Tuesday, 21 December 2010

2010 - Year of the World Cup

It has been a tradition on my blog to do a year-end post. So being the lazy person I am, I copied last years one and changed the answers.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Went for a World cup match and did a foofy slide thing, can’t remember what else

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember if I had any, I don't normally do that kinda stuff. I doubt I would in the new year either.

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
Purposefully plan not to do anything cos this New Year’s Eve hype is nonsense

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My cousin was killed in an accident

5. What countries did you visit?
Still 0 countries

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A PS3 and an LED TV :D and hopefully a new(ish) car

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
11 June 2010 – Noorjehaan’s birthday :D and also the opening of the World Cup

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I won an Xbox in a writing competition

9. What was your biggest failure?
I don’t know, I can’t think of anything.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing too serious

11. What was the best thing you bought?
World Cup tickets and spill the beans wrap.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Monthly expense crap

13. What song will always remind you of 2010?
K’Naan – Wave your Flag, not my favorite song but most memory inducing

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Travelling but didn’t have money to.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Work :D

16. What was your favourite TV program?
Flight of the Conchords!

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t think I hate people. People have annoyed me and made me angry, like my cousins but I don’t hate them. Maybe Roy Hodgson!

18. What was the best book you read?
Nothing sticks out, I need to read my books at home

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Fanfarlo, Mumford and Sons and Civil Twilight

20. What was your favourite film of this year?
Inception but I really enjoyed Scott Pilgrim as well

21. What did you do on your birthday?
Watched Clash of the Titans. Worst movie of the year!

22. What kept you sane?
Friends (not the sitcom)

23. Who did you miss?
I rather not get into this one

24. Who was the best new person you met?
I’ve met a lot of new people over the year so I don’t think it’s right to single someone out like it is a popularity concert.

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010
Rainbow Chicken is halaal/haraam/halaal/haraam etc. ad nauseum.

Till next time in Waseem world

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

War against Lesotho

Nafisa recently got this weird mail, which she showed to me, and with her permission, I decided to satire it in an Agony Aunt Style. Apologies for the caps in the mail but this is exactly how Nafisa received the email.

-----

I AM A CONCERNED PARENT OF A TWELVE YEAR OLD WHO IS SECRETLY USING
MXIT DESPITE BEING CAUGHT AND REPRIMANDED TWICE.
I AM NOT SO CLUED UP ABOUT MXIT BUT I AM LOOKING AT THE DANGER SIGNS
OF IT AS HE IS DOING THIS SO SECRETLY –HAS HAD FOUR SIM CARDS –THREE
OF WHICH I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THEY BELONG TO OR WHO RIKA’D THEM.
I HAVE COME ACROSS A COMMON USER NAME THOUGH & I WONDER IF THIS
IS SUFFICIENT TO OPEN UP A PROFILE & SEE IF HE IS USING FALSE IDENTIFICATION
OR INFORMATION ABOUT HIMSELF .
PLEASE ADVISE ME


Dear Concerned Parent,
Thank you for bringing your suspicions to our attention. We know that it must have been quite difficult for you to come forward with such damning evidence against your son. We are sorry to inform you that it appears your son is a traitor to our country and is involved in selling state secrets to Lesotho.

Lesotho have grown tired of their landlocked status and wish to invade our beautiful country and are using children on Mxit to achieve this evil (except to people from Lesotho) task. Your son has been given the SIM cards by the Lesotho government which have NOT been Rica’d, which, in conjunction with charges of treason, makes your son a criminal for using unRica’d SIM cards.

Your mission, Mrs. Concerned Parent, if you choose to accept it, is to serve your country and disable the terrorist cell living in your own home. Taking away his phone would not be sufficient, as knowing the wiles of the Lesotho Special ‘Attack South Africa’ Task Force (LSASATF), would only lead to tipping off your son’s heinous (except to people from Lesotho) employers and put the rest of your family at risk. In fact if the LSASATF have been tracking your emails, you might already be under threat. The only real solution we have, Mrs. Concerned Parent, is to poison his cereal and strike a blow for the righteous in the war against Lesotho.

Thank you Mrs. Concerned Parent, our country needs more citizens of your ilk.

-----

Till next time in Waseem world.

