Wednesday, 8 December 2010

War against Lesotho

Nafisa recently got this weird mail, which she showed to me, and with her permission, I decided to satire it in an Agony Aunt Style. Apologies for the caps in the mail but this is exactly how Nafisa received the email.

-----

I AM A CONCERNED PARENT OF A TWELVE YEAR OLD WHO IS SECRETLY USING
MXIT DESPITE BEING CAUGHT AND REPRIMANDED TWICE.
I AM NOT SO CLUED UP ABOUT MXIT BUT I AM LOOKING AT THE DANGER SIGNS
OF IT AS HE IS DOING THIS SO SECRETLY –HAS HAD FOUR SIM CARDS –THREE
OF WHICH I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THEY BELONG TO OR WHO RIKA’D THEM.
I HAVE COME ACROSS A COMMON USER NAME THOUGH & I WONDER IF THIS
IS SUFFICIENT TO OPEN UP A PROFILE & SEE IF HE IS USING FALSE IDENTIFICATION
OR INFORMATION ABOUT HIMSELF .
PLEASE ADVISE ME


Dear Concerned Parent,
Thank you for bringing your suspicions to our attention. We know that it must have been quite difficult for you to come forward with such damning evidence against your son. We are sorry to inform you that it appears your son is a traitor to our country and is involved in selling state secrets to Lesotho.

Lesotho have grown tired of their landlocked status and wish to invade our beautiful country and are using children on Mxit to achieve this evil (except to people from Lesotho) task. Your son has been given the SIM cards by the Lesotho government which have NOT been Rica’d, which, in conjunction with charges of treason, makes your son a criminal for using unRica’d SIM cards.

Your mission, Mrs. Concerned Parent, if you choose to accept it, is to serve your country and disable the terrorist cell living in your own home. Taking away his phone would not be sufficient, as knowing the wiles of the Lesotho Special ‘Attack South Africa’ Task Force (LSASATF), would only lead to tipping off your son’s heinous (except to people from Lesotho) employers and put the rest of your family at risk. In fact if the LSASATF have been tracking your emails, you might already be under threat. The only real solution we have, Mrs. Concerned Parent, is to poison his cereal and strike a blow for the righteous in the war against Lesotho.

Thank you Mrs. Concerned Parent, our country needs more citizens of your ilk.

-----

Till next time in Waseem world.

No comments: