Monday, 30 November 2009

Harry Potter > Twilight

Edward Cullen = Cedric Diggory (Robert Pattinson)

Voldemort > Cedric Diggory (Voldemort pwned Cedric with an Avada Kedavra)

Harry Potter > Voldemort (Harry Potter finishes off Voldemort in Deathly Hallows)

Ergo...

Harry Potter > Edward Cullen (Twilight)

i.e. F**k Twilight.

Till next time in Waseem world

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Once upon a time there was a freewriting challenge

Parasputin made up the rules:

a) choose a topic
b) set a timer for 5 minutes
c) switch off your monitor to reduce the temptation to edit
d) write continuously, no edits.

Once upon a time there were two boys looking at each other. "What do you want from me?" asked the one boy to the other. "What is it that you need?" The other boy did not reply, just seemed to mouth something while the oher boy spoke. Inaudibly. On closer examination it seemed the the inaudible boy was not a boy at all but a reflection in a mirror. Unfortunately this was not a magical mirror as in harry potter and the mirror did not reply to him. It seemed the boy was just having an existential moment. Maybe if the mirror could reply it would tell him stuff like Ambition, success satisfaction, the usual stuff. Or maybe the reflection would say, 'Dude you're crazy' Which indeed seemed to be the case. Now I will end this story cos I got lie 30 seconds left and nothing else to say, and not enough time to think of something new to add to this story. The End...

The ellipse's purpose was not to create drama but because I had a few extra seconds. I'm surprised I didnt make any more spelling mistakes. I have a few punctuational errors, but that's usual for me. I am not tagging anyone, cos as Parasputin said, this is not a tag, just a challenge, so anyone can do it, or not do it.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

What if Kanye West had a time machine

You probably think this Kanye West thing has gone too far, and you are probably right but I'm sure by next week we will have some other idiot making a fool of himself on international television and we will all be making fun of him. It is just how the world works. I was just thinking what if Kanye West had a time machine, what other special moments he could ruin. This is not to say Kanye West doesn't have a time machine, considering his intimate knowledge of time.















Till next time in ... YO WASEEM IM GONNA LET YOU FINISH BUT THE ONION IS FUNNIEST PARODY SITE OF ALL TIME ... Waseem world

Monday, 7 September 2009

My Debut Novel Cover

Got this from Nafisa's site, she always seems to do the coolest tags.



Create your debut novel cover:

1 – Go to “Fake Name Generator” or click http://www.fakenamegenerator.com/
The name that appears is your author name

2 – Go to “Random Word Generator” or click http://www.websitestyle.com/parser/randomword.shtml
The word listed under “Random Verb” is your title

3 – Go to “FlickrCC” or click http://flickrcc.bluemountains.net/index.php
Type your title into the search box. The first photo that contains a person is your cover.

4 – Use Photoshop, Picnik or something similar to put it all together. Be sure to crop and or zoom in.

5 – Post it to your blog along with this text.

I tag any budding authors out there, *cough* Saaleha *cough*

Addendum: The text if it isn't clear
Title : Sancrosanct
Author: Elmer D. McDowell

Till next time in Waseem world.

Friday, 21 August 2009

Ramadan E-Cards 2

Ramadan Mubarak everyone. Here on ever-great-Waseem we celebrate the eve of Ramadan, the laziest way possible. i.e. E-cards. I'm not sure if you guys remember last year Saaleha had the awesomest Ecard post which was probably vastly plagiarized like her Survivor Ramadan post of this year. I also had an effort which wasn't as funny but I tried my best. So this year I decided to do a few more, to get the festivities of Ramadan going. Btw how many As are there in Ramadan, I thought there were 4 (Ramadaan) but who am I to argue with Firefox spellcheck.