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Favestar

I don’t do follow Fridays. I don’t see a need for them. I usually retweet people who I think are cool or funny or insightful. So this post isn’t a long ass follow Friday yet it kinda is. Thohira aka @taineechan told me about this Cosmopolitan kings photoshoot, which is basically South Africa’s top male tweeters, which included Gareth Cliff, Khaya Dhlanga and that Aki Anastasou guy. I don’t follow any of them. I see some retweets of theirs occasionally but I don’t follow them because I don’t find their tweets interesting. So I told Thohira that I follow cooler SA tweeters that should be there rather, so I will make my own list. I don’t want to call it Cosmopolitan Kings or COSKings cos that sounds kinda gay.

Here is a list of 3 of my most favorite SA male tweeters and SA female tweeters.
1. @parasputin – Ok he doesn’t live in SA now, but he did before so I think it still counts. I find his tweets funny usually. And my favorite moment on twitter was when he and I and a group of others #dragonaged the crap out of our twitter feeds.
2. @mirfaan – he always posts quality links dubbed #irfaansizzle and he also throws in a great pun now and again
3. @concerningmj – I’m not sure if anyone can say what the point of twitter is.
It might change from person to person, but I think he and I see twitter in the same way. Although I think he does dilute the humor occasionally due to posting his tweets on facebook all the time. I suppose broader audience and all that.

Here are my top 3 female, this was a bit harder to choose cos there really are a lot more good female tweeters than there are male, that I have found anyway.
1. @noorjehaan – I think she tweets in the same way that she chats, and I find her tweets funny and relatable. She has a way of eloquently wording my thoughts lately with her gay poetry.
2. @testcardf – she is very punny and also at times I think way over my head but I find her tweets entertaining.
3. @corpsekicker – It was hard to choose just 3(I know it’s stupid that I’m complaining considering I set my own rules) cos there a lot of female tweeters that I enjoy including @fathazz, @saaleha, @nafisa1 and @khadijapatel but I think @corpsekicker is the person I retweet the most, and she throws in the odd programming joke which I’m sure goes over most of her followers’ heads.

So that’s my list, direct your complaints to my comment page and leave a few of your recommendations as well.

Till next time in Waseem World.

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Stuff Charous Like

You must have heard of Stuff White People Like. It is an immensely popular blog about stuff white people like and the guy even published a book full of them that was on the New York best-seller list, whatever that means. I thought I would do some about the stuff charous like. Charous if you do not know is a slang/colloquial term used for Indian people in South Africa. It is not an offensive term, as far as I am concerned, but maybe some touchy Indians would find it so. I used the term 'charous' specifically due to the fact I think that the stuff is mostly common with South African Indians, specifically Durban Indians.

StuffCharousLike #1 - Gold Slits/Teeth
I am convinced gold slits and gold teeth were invented for charous. The only other race group I've seen with gold slits/teeth are coloured guys and they usually grew up in an area with a large charou influence. I think some charous might even loosen their own teeth so they are able to adorn their cavities with gold.

StuffCharousLike #2 - Buying cheap cars they can do up
Every charou’s favorite car is the Citi Golf because it is usually cheap and then they can spend obscene amounts of money; sometimes triple the value of the car, just doing it up. Putting decals, funny light things all over the place, chrome gear knobs etc. This is not only reserved to Citi Golf and is also common with Conquests, Ballades and, every charou’s dream, the Subaru.

StuffCharousLike #3 - Putting sound in their car
This would also fall under doing up their cars but this is such an event, it deserves an entry of its own. Every charou wants his car to be fast and to impress ‘stekkies’ with a few revs at the traffic light but the one thing every charou must have more than speed is the sound. In fact, as far as the charou is concerned, the car boot is the place you put your sub in. And the reason they call it sound is because all it is just sounds, not music. Charous could care less about music, all they care about is how much bass and treble a song got so they can show it off on their sound system.

StuffCharousLike #4 - Working in call centers
I actually work in a company whose core business is a call centre. So I see a lot of sales agents and people who come in to train to become sales agents. 99% of them are charous.

StuffCharousLike #5 – Personalized Number plates
To the charou the greatest invention since sliced bread was the personalized number plate. If a charou can afford it he will have a personalized number plate, no matter the fact the car is about 30 years old and the personalized number plate costs about 20% of the value of the car itself. If a charou cannot afford a personalized number plate, he will get a fake plastic one and put it in the back windscreen, next to his gold tissue box.

StuffCharousLike #6 – Medical Aid
The reason charous like medical aid is not because it makes health care affordable, it is because it allows them to get sunglasses and cosmetic contact lenses. Charous love cosmetic contact lenses, regardless of the fact the lens color does not suit them. I am also convinced that pharmacies keep grocery items due to the fact charous use medical aid to shop there.

StuffCharousLike #7 – Boasting about ridiculous bargain they attained
I am not questioning charous’ honesty (though it is questionable at times), but they do have a knack for stretching the truth. Charous tend to boast about ridiculous bargains,e.g. An LED TV for R2000, they happened upon but never reveal their sources or make it seem like it was a once in a lifetime kinda thing.

I have a few more but this post is getting a bit too long so maybe I will do a second part.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Monday, 30 August 2010

Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon

Have you heard of the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon? If you have, then that in itself is the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. If you haven't then, perhaps you will hear about it again soon. The Baader-Meinhof is when you learn some obscure bit of trivia and soon afterward you hear the bit of trivia again. E.g. the other day my friend Delon had a trivia question on twitter asking what the god particle was also known as. I said antimatter as per Angels and Demons. But he sent me a wikipedia article and it is actually known in science terms as the Higgs Boson particle. Almost a minute after the Onion's joke horoscope for Hamza as a Gemini was "You should really try to live your life so that your happiness doesn't depend so much on whether or not they find the Higgs boson particle." That's what you call Baader-Meinhoff phenomenon. I have actually been keeping an eye out on this for a while now and seems to be true. Every time I learn something new, I am confronted with that bit of information shortly after. For the record, I don’t believe or follow horoscopes religiously; I just read them for comedic value.

To summarise the article that I read, our brains have a “prejudice towards patterns”, which cause it [the brain] “to lend excessive importance to unremarkable events”. The article even says that coincidences themselves are perceived due to this prejudice and “we underestimate the probability of coinciding events, so our expectations are at odds with reality”.

I find all these psychological phenomena quite fascinating, and spend lots of time procrastinating over the discovery of another. To coin a phrase, “Brain stimulation is nice.”

Till next time in Waseem world.

Thursday, 12 August 2010

Ramadaan E-Cards 3

So it is Ramadaan again, and as has become tradition on my blog, I did a few e-cards to mark the occasion.








This one was inspired by Corpsekicker's tweet.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

It’s Hard For Me To Ask for Maaf

I dedicate this post to Saaleha and MJ for their hilarious statuses on Maaf

It’s Hard For Me To Ask for Maaf
Everybody needs a little sawaab today
I've heard her say
one sms after another

Even though we barely speak today oooh
we need forgiveness from each other

SMS me now
It's hard for me to ask for maaf (except on big night)
I just want you to say
And after all that we've been through
I will sms back to you
I forgive you, maybe

And after all that’s been said and done
What I’ve done to you, I don’t really know

ooooh bup bup bup bup

Can’t remember but I sent it anyway
Not even what day
or what I did say
Wouldn't want big night to go away awaaaaaaaay
without forwarding an sms to all the people I know

SMS me now
It's hard for me to ask for maaf (except on big night)
I just want you to know
SMS me now
I really want to ask you for maaf (cos it’s big night)
What I’ve done I don’t even know

And after all that we've been through
I just want you to know
I forgive you (cos it’s big night)

And after all that's been said and done
What you’ve done to me, I don’t really know

I’m outta airtime.
Adapted from Hard to say I’m sorry by Az-Yet

Till next time in Waseem world.

Thursday, 1 July 2010

Cause I Got ...

To the tune of Afroman’s Cause I Got High. The first two aren't very timeous.

Benni McCarthy
I was going to be part of the Bafana squad, but then I got fat
I was going to win the golden boot, but then I got fat
Now I’m watching the World Cup from my sofa, and I know why
Cause I got fat
Cause I got fat
Cause I got fat

Robert Green
I was going to be England’s No1, but then I slipped up
I was going to keep clean sheets, but then I slipped up
Now they’re playing Old Father Time instead of me and I know why
Cause I slipped up
Cause I slipped up
Cause I slipped up

Sani Keita
We were going to beat Greece, but I got sent off
We were going to finish runners-up, but I got sent off
Now they disbanded the national team and I know why
Cause I got sent off
Cause I got sent off
Cause I got sent off

Frank Lampard
We were going to win the World Cup, but the ref was blind
I scored a goal and it was disallowed, cos the ref was blind
Now we’re back in London, and we know why
Cause England were crap
Cause England were crap
Cause England were crap

Till next time in Waseem world.

