Monday, 26 January 2009

The roof is on fire

Inspired by this article.



What's up in this hizzay?



The roof, The roof is on fire.


We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn. Burn, motherfucker, burn.

No, the roof is really on fire.

Oh :-/


Till next time in Waseem world.

Friday, 23 January 2009

Blog Template Predictions

Read and be amazed. Predictions based on blog template readings.

I predict: Inspired by a Chappies wrapper, Nooj's coworkers will send her into space at the age of 35 in a bid to make her taller. While it does work, Nooj will she find that her height returns to normal once she returns back to Earth. Not disheartened she will continue venture out into space, continually growing and then returning back to normal. The frequent space trips will result in Nooj developing a mild dementia, which will lead to an addiction to novocaine. By the age of 40, Nooj will have removed all her teeth and have a huge dental bill.

I predict: In 2019, a first cousin will be indebted to WIP for saving her a huge amount of money, and pay for a complete kitchen makeover, including granite tops. At first WIP will be somewhat bemused but will later enjoy her time in the kitchen, causing a vast amount of flour to seep into her skin, due to too many baking episodes. WIP will be forced to color her hair red to match her much lightened skin tone.

I predict: By the age of 42, Azra will develop a split personality which will lead a complete double life and run for president under the name Anwar. Unfortunately Anwar will lose to a more forceful candidate, which will be Azra and Azra will become the first female president of the New Botswana.

I predict: MJ's life long dream will come true in 2034, when EA buys 5 of his game ideas and he is able to open his own hair salon, complete with Pakistani masseuses. Disaster will strike later on when MJ decides to open a Singstar Karaoke Centre and he chases away most of his customer base with his dreadful singing.

I predict: In 2029, Kay will inherit an entire fleet of red double decker buses. However due to her cavalier bus schedules, her passengers will revolt and picket outside her bus depot. In a rare moment of rage, Kay will drive into the picketing mob. Noone is hurt but she will be sentenced to 15 years of prison for intent to cause grievous bodily harm. Kay will be let out after a week due to good behaviour and will transform her entire fleet into low cost housing which she will distribute to her almost victims.

I predict: After the birth of her 5th child, at the age of 38, Dew will decide to go into Bollywood movies. Dew will star in her first movie opposite Shah Rukh Khan, and while the movie will recieve critical acclaim, it will flop at the box office due to the audiences' unwillingness to accept an actress named Dew Drops. Dew will leave Bollywood and proceed to have 5 more children and a further 32 grandchildren.

I predict: In 2028, saaleha.com will become so big that Google will feel threatened and launch a technological attack against the hugely popular site, which will lead to the first WWWW (World Wide Web War). saaleha.com will be forced to ally with Microsoft and Yahoo and together they will be able to bring the Google giant to its knees. Not satisfied, saaleha.com will quickly dispatch with Microsoft and Yahoo in their weakened state, and changes the face of the internet forever to this(This is a link).

Till next time in Waseem world.

Friday, 9 January 2009

John & Mary - Wedding Invitation

This is a wedding invitation we received recently. I am still awestruck by its stupidity. The names and details have been changed to protect the dumb, but the rest of it is word for word.

John: Mary, lets fulfill the Sunnat of our Rasoolalah (SAW) and get married.

Mary: Alhamdo- Lilah - Allah has bestowed his blessing upon us. When will this auspicious day be?

John: On Friday, 9th January 2009 at the Piet Retief Hall.

Mary: What time will the Nikah take place?

John: After Asr, 17h45 at the Piet Retief Mosque.

Mary: What time will I meet my guests at the hall?

John: At 17h00.

Mary: What about supper?

John: Supper will be served at 18h30.

Mary: Jazakallah, may Allah bless us on this precious day.

John: Insha Allah Ameen.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Does anyone remember this movie?

It was aired on MNET, during the good old days of KTV holiday movies. It was probably shown in the late 80s, early 90s, but maybe it was actually released before that, cos in those days MNET were not as up to date as they are now.

The movie was about a boy with a magic pencil. The pencil was long, flat and blue, and whatever he drew was able to come to life. The incident I remember was him drawing a rhino. The drawings came to life as drawings, not the actual creature itself, so it was like a piece of wall shaped like a child's representation of a rhino, not an actual rhino. I think the movie was about someone trying to steal the pencil away from him.

I doubt it will be as wonderful as I remember it though, I think when you are younger you tend to hype things up. Like Nightmare on Elm Street when I was younger was the scariest thing in the world. It gave me nightmares for weeks. Yet when I watched it when I was 20ish or so, it seemed so poorly made.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Friday, 2 January 2009

Memes

I got this from Azra, and although I've done this on FB already, I just felt like blogging this as well. Maybe the Meme will lead to inspiration

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you?
Again & Again - Keane (Perfect Symmetry)

Will I have a happy life?
The Cell - Butterfly Effect (dunno album)

What do my friends really think of me?
Attack – 30seconds to Mars (not sure)

What do people secretly think of me?
Fight for life – Soil (not sure again, i should just omit this part)

How can I be happy?
only one– lifehouse (no name face(yay i know one))

What should I do with my life?
Revolution Cry – Lifehouse (i think this is just a b side- not released)

Will I ever have children?
Chapter one – Lifehouse (Lifehouse - is it gay how much lifehouse i have?)

What is some good advice for me?
Walking away – Lifehouse (Lifehouse - damn this winamp, cant you shuffle better)

How will I be remembered?
Mudpie – Lifehouse (No name face - this is getting ridiculous now)

What is my signature dancing song?
The Corner – Staind (The new album whatever its called - this is so true, i dont dance, my signature dancing song would be standing in the corner)

What do I think my current theme song is?
Someones in the wolf - Queens of the stone Age (dunno album, what does this even mean)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
She is – The Fray (How to save a Life - bugger everyone else)

What song will play at my funeral?
Not afraid – Earshot (the first album - ooh nice one)

What type of men/women do you like?
Freak on a leash – Korn (follow the leader - hahaha)

What is my day going to be like?
On a day like today – Keane (dunno album - this is very obscure)

Im not sure if this is supposed to be in order, I didnt put it in order, thats difficult.

4 Places I Go to Over and Over Again
4. KFC
3. Overport City
2. That shop near my house to buy bread
1. Gateway

4 People Who Mail Me Regularly
4. Facebook Application notifications
3. Blogger
2. Zahira - she always got someone looking for lift or apartment or something
1. News...

4 of My Favourite Places to Eat
4. KFC
3. Milky Lane
2. Nandos
1. Spur

4 Places I’d Rather be Now
4. Sleeping
3. Playing xbox
2. Watching a movie
1. Having icecream

4 Favourite TV Shows
4. Whose line is it anyway
3. Malcolm in the middle
2. Simpsons
1. Invader Zim

4 Movies I Could Watch Again and Again
4. Jurassic Park
3. LOTR 2 or 3
2. Anchorman
1. Andaz Apna Apna