Till next time in Waseem world.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

When Facebook Is Down

Twitter went down last week. I know! Mothereffers*! So while everyone was running around in crisis mode, not knowing who to share their 140 character ideas with, I decided to get to the bottom of it. I googled "Is Twitter down?" and i got a few links, one of which was site which tells you if twitter is down. Another of the links was a funny little site that gave you some ideas what to do while twitter is down, or what happens when twitter goes down etc. Eg. When Twitter is down, make up your own Twitter with household chemicals., When Twitter is down, I don't know who I am anymore.Each time you click, it gives you another message. So I copied one of the messages and went to paste it in my FB status but FB was being a b... uncooperative. So I wonder what if Facebook went down, how would people react. There should be a WhenFBisDown site, so I decided to make a few of my own messages and then try to create a widget, and put it up on my blog. Hopefully no-one steals my idea.

Here are few of my own, that I can think of at the moment. If you can think of any, add them on comments, and I will send you the widget also! Free of charge! (Not like I was planning to charge for it anyway.)
  • When FB is down, noone cares what you are doing.
  • When FB is down, there are no uploaded mothereffing baby pics.
  • When FB is down, noone "likes" everything you say.
  • When FB is down, the girl you have been stalking, goes on with her life.
  • When FB is down, go whine to someone who cares.
  • When FB is down, you realise you have no real friends.
  • When FB is down, let's conveniently forget this is a free service that doesn't care about our inconvenience.
  • When FB is down, your company is saving millions on bandwidth.
  • When FB is down, you can never remember anyone's birthday.
  • When FB is down, you have no inclination to wish anyone for their birthday.
  • When FB is down, you consider finally trying out that Twitter thing.


I'll think of more and add them, if and when. Like I said earlier, if you think of any, please add them on as a comment, and I'll add it to my proposed widget.

* - I am euphemising my swearing to prepare for Ramadaan

Till next time in Waseem world.

Monday, 3 August 2009

My Life According to Chevelle

Got this from Nafisa, it's one of those cool tags you enjoy doing. I chose Chevelle from Korn and Disturbed cos it was alot tougher and Chevelle are my favorite band.

Using only songs from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to whoever you like. You can’t use the artist I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think! Repost as “My Life According to (ARTIST NAME)”.

Pick Your Artist: Chevelle

Are you male or female?
Humanoid

Describe yourself:
Another Know It All

How do you feel?
One Lonely Visitor

Describe where you currently live:
Family System

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Blank Earth

Your favourite form of transportation:
Black Boys on Mopeds

Your best friend is:
Saturdays

Your favourite colour is:
The Red

What is the weather like?
Emotional Drought

Favourite time of day:
Midnight to Midnight

If your life was a T.V. show, what would it be called?
Straight Jacket Fashion

What is life to you?
Tug-O-War

Your relationships:
Well Enough Alone

Your fear:
Forfeit

What is the best advice you have to give?
Prove To You

If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Skeptic

Thought for the day:
Wonder What's Next

How I would like to die:
To Return

My soul’s present condition:
It's no good

My Motto:
Send the Pain Below

I tag whoever wants to do this, it's much harder than it looks.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Thursday, 23 July 2009

My Music

I don't listen to much of my own music lately. I usually listen to the radio on the way to work, and I'm assailed by the tone deaf selection of the sales agent populace outside my office at work. You might think I'm being harsh, but I'm confident that if there is any song in the world that you hate, the sales agent crew has played it. On repeat. For 2 hours straight. Their eclectic taste ranges from Hip hop to R&B and Hindi music, to even the shallowest, dankest depth that is chutney music. I think even East Coast Radio would be better than this musical wasteland.

The one song the sales agent crew seem to love more than other is Pokerface. I have heard Pokerface (give or take) 5 gajillion times (From Nafisa - How do you kill Lady Gaga? You poke 'er face. Something which I dearly would like to do at times). Weirdly enough though every time I hear the song, I seem to think of Azra. There is no real reason for this. And this got me thinking, there are quite a few songs that make me think of people I know when I hear them. Some of the songs I recognise the association with said person, others seem to have no connection to the person whatsoever.

