Thursday, 18 October 2007

Smarter than the average 5th grader

When I was in Grade 5, (or Standard 3 as it was known back in the day) I ran into pole, developed a crush for this girl named Fathima, played hide and seek, read books, watched an insane amount of TV and basically behaved like any normal pre-adolescent kid would. I was by no measure of imagination, a great mind or a pioneer in thinking. So this makes the premise of Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader somewhat puzzling. I mean perhaps it worked in America because Americans are stupid, but there again by association their kids must be stupid also. Unless they take the smartest 5th graders and pit them against the stupidest of adults, but that is not really achieving much.

Im Smarter than her


I was thinking about possible prizes they could have on the show. Something that is specific to this show, over and above the usual, money, car and ipods. This is what I think the prizes should look like.

Grand Prize
A 5th grade class has to do your job for a year, complete with punishments for below par performance.
Possible Punishment: No lunch break

Consolation Prize
A 5th grade classes allowance for the month, that will teach them for trying to play with the big people.

If the 5th graders win, you can buy them all ice cream or something, they are small, they can be easily pleased.

In other news, I have started a satire/sarcastic news blog with Hamza and MJ. We have few articles up at the moment , but the look is a bit bland. I'm still waiting for Hamza to do some layout design, that lazy madar. He thinks root canal is a valid excuse.

Till next time in Waseem world

6 comments:

Hamza Fareed said...

heh yeah back in the day when pluto was a planet and 32-bit systems where the shit. Too much t.v, Aladin can vouch for that. Are the kids the contestants? I'd like to see George Bush on it.
And lazy I'm not lazy I'm biding my time like a tiger waiting to ambu.... ok I'm lazy.

aksn1p3r said...

Im sure we were smarter but more disciplined... remember Shiraz taught us about the peat that u reach when you dig way below the seasand of the sandpit :D

Oh n im pretty sure we wer better at maths than the maths-professor's son :D

!Joe! said...

I think it's silly to compare grown-ass men and women to children...how do you expect a person above 30/35 to remember some of the stuff grade 5 children know - they have responsibilities and...stuff in their lives that are far bigger than remembering how high mount kilimanjaro is. fifth graders have nothing else to worry about other than learning facts. Duh they're gonna end up looking smarter.

I say all this because I am scared I am not smarter than a fifth grader :(

Libra said...

You underestimate the creative intelligence of fifth-graders...even American ones would down most adults I know in the area of sheer inspiration.

P.s. Your last post was funny; you should email it to Maniac Muslim. Poor Hamza doesn't get any submissions since making his website more democratic:)

The Organ Harvester said...

kids in this here town know about contraceptives. now that's frightening. here's another show, can you shake it like a 12 year old.

JK Rowling said...

My lawyer's will be contacting you and your accomplices shortly.