Friday, 23 January 2009

Blog Template Predictions

Read and be amazed. Predictions based on blog template readings.

I predict: Inspired by a Chappies wrapper, Nooj's coworkers will send her into space at the age of 35 in a bid to make her taller. While it does work, Nooj will she find that her height returns to normal once she returns back to Earth. Not disheartened she will continue venture out into space, continually growing and then returning back to normal. The frequent space trips will result in Nooj developing a mild dementia, which will lead to an addiction to novocaine. By the age of 40, Nooj will have removed all her teeth and have a huge dental bill.

I predict: In 2019, a first cousin will be indebted to WIP for saving her a huge amount of money, and pay for a complete kitchen makeover, including granite tops. At first WIP will be somewhat bemused but will later enjoy her time in the kitchen, causing a vast amount of flour to seep into her skin, due to too many baking episodes. WIP will be forced to color her hair red to match her much lightened skin tone.

I predict: By the age of 42, Azra will develop a split personality which will lead a complete double life and run for president under the name Anwar. Unfortunately Anwar will lose to a more forceful candidate, which will be Azra and Azra will become the first female president of the New Botswana.

I predict: MJ's life long dream will come true in 2034, when EA buys 5 of his game ideas and he is able to open his own hair salon, complete with Pakistani masseuses. Disaster will strike later on when MJ decides to open a Singstar Karaoke Centre and he chases away most of his customer base with his dreadful singing.

I predict: In 2029, Kay will inherit an entire fleet of red double decker buses. However due to her cavalier bus schedules, her passengers will revolt and picket outside her bus depot. In a rare moment of rage, Kay will drive into the picketing mob. Noone is hurt but she will be sentenced to 15 years of prison for intent to cause grievous bodily harm. Kay will be let out after a week due to good behaviour and will transform her entire fleet into low cost housing which she will distribute to her almost victims.

I predict: After the birth of her 5th child, at the age of 38, Dew will decide to go into Bollywood movies. Dew will star in her first movie opposite Shah Rukh Khan, and while the movie will recieve critical acclaim, it will flop at the box office due to the audiences' unwillingness to accept an actress named Dew Drops. Dew will leave Bollywood and proceed to have 5 more children and a further 32 grandchildren.

I predict: In 2028, saaleha.com will become so big that Google will feel threatened and launch a technological attack against the hugely popular site, which will lead to the first WWWW (World Wide Web War). saaleha.com will be forced to ally with Microsoft and Yahoo and together they will be able to bring the Google giant to its knees. Not satisfied, saaleha.com will quickly dispatch with Microsoft and Yahoo in their weakened state, and changes the face of the internet forever to this(This is a link).

Till next time in Waseem world.

9 comments:

Khadija said...

let out after week! I must be good :P

all aboard!
fantastic post.

Saaleha Bamjee-Mayet said...

Funny, clever boy!

In preparation, I will start using my domain email instead of gmail.
I think we should use one of the Mac shop photos from our blogger meet (the one with the abnormally elongated tongue) to change the face of the internet:)

Saaleha Bamjee-Mayet said...

I predict that in 2029, I will be forced to bankroll Waseem's hair-plug and botox procedures; when he threatens to flood the internet with a video meme depicting my unfortunate Singstar rendition of Zombie.

Work in Progress said...

Oh god, I really don't wanna be a redhead or become domesticated to the point where I like spending time in the kitchen! Any chance u forgot to mention the three letters u c at the end of my name?

These r some interesting predictions :)

M Junaid said...

Hair salons?
well - from an entrepreneurial point of view its a suave business move - high profits, and low running costs.

But seriously - you cut your hair more often than i do :)

I'l do a prediction for you :) but not now - now I need to remove my contact lenses.

M Junaid said...

I predict you and I will go on a boat cruise with our wives in 2015. i'l carry a video game console and we spend the second night gaming. It brings back fond memories of good times before we settled down, and the thought of pushing our spouses overboard appears plausible :)

Nooj said...

hahaha i believe i can fly :)
i'm sure by then they'll find a way of regrowing teeth. but it should be painful like skele-gro. oh well orbiting space for teeth seems a small price

LoL baking epsiodes. Imagine wip the red high heels, the red ferrari, the red office couch, the red team carrying your cappucinos and toasted cheeses. might not be so bad...

aw i can imagine kay in one of those movies where she turns all of the prisoners into sincere souls all wanting "world peace" :)

i predict waseem will quit his job next week after messing up all the servers so that error screens saying thank you please come again in a chinese voice keep coming up every time someone tries to connect, and start a brownie making factory which will cause cinnabon to become bankrupt, and cinnabon manufacturers will try to lure him out of business with a movie deal on his life and he will say not if you put a cream doughnut in my left hand and a jurassic park remake in my right will i ever give up my brownie passion

Azra said...

LOL...a President? Glad to see that one of us is optimistic :)

I'm just hoping that I don't go to prison for road rage in the next few decades :D

I predict that in the year 2031, an aging Waseem will own 3 Cinnabon stores that allow patrons to chill in the corners of his store on huge puffed out bean bags and engage in gaming and karoke wars. The lounging concept will be so successful that overseas investors will solicit Waseems socialist ideals and business acumen by asking him to provide insight and training to the major stores all over the world. Waseems wife will leave him after he has an affair with Kate Hudson at the opening of the store on Sunset Blvd.
Remorseful, Waseem will return to SA, beg his wife to return to him, get tired of the Cinnabon world and will look into bringing the Krispy Kreme franchise to SA on the suggestion of a friend (Azra)...it will be a huge success and all the middle aged bloggers will get free donuts to ward off pending mid-life crises' at future blog meets.

Dew said...

lol, waseem your imagination is striking.

Oof...that many children eh? SRK will be old and hairy by then - how sad.