Azra - Any Lady Gaga song.
Saaleha - Flash Republic - Twister.
Nooj - Taylor Swift songs, and Ironic - Alanis Morrisette.
Joe - Robbie Williams and Keane.
MJ - Sami Yusuf
Morena - She always get what she wants - Prime Circle
Parasputin - Tu na ja mere baadsha - Khuda Gawah
OrganHarvester - Seether - Given
Hamza - SOAD, Slipknot, NIN etc.
Queen Lestat - Smashing Pumpkins - Ava Adore
WIP - Nickleback

Actually looking back on it, most of the songs I know why they do make me think of the associated person, except Saaleha with Flash Republic and Azra with Lady Gaga, maybe there's some subconscious thing, which they can remind me about.

Till next time in Waseem World.

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Dancing Gir!

I have lost the need or inspiration to blog, I don't know if this was a gradual thing or a sudden realisation, but I just can't. Even if there was something I would like to write about, I just can't go about writing the actual sentences. My last few posts have been tags, and tags, while sometimes quite interesting, are usually very easy to do. And so I've decided to take a break from blogging until the inspiration comes back. This doesn't apply to Almost News. And cos I didn't wanna leave my last post with something boring as a movie list.

Just for Nooj ...


Tarantallegra!!!


Till next time in Waseem world

Friday, 29 May 2009

No catchy title, it's hometime

MJ tagged me to do my favorite 25 movies of all time, and considering this blog hasnt had anything going for it in the last couple weeks, why not? The problem is it's really difficult to pick just 25 movies, considering hundreds, maybe even thousands of movies throughout my life. So these are in no particular order, cos you can't really compare comedy to an epic movie. Recently I've found my favorite movies are comedies, I'm not sure why. I think you can tell alot about someone by their choice of movie. Like this one girl I worked with called Mr. Bones 2, the funniest movie she has ever seen. I wrote her off immediately.

So without further ado:

  1. Jurassic Park
  2. Fight Club
  3. Shawshank Redemption
  4. LOTR: Return of the King
  5. Aladdin
  6. Finding Neverland
  7. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
  8. Memento
  9. Anchorman: Legend of Ron Burgundy
  10. Zoolander
  11. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
  12. Spiderman
  13. Monsters Inc.
  14. The Matrix
  15. The Departed
  16. Training Day
  17. LOTR: The Two Towers
  18. Little Miss Sunshine
  19. American History X
  20. Saving Private Ryan
  21. Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind
  22. Gladiator
  23. Brave Heart
  24. Boondock Saints
  25. Home Alone

I'm probably missing out some, I'll come back and comment if I remember more, and replace some.

I would tag Nooj and WIP but they might find this impossible considering how few movies they watch ;P So I'll just tag Trinity and Nafisa if they want it.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

No Beyonce Listeners Tolerated

At this juncture in my life I can't really see myself getting married, let alone having kids. I have my moments of thinking it really is for me, and wondering what my kids would be like. I've even picked out names like most people have, even though the kids matched to those names may be restricted just to my imagination.

So given the above, I found it very difficult to come up with 10 things to impart on my unborn/imaginary kids. But a promise is a promise.

  1. Don't get into debt. If you can't afford it, don't buy it except for few notable exceptions like house or a car, but even then don't spend beyond your means.
  2. Noone is better than you, and you are better than noone.
  3. It is important to have dreams, but don't let those dreams cripple you from achieving other things.
  4. It is not in the end of the world to fail, neither is it the end of the world to not achieve your dreams.
  5. Don't resent your parents for things that they aren't able to provide you with.
  6. A person who has never read a proper book is a person with very narrow horizons.
  7. A real friend doesn't just tell you things you want to hear.
  8. Islam isn't a religion, it isn't something we have to do, it's a way of life that makes us better humans.
  9. Life isn't fair but you should look at people worse off than you when deciding what is fair and what isn't (Something I should practise before preaching.)
  10. If you listen to Beyonce, you will not live in my house.
I tag Azzy cos she's always got bags of advice and WIP cos she says noone tags her.