Friday, 11 June 2010

World Cup Preview

I am nothing more than an armchair coach and most of my knowledge was garnered playing Football/Championship Manager but I would still like to think I know more than etv’s panel of ‘experts’ as well as anyone who has ever watched a football/soccer game. Here are my predictions based on my limited knowledge.

South Africa
There is a lot of hysteria going around due to the fact of us being hosts and people shouting out “We are going to win the World Cup” all over Facebook and Twitter, but let’s face it, there is no way that is happening. Not being pessimistic, and unpatriotic, just realistic. I have a new found belief that we could reach the second round but not much beyond that. For us to make it to the second round, it is crucial to get a result against Mexico today and for all the other teams to take points of each other. The other teams are quite tough and I see Uruguay as the team winning our group and a 3 way fight for second between us, France and Mexico.

African Teams
This is the first World Cup that there are 6 African teams and many people feel it crucial that the African teams perform well collectively in order to allow 6 African teams for every World Cup. There are currently just 5 African teams allowed to qualify, with South Africa only qualifying for virtue of being a host. Based on the talent and number of countries in Africa, it makes little sense to have that few places, while the Concacaf(Mexico, USA etc.) region have 3 and a half places (a playoff place as well) based on their level of interest. The problem however is that every team has a tough draw based on the fact they are not seeded. The only teams I see making it to the second round, based on the groups are Nigeria, Cameroon and, hopefully, South Africa. I do not think this will be enough to convince the powers that be.

The Contenders
The teams I think, based on squads and ability, that have the best chance of winning the World Cup are Spain, Netherlands, Argentina and Brazil. Spain has the best squad available, with top drawer players in each position with quality back up as well, so they are my tips to win.

There is little under 4 hours to go for kick off of the greatest game on earth, and I hope we host the best World Cup ever and whether Bafana Bafana progress or not, we as a country are successful in proving the world wrong.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Jobs vs Gates

Nafisa showed me this link of Jobs Vs Gates comics. It's kinda similar to the Kanye interrupt thing, so I decided to do a few. If you would like to do some, there is a template on the link to the site. I dedicate this post to Nafisa, who encouraged me to enter the IE competition where I recently won an Xbox. Here's a link to my entry. She was also recently made editor of MyDL so she is pretty awesome. Click on the images if they are too small.






Till next time in Waseem world.

Thursday, 13 May 2010

One month too late

I saw this Batman pic generating thing, and this was the first thing that came to mind.


Till next time in Waseem world.

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Twitter Trending Topics

I got this idea from Azra's tweet - The world can be falling apart and Justin Bieber will still be the top trending topic. #TwitterBug Stupid #Followers

What the Twitter Trending Topics will look like on the day when the world comes to an end.



Till next time in Waseem world.

Monday, 10 May 2010

Not Bruges

I finally watched In Bruges. People have told me it's better than Up In The Air, Hurt Locker and even Inglorious Basterds. They were wrong. I haven't seen Hurt Locker though so maybe they are right about that one. It was a good movie but not great. The start was really boring, and the movie really only picked up towards the end. The dialogue was great but not as good as Up In The Air's. In fact, if it weren't for Ralph Fiennes, the movie would have just been above average.

The one thing the movie did get me thinking about though was that Ralph Fiennes character sent Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson to Bruges as a final treat for Colin Farrell before his death. I think he figured Colin Farrell would like dying in a "fairytale town." I wondered to myself where I would like to go to, to die. A very morbid topic perhaps, but I don't have a fear of death itself as such. Well the one thing Colin Farrell's character and I have in common is that it was definitely not Bruges. I think I would like it to be somewhere scenic and serene. After the recent volcanic pictures, Iceland seems to fit that bill to my mind. So at the moment, if I knew I were going to die I would go to Iceland. What a happy thought :P

Till next time in Waseem world.

Friday, 16 April 2010

Birthday Cake

When I was in school, we used to buy chocolates for the other kids in class whenever it was our birthdays. It was some kind of unwritten rule. I don't think everyone followed it, but most. The other unwritten rule was that the teacher got a slab of chocolate. I have no idea why. What warrants the teacher getting better/bigger chocolate? I always gave easter eggs due to when my birthday fell so I grew a bit sick of easter eggs. I still am.

