

You know how I know the guy above me is gay?

He thinks you're happy if you're totally gay :P

aksn1p3r said...

Swak LOL

Aren't Muslims immune ?

Anonymous said...

You know how i know Ak is gay?
He likes piping his yahoo into another mans rss, see what I did there. I SAID SEE!!

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