Till next time in Waseem world

Friday, 8 May 2009

Weird Mind of Waseem 3

Have you ever wondered about the people in traffic? Like that guy with the BMW Heaven-ZN, where is he going to? And why does he have to change lane every 20 meters? And that lady in the white Jeep, why does she have to hold up everyone just to let the entire next lane change lane(including BMW Heaven-ZN)? And how come the lane you change to automatically becomes the slower lane? Damn deceptive trucks.

Another thing is have you ever noticed when you stuck in traffic, when you eventually get to work, you're the only one who seems to be late?* Where do the rest of the traffic people go to? Don't they get to work late? I wonder if those traffic people really exist, and if their sole purpose is to cause traffic and make you late. Like if you watched Truman show, as soon as he wants to leave the 'city', everyone comes out to block his way and cause traffic.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

Is that a pen in your pocket ...


or do you just really like TellyTubbies?*

* - Note guy on the right

Source: Friend was tagged on this album on Facebook

Till next time in Waseem world.

Monday, 6 April 2009

Hey there De Lille

I'm returning the compliment to MJ, whose 'Hey there Jameelah' is easily one of his best posts. It's very short cos I had a problem keeping up with the continuity of my theme with the rest of the tune. Forgive the out-of-tuneness.

Hey there De Lille

Hey there De Lille
What's it like in Cape Town city
I'm a thousand miles away
but Ma'am tonight you look so witty
Yes you do
Helen Zille is not as bright as you
I swear its true

Hey there De Lille
Don't you worry about the Democratic Alliance
Tony Leon was a phony
Give the MF another listen
Close your eyes
The Raj could be a blessing in disguise
He could be by your side

Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID
The MF and ID

Hey there De Lille
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me ma'am
The Raj will pay the bills cos he's a star
You'll have it good
You'll have the votes you knew you would
His word is good

Hey there De Lille
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your vote away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with the Raj you'd fall
The Raj'd have it all

Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID

Adapted from Hey there Delilah by Plain White T's


Till next time in Waseem world.

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Waseem's Ever Great Food tour of JHB 2009

I have recently lost the urge to blog and I thought to myself I'm over this blogging thing and I have found much more enjoyment in blogging Almost News than the recent inane meme blogs. 

I resolved to let my blog go, but after I received my recent Sitemeter and it informed me that I have on average, 240 visitors a week, I thought it be pretty lousy for them to be greeted by the same crappy posts. So this is an attempt to revive The Ever Great Waseem.

My recent JHB trip was good. Filled with good food, lots of driving, getting lost couple times as well as meeting old and new friends. The food was a real highlight, who knew JHB had such great food joints? Maybe you did but not me. (And who says food joints? Me, apparently.)

So I present to you: Waseem's Ever Great Food tour of JHB 2009

1. Chuckleberrys

Chuckleberrys was the venue for our infamous blogger meet, highly publicised and sparsely attended. I'm not complaining though cos I got to meet 2 of my best blogger friends (who, I think,  have been more than just blogger friends for quite a while) and 2 of my favorite plurk buddies. What is plurk you ask? Exactly! Anyway this isn't a blog meet post, it's a food tour post. The menus were unnecessarily heavy, and food choices were vast. I finally settled on sauteed mushroom burger, hoping they had mushrooms and burgers cos for some reason they didn't have much other ingredients, including curry and banana, and other stuff I don't remember. I also ordered a choc fudge milkshake, while Hamza bravely ordered the peanut butter milkshake, and so did Saaleha, in fact their orders were exactly the same. It was like rain on a wedding day. (Actually it wasn't cos it was a coincidence not irony. I just wanted to say rain on a wedding day, which is also not irony.)

The burger was ok, I had a lightweight one, compared to Naeem's middleweight one, which was huge. I think for the price, Wimpy is better, or even McD's for that matter. The milkshake was lousy, so was the peanut butter one, which I tasted from Hamza. You want a great milkshake? Have McD's strawberry milkshake. You remember me talking about great food joints at beginning of post, this wasn't one of them. 