Now that I'm older and in the working world, there is the (often forgotten) unwritten rule that you bring cake on your birthday. This can be very expensive especially if you work in a big office. You have to hope for a good few diabetics. Hamza told me that in his office people go crazy for cake. At the slightest mention of the word, people are galloping down hallways looking to guzzle down the confectionery. I imagine a crazed crowd going 'Caaaake!' 'Caaaake!' People just love free food.

CAAKE!!!CAAKE!!!

The thing I don't understand is, it is your birthday, why do you have to be the one to buy the cake? I mean I understand in school, it's not feasible for children to pitch in to buy you a cake/chocolate, but at work it is. I have brought in cake however so I have fulfilled my part of it. These mutha'uckers at work better fulfill theirs when their turn comes.

Till next time in Waseem world

Friday, 26 March 2010

Non-Tweetworthy

Everybody and their cousin are now on Twitter. (Please don’t comment and say, I’m not on Twitter and neither is my cousin. That is just an expression.) It seems Twitter has survived the test of time and overcome being a fad and firmly ensconced itself in people’s lives as a habit. However most people seem to have the same problem that some people with blogs have, and that is distinguishing what is tweetworthy (blogworthy, in the case of blogs) and what is not. Obviously your Twitter profile (as well as your blog) is your own, and you have the right to do what you want, but there is such a thing as common sense.

Here are a few things I think that aren’t tweetworthy.

TMI Tweets
Stuff like ‘OMG I just farted and it smelt like KFC 4 minutes ago’, we really don’t need to know that. We don’t need to know about any of your bodily functions, thanks.

Hypocritical Tweets
I’m totally in love with that Owl City song. 5 days ago
Whoever loves that owl city song is a loser. 2 minutes ago

Firstly, you have to realize people are going to remember stuff that you tweet as well as the fact it is saved on your profile, and contradicting the stuff you said just makes you a hypocritical asshole. Also, that Owl City song is gay.

Sensationalist Tweets
I just totally knocked some chick now. 3 minutes ago
The only thing tweets like these prove is that you are an attention seeker and nothing you say/tweet can be trusted.

Reply to All Tweets
Can I come too? RT @someone I’m going to the movies now! 1 minute ago
This is the equivalent of replying to all when people send forward mails. People hate that. Rather just @ or DM the person concerned.

Location Tweets
I am outside my house at 3 Madeup Place Road Madeup City 3 minutes ago
This is just common sense; don’t give away where you are in tweets for your own safety. There are a lot of crazy people on the internet. I don’t really see a point to doing this either.

Formspring Tweets
I don’t mind a formspring question and answer here and there but every single question and answer is spamming, especially if you are answering 20 questions a time.

This is just a lesson in common sense and some advice. Use it, don’t use it, it is up to you. The tweets in the post are made up but are not a far cry from actual tweets I have seen.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Friday, 19 March 2010

Metronomy - Thing for me

A Thing For Me from Metronomy on Vimeo.



I am so in love with this video and this song that it is a bit concerning. I must have listened to this song at least 8 times today and watched the video about 4 times, and I rarely ever set songs on repeat. Please someone tell me that this song is very catchy and my insanity is warranted. The dark haired girl is really hot too.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Are Dentists Sadists?

From around 8-10 years old, I wanted to become a dentist when I grew up. Mostly because my cousin was a dentist and he had a beautiful wife and was quite successful. (I also wanted to be a director or a writer but I didn't have a suitable role model for that.) This all changed when I was 11.

At 11, I got braces. The worst experience of my life. Even to put in the braces, I had to suffer multiple extractions (4 teeth), because they were milk teeth. And over the course of the 4 years I had them, I lost every semblance of self confidence that I had. I don't think braces were as common as they are now, so they still had that loser stigma. At one point my orthodontist even told me I had to wear headgear, that was a step too far for me and I refused to wear it. The experience ended with a retainer, marks on my teeth and marks on my very soul. I despised orthodontists, dentists and even dental hygienists were not spared from my despising. I have been self conscious about my teeth ever since.

After the braces, every visit to the dentist was abhorred, even though, most of the time, I was going to my cousin. The suction thing sometimes sucking out my air and choking on my own blood were not my favorite things to do. My dentist visits were sporadic and only done under mild protest. My last dentist visit (until the one yesterday) was in 2004, due to the fact I was about to turn 21 and was going to be taken off my father's medical aid. I left the dentist's room with my mouth numb with Novocaine and my heart filled with hatred for dentistry.