2. Groom's House

 You know when you go to an Indian house, you HAVE to eat. There is no choice. Especially when they set a whole tressel just for you, holding up all other arrangements. The menu was Kalia and Soji, typical Khatham food. I couldn't stomach any Kalia, considering the ok burger, so I just had some Soji. Soji was good, not too granular, not too sweet, not too oily, just right. I got away with just looking at the Kalia and sipping Cooee Iron Brew thoughtfully.

3. The Wedding

At the wedding, I fell in love. With the dessert tray. I told Hamza, we should bide our time though, dessert would be all the sweeter at the end of the meal. The meal comprised of sweet rice, which I find rather stupid in concept, and chicken biryani. Biryani, alas with basmathi rice. Some people like basmathi rice, I have no idea why, it is an even more stupid concept than sweet rice. I ate my meal with little relish, looking all the more forward to my dessert. We finished our meal and went to wash our hands, and Hamza went outside to smoke, while I gave him company. On our return, disaster struck! Our beautifully assembled dessert tray lay almost barren, pillaged save for few enticing ice cream cupcakes and some healthy-looking fruit cupcakes. We looted the last remnants of the dessert tray, looking longingly, at the immaculately concieved cupcakes and triple choc mousse things of our fellow diners. The ice cream cupcake thing was nice, and the Bar One swiss roll, but it really was a case of what might have been.

4. Spill the Beans

Rather than be assailed by another round of basmathi biryani, we managed to escape the groom's house once more, and our destination was premeditated. Spill the Beans. Pizza.

I knew very little about this place, except for that they served pizza and coffee. The setting was that of a coffee shop, very trendy, if I used the word sheek, I would have said sheek. We ordered a couple of large pizzas, don't remember the names, but they were delicious. Easily the best pizza I've eaten in a long while. The remarkable thing were the hot chocolates we ordered, not the most delicious (Wimpy makes the best far as I'm concerned), but they had these amazing designs on the froth using hot chocolate syrup. It was the food joint of the food tour.

5. Schlotzsky's

Schlotzsky's - funny name, serious sandwich. We had this at Sandton City, I ordered a club sandwich. The best sandwich I've ever eaten. I regret giving half mine to Hamza. I think Subway is overrated, they have great bread choices though. We capped off our JHB eating tour with chocolate minibon. Tasted the same as the one in Durban. I wanted to try Haagen Daz, but it was R21 a scoop, and I was like Fuck that.

We also had Wrap It Up on the way home, but that it was in Harrismith so that is excluded from the Ever Great Food Tour. Sorry Wrap It Up. Thems the rules.

Till next time in Waseem world

Monday, 9 March 2009

Do you know the story about the Zen master?

I watched Charlie Wilson's War yesterday, and I thought it was a really great movie, and I'm not even that into politics usually. There was one scene especially that I enjoyed.

The scene goes like this
Gust Avrakotos: Listen, not for nothing, but do you know the story about the Zen master and the little boy?
Rep Charlie Wilson: Oh is this something from [name inaudible] the Greek witch of Aliquippa, Pennsylvania?
Gust: Yeah as a matter of fact it is.
“There’s a little boy. Now on his 14th birthday he gets a horse, and everybody in the village says “How wonderful the boy got a horse,” and the Zen master says “We’ll see.”
“Two years later the boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg, and everybody in the village says “How terrible,” and the Zen master says “We’ll see.”
“Then a war breaks out and all the young men have to go off and fight, except the boy can’t cause his leg’s all messed up, and everybody in the village says “How wonderful”…
Charlie: Now the Zen master says “We’ll see.”
Gust: So you get it?
Charlie: No. No, cause I’m stupid…
Gust: You’re not stupid, you’re just in Congress.
(To put rest of the dialogues in context I have to tell you they are celebrating their victory over the Soviet Union in Afghanistan)
Gust: Start with the roads, move on to the schools, restock the sheep herds, give ‘em jobs, give ‘em hope.
Charlie: I’m trying.
Gust: “Try harder”
Charlie: I took you from five million to a billion. I broke this ice on this thing [something] - I got a Democratic congress in lockstep behind a Republican president -
Gust: That’s not good enough. Because I am about to hand you a code-word classified NIE [national intelligence estimate] right now and it’s gonna tell you that the crazies have started rolling into Kandahar like it’s a f’ing bathtub drain.
Charlie: Jesus, Gust, you could depress a bride on her wedding day.
Gust: Hey. Listen to what I’m telling you.
(they hug)
Charlie: You did a hell of a job for the son of a soda pop maker.
Gust: “We’ll see.”


Till next time in Waseem world.

Monday, 2 March 2009

Boredom, thy name is this tag

Finish the sentence..........

Finish the sentence survey - your turn!
Paste the sentences into a note of your own, change the ... to your answers, then tag awesome people to use it as filler posts

Finish The Sentence Survey

1. My ex... is non-existent. Existentialism is a funny thing.

2. Maybe I should... rethink what i write in the next sentence.

3. I love... big butts, I cannot lie. (Not really, this is just lyrics from a dumb song)

4. People would say that I'm... sweet, but I have a mean sense of humor

5. I don't understand... racism, or any other kind of bigotry for that matter

6. When I wake up in the morning... I snatch at dissolving images of my previous nights dreams.

7. I lost... 30 Kgs. Ask me how. (Does anyone actually fall for this?)

8. Life is full of... amazing moments, it's about making those moments last.

9. My past is... passed. I can only look to the future. 

10. I get annoyed when... my friends are trod on.

11. Parties are... not very consequentual in Waseem's world.

12. I wish... Almost News was better received. 

13. Dogs... are not my best friend

14. Cats... was this broadway show

15. Tomorrow... never dies.

16. I have... no debt.

17. If I had a million dollars… I would be sleeping right now

18. I'm totally... over this tag.

I tag noone, this tag was boring. (yawn)

Till next time in Waseem world.

Friday, 27 February 2009

Starting a band baby

I got this from Zahira's blog, and I think its the best tag I've seen in a while.

1 - Go to “wikipedia.” Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
      The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to “Random quotations”or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
      The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click         http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
      Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post it to notes and TAG the friends you want to join in - anyone else can join in too

It’s easier that it sounds. Try it!




Now the chicks will know the name of my band, when they're all up on me like they wanna hold hands.

(For those unable to see pic)

I tag anyone who wants to do this, It's alot of fun.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Dammit...

...I'm a nerd.

I always thought I was in the middle, not popular, not too geeky. I used to think it is too much hard work becoming a nerd, because there is too much to study and learn. Also I was never much for Star Trek, X-Files and all those cult series'. I enjoyed the occasional episode but I was never obsessed over them.

That was until I read this - The Nerd Handbook. This article is full of indications of a nerd, and almost all of the points deeply resonated with my personality.

1. Understand your nerd’s relation to the computer.
I'm not much of a computer geek, I don't know much about the latest motherboard etc. I know the basics, due to the fact that I'm in IT. I do really love my Xbox though, and all my game consoles I have had before, which I think I could substitute for my PC. Not to the extent of I can't live without my Xbox though.

2. Your nerd has control issues.
I'm not big fan of change, and I'm possessive over the things I do have. Probably attributed to Middle Child Syndrome.

3. Your nerd has built himself a cave.
Well I wouldn't call it a cave as such, it's just the place in my house that you would likely to find me, playing Xbox. I dont know about the clutter having purpose, but it's definitely cluttered.

4. Your nerd loves toys and puzzles
I love puzzles, I used to like You for all those blockbusters they used to have, and I used to love putting puzzles together. I don't do it as much anymore, but I imagine I would have same enthusiasm, but perhaps less patience.

5. Nerds are f---ing funny
Check. Ok this might be bit of boasting I guess, but I think I have great sense of humor.

6. Your nerd has an amazing appetite for information.
I came up with the phrase "To the Google". I like learning new things, random stuff, interesting stuff. My mind is full of meaningless trivia.