Over the following years I heard many horror stories of root canals and wisdom teeth removal and this frightened me more and steeled my resolve over not wanting to go to the dentist. If I just brush properly my teeth will be fine, I told myself. But years of overindulging in sweet stuff eventually caught up to me and yesterday I grudgingly went to the dentist.

As soon as we got to the dentist, I heard a girl screaming in pain. Not a great start. I was surprised that the person who came out into the waiting room was a woman in her early 30s and she was whimpering like she had just been put to torture. I heard the dentist say she doesn't even get small children who behave that way. I was afraid of giving her a repeat performance. Panic started to slowly set in. My sister went first, while I considered worst case scenarios. Root Canal, wisdom removal, extractions, and, most frighteningly, braces seemed like sureties rather than possibilities at that point. A feeling of dread washed over me when my time on the chair finally arrived.

When I sat down, I just thought to myself, bugger this, I am 26 years old, I need to man up and prepared for the worst. Fortunately it was anti-climactic as it was over in about 10 minutes and the worst thing that happened was that my gums bled. I even realised that while the suction sucked out my air, I could easily breathe through my nose. The dentist was very pleasant and gave me a break every few minutes to rinse out my mouth.

So to the question in the title, are dentists sadists? Probably, but you can get lucky sometimes.

This post wasn't as funny as my usual stuff if you wanna read a really funny dentist post read this - *Zweee*

Till next time in Waseem world.

Monday, 8 February 2010

Yet another cool tag thing

I got this from a Facebook note of Nafisa's, and you haven't seen hers it is probably that you are not her Facebook friend and she does not like you.

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
I was going to say Beyonce but Nafisa already said that so just to be different I will say Lady Gaga.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
If Black Eyed Peas can be considered a band, them, otherwise (Sorry Salma) Nickelback

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Wow this is a bit violent, hmm ... Gary Neville (He plays for Man United and is a total knob)

4. What is your favorite cheese?
I don't particularly like cheese, just melted cheese in pizza and pasta and stuff, so i guess Mozzarella

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
Skippy ultra smooth peanut butter and butter, that is my favorite, if nothing else is left kind of food.

6. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Jordan, to go see Petra, I have always wanted to see that place.

7. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover a hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
I don't know what is available to purchase there, maybe some souvenir thing, and get something to eat with the change.

8. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
You don't talk about Fight Club :D Just kidding, there won't be a Fight Club (or maybe that's what I want you to believe). There are 3 things I despise about human society i.e. lying, selfishness and greed, if I could only outlaw one of those things, I would go for greed. Greed is forbidden for those who do not wish to suffer a most painful death.

9. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?
Screw my own design, I would bring back Invader Zim. If I can't then I will make it a show where there a group of hunters who hunt and kill all those people who bring their drama stories to American Idol, Whatever got Talent etc. I can't stand those people.

10. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?
Vegetable Man! I always liked the powers of flight even in the face of cooler powers or maybe Nightcrawler's teleportation power.

Till next time in Waseem world

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

What if Romeo and Juliet were Mxiters

I was going to include the bits of the play I transcribe also, to give it context as well as the fact I don't remember the lines from the play except something about light yonder window breaks but that would take too long, if anyone wants to read the play you can click here.

Side Note: I forgot how tiresome Shakespeare can be, besides Hamlet, Hamlet rocked.


Romeo: Sup mwah

Juliet: nm lol mwah

Romeo: Sup mwah, I got ur pic, u look hot lol

Juliet: Yay me lol

Romeo: Lol say something else

Juliet: Romeo, Romeo, r u there?

Romeo: Sorry, dc lol

Juliet: lol ok, I like ur pic too mwah, and u sweet but ur name is doff lol (She actually says Romeo, doff thy name)

Romeo: lol ok my bras call me Ro, u can call me that, but call me on my cell, cos I dont have airtime lol

Juliet: lol ok, btw where did u get my number?

Romeo: lol, one two contacts ;)

Juliet: No for real how u got my number, r u Romeo from Asoka?

Romeo: Maybe ;) Why what's ur waar now? I thought u smaaked me.

Juliet: If my brus found out about they will work you lol

Romeo: El, im not skrik for noone, i vy gym and got one two bras who drive taxis

Juliet: lol dont worry i wont tell them.