7. Your nerd has built an annoyingly efficient relevancy engine in his head.
I guess you can also call it a bullshit filter. Some people babble alot, I don't mean friends, cos with friends babble is cool, but like at work or at meaningless family/social gatherings, it's really handy. Like just now this annoying lady at work told me something, I don't know what she said but I know it doesn't concern me.

8. Your nerd might come off as not liking people.
"Small talk. Those first awkward five minutes when two people are forced to interact. Small talk is the bane of the nerd’s existence because small talk is a combination of aspects of the world that your nerd hates. When your nerd is staring at a stranger, all he’s thinking is, “I have no system for understanding this messy person in front of me”. This is where the shy comes from. This is why nerds hate presenting to crowds." - From the article.
This is so true, and to add to this, I usually don't like most people. I have come to be alot better at social interaction but I still have alot of awkwardness at first.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Monday, 26 January 2009

The roof is on fire

Inspired by this article.



What's up in this hizzay?



The roof, The roof is on fire.


We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn. Burn, motherfucker, burn.

No, the roof is really on fire.

Oh :-/


Till next time in Waseem world.

Friday, 23 January 2009

Blog Template Predictions

Read and be amazed. Predictions based on blog template readings.

I predict: Inspired by a Chappies wrapper, Nooj's coworkers will send her into space at the age of 35 in a bid to make her taller. While it does work, Nooj will she find that her height returns to normal once she returns back to Earth. Not disheartened she will continue venture out into space, continually growing and then returning back to normal. The frequent space trips will result in Nooj developing a mild dementia, which will lead to an addiction to novocaine. By the age of 40, Nooj will have removed all her teeth and have a huge dental bill.

I predict: In 2019, a first cousin will be indebted to WIP for saving her a huge amount of money, and pay for a complete kitchen makeover, including granite tops. At first WIP will be somewhat bemused but will later enjoy her time in the kitchen, causing a vast amount of flour to seep into her skin, due to too many baking episodes. WIP will be forced to color her hair red to match her much lightened skin tone.

I predict: By the age of 42, Azra will develop a split personality which will lead a complete double life and run for president under the name Anwar. Unfortunately Anwar will lose to a more forceful candidate, which will be Azra and Azra will become the first female president of the New Botswana.

I predict: MJ's life long dream will come true in 2034, when EA buys 5 of his game ideas and he is able to open his own hair salon, complete with Pakistani masseuses. Disaster will strike later on when MJ decides to open a Singstar Karaoke Centre and he chases away most of his customer base with his dreadful singing.

I predict: In 2029, Kay will inherit an entire fleet of red double decker buses. However due to her cavalier bus schedules, her passengers will revolt and picket outside her bus depot. In a rare moment of rage, Kay will drive into the picketing mob. Noone is hurt but she will be sentenced to 15 years of prison for intent to cause grievous bodily harm. Kay will be let out after a week due to good behaviour and will transform her entire fleet into low cost housing which she will distribute to her almost victims.

I predict: After the birth of her 5th child, at the age of 38, Dew will decide to go into Bollywood movies. Dew will star in her first movie opposite Shah Rukh Khan, and while the movie will recieve critical acclaim, it will flop at the box office due to the audiences' unwillingness to accept an actress named Dew Drops. Dew will leave Bollywood and proceed to have 5 more children and a further 32 grandchildren.

I predict: In 2028, saaleha.com will become so big that Google will feel threatened and launch a technological attack against the hugely popular site, which will lead to the first WWWW (World Wide Web War). saaleha.com will be forced to ally with Microsoft and Yahoo and together they will be able to bring the Google giant to its knees. Not satisfied, saaleha.com will quickly dispatch with Microsoft and Yahoo in their weakened state, and changes the face of the internet forever to this(This is a link).

Till next time in Waseem world.

Friday, 9 January 2009

John & Mary - Wedding Invitation

This is a wedding invitation we received recently. I am still awestruck by its stupidity. The names and details have been changed to protect the dumb, but the rest of it is word for word.

John: Mary, lets fulfill the Sunnat of our Rasoolalah (SAW) and get married.

Mary: Alhamdo- Lilah - Allah has bestowed his blessing upon us. When will this auspicious day be?

John: On Friday, 9th January 2009 at the Piet Retief Hall.

Mary: What time will the Nikah take place?

John: After Asr, 17h45 at the Piet Retief Mosque.

Mary: What time will I meet my guests at the hall?

John: At 17h00.

Mary: What about supper?

John: Supper will be served at 18h30.

Mary: Jazakallah, may Allah bless us on this precious day.

John: Insha Allah Ameen.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Does anyone remember this movie?

It was aired on MNET, during the good old days of KTV holiday movies. It was probably shown in the late 80s, early 90s, but maybe it was actually released before that, cos in those days MNET were not as up to date as they are now.

The movie was about a boy with a magic pencil. The pencil was long, flat and blue, and whatever he drew was able to come to life. The incident I remember was him drawing a rhino. The drawings came to life as drawings, not the actual creature itself, so it was like a piece of wall shaped like a child's representation of a rhino, not an actual rhino. I think the movie was about someone trying to steal the pencil away from him.

I doubt it will be as wonderful as I remember it though, I think when you are younger you tend to hype things up. Like Nightmare on Elm Street when I was younger was the scariest thing in the world. It gave me nightmares for weeks. Yet when I watched it when I was 20ish or so, it seemed so poorly made.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Friday, 2 January 2009

Memes

I got this from Azra, and although I've done this on FB already, I just felt like blogging this as well. Maybe the Meme will lead to inspiration

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you?
Again & Again - Keane (Perfect Symmetry)

Will I have a happy life?
The Cell - Butterfly Effect (dunno album)

What do my friends really think of me?
Attack – 30seconds to Mars (not sure)

What do people secretly think of me?
Fight for life – Soil (not sure again, i should just omit this part)

How can I be happy?
only one– lifehouse (no name face(yay i know one))

What should I do with my life?
Revolution Cry – Lifehouse (i think this is just a b side- not released)

Will I ever have children?
Chapter one – Lifehouse (Lifehouse - is it gay how much lifehouse i have?)

What is some good advice for me?
Walking away – Lifehouse (Lifehouse - damn this winamp, cant you shuffle better)

How will I be remembered?
Mudpie – Lifehouse (No name face - this is getting ridiculous now)

What is my signature dancing song?
The Corner – Staind (The new album whatever its called - this is so true, i dont dance, my signature dancing song would be standing in the corner)

What do I think my current theme song is?
Someones in the wolf - Queens of the stone Age (dunno album, what does this even mean)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
She is – The Fray (How to save a Life - bugger everyone else)

What song will play at my funeral?
Not afraid – Earshot (the first album - ooh nice one)

What type of men/women do you like?
Freak on a leash – Korn (follow the leader - hahaha)

What is my day going to be like?
On a day like today – Keane (dunno album - this is very obscure)

Im not sure if this is supposed to be in order, I didnt put it in order, thats difficult.

4 Places I Go to Over and Over Again
4. KFC
3. Overport City
2. That shop near my house to buy bread
1. Gateway

4 People Who Mail Me Regularly
4. Facebook Application notifications
3. Blogger
2. Zahira - she always got someone looking for lift or apartment or something
1. News...

4 of My Favourite Places to Eat
4. KFC
3. Milky Lane
2. Nandos
1. Spur

4 Places I’d Rather be Now
4. Sleeping
3. Playing xbox
2. Watching a movie
1. Having icecream

4 Favourite TV Shows
4. Whose line is it anyway
3. Malcolm in the middle
2. Simpsons
1. Invader Zim

4 Movies I Could Watch Again and Again
4. Jurassic Park
3. LOTR 2 or 3
2. Anchorman
1. Andaz Apna Apna