Romeo: Shoo, but waar I wasnt skrik, mwah

Juliet: So for waar you smaak me? Say oath!

Romeo: Sathima I smaak you

Juliet: no dont say sathima, I dont believe in all that. Say oath!

Romeo: Ok oath! can we cyber now? lol

Juliet: lol no! I have to vy now ;)(She actually says something about breasts but I'm trying to keep this relatively clean)

Romeo: el, u just vying like that (Romeo actually says O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?)

Juliet: Lol, what u want? I only cyber guys if i marry them. Will u marry me?

Romeo dcs

______________________________

Ok there's more to it but it was getting a bit much, I hope it is a bit funny, I haven't done a parody in a while, I'm a bit rusty.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Sometimes reality is funnier than fiction


Click the image if you can't see the writing under the number clearly.
It says 'Make sure your next erection is in safe hands'


I saw this van on the way home from dropping my father off at dialysis this morning. I'm not sure if this is intentional or not. It's funny either way.

Till next time in Waseem world

Monday, 11 January 2010

Motivational Posters

Motivational posters have over the past couple years dominated theInternet and drained the brain cells of many a casual link presser. Nowadays they've changed man, they used to be about the motivation. Now they are not much but a pic caption thing. In true ironic Waseem world style, (cos if Waseem world had a style it would be ironic) I have a motivational poster that is not motivational, so a pic caption thing, I just made about 5 mins ago after I saw this pic Hamza linked to me and I said I'm surprised there isn't a motivational poster.

So here is my first ever pic caption thing, and I will call it a motivational poster no longer.


Till next time in Waseem world.

Monday, 4 January 2010

2009, a year better forgotten

I haven't blogged much lately. I seem to have lost the desire to write, even though I have ideas of stuff to write. This meme/tag stuff is much easier to do cos you have questions to answer as opposed to composing an entire post with all the punctuation and structure that entails. Sure I could write some haphazard halfassed post I'm not proud of, but I feel, especially when it comes to writing, when you do something, do it right. This is a tag/meme thing I got of Nafisa's blog that I found pretty interesting.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Went for a rock concert. Yes I know I'm lame for taking so long to go for one, but for some reason every other time I planned to go for one things didnt work out

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember if I had any, I don't normally do that kinda stuff. I think it's better not to set resolutions and deadlines on yourself to accomplish goals. I'm a procrastinator though, so I wouldn't take my advice.

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
This is past tense. I went to the souk for a bit, which was as lousy as usual. Then we dropped my cousin off somewhere and went home and played Modern Warfare 2. I'm trying to get over this New Year's hype, but that's a discussion for another day.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Michael Jackson. Just kidding, no, not really.

5. What countries did you visit?
0, hopefully I will eventually visit some

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Commitment to doing the stuff that I have to do

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
No date really stands out, I can't seem to remember anything important happening

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting a new job and getting away from my last job cos it was really sucky for me. I enjoy this job much more. I'm not sure if that is an achievement, I can't think of anything else unless I can put down Xbox360 achievements.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Procrastinating on the things I needed to do. Failing to wake up sooner.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope, just flu a couple of times.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A pillowcase with Keane lyrics on it as a gift for a friend.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Groceries and stuff I think, I don't keep record of this stuff.

13. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Muse - Uprising.

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Stuff that I needed to do.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Self chastising

16. What was your favourite TV program?
South Park

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is too severe, there as some people that I dislike more than I did before, but not hate. I think hate requires effort, apathy is so much easier and less messy.

18. What was the best book you read?
Terry Pratchett - Monstrous Regiment. It came out a while back but I only read it this year.

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The best new artist I heard this year was Doves.

20. What was your favourite film of this year?
I really liked Up

21. What did you do on your birthday?
I went to work and had supper at Spur with friends.

22. What kept you sane?
Xbox360

23. Who did you miss?
I missed my youth, if that is a sufficient answer to this question. Not that I'm haggardly old now.

24. Who was the best new person you met?
The guys I work with are ok, nothing to write home about. I did get to know a few people alot better over last year (over chatting mostly)

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Weddings can be very expensive.

That sums up most of last year, it wasn't particularly spectacular. It was a pretty lousy year for me personally. That was largely my fault though, because your life is what you make of it, if you're having a swak day/week/month/year, it's up to you to change it instead of sitting around and moping about it. I guess we can add that on to valuable life lesson also.

Till next time in Waseem world