Monday, 16 May 2011

Friday

It’s been a while since I did a parody post, so might be a bit rusty. This is a parody of Rebecca Black’s Friday, and if you haven’t heard of it then you have probably been living in a cellar. I dedicate this post to MJ because he’s the only one I know who likes it, and Hamza because he was rocking out to it long before it even had 2 million views. This meant to be done on Friday but Blogger was down.

11 a.m., waking up in the morning
Got to be fresh, got to make ghusl
Got to wear my kurtah, got to wear athar
Seeing everything, the time is going
Ticking on and on, everybody’s rushing
Got to get down to the mosque
Got to make my wudhu, I see my friends (my friends)

Kicking in the front saff
Sitting in the back saff
Got to make my mind up
Which saff can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday
Got to bow down on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the kutbah, kutbah
Friday, Friday
Bowing down on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the kutbah

Praying and praying (yeah)
Praying and praying (yeah)
Azaan, Azaan, Azaan, Azaan
Looking forward to the kutbah

12:15, we’re driving on the highway
Cruising so fast, I want time to fly
Azaan, Azaan, think I hear Azaan
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My angel is by my right
I got this, you got this
Now you know it

Kicking in the front saff
Sitting in the back saff
Got to make my mind up
Which saff can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday
Got to bow down on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the kutbah, kutbah
Friday, Friday
Bowing down on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the kutbah

Praying and praying (yeah)
Praying and praying (yeah)
Azaan, Azaan, Azaan, Azaan
Looking forward to the kutbah

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today is Friday, Friday (praying)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We going to have dhall today

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes afterwards
I don’t want this kutbah to end

Till next time in Waseem world

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Women Presidents

I think that maybe it is time there were more women in power, because they can’t possibly do a worse job than the men are currently doing. Actually I believe there isn’t much one person can do in today’s political structures but this not the road I want to take this post down; neither do I have the political nous to back that statement up. Here are a few women, who I think might make great presidents, and some possible pitfalls in their campaigns.

Khadija Patel
Why she would make a great president: Khadija Patel is like a real life celebrity, and I went to her house! One day, they are going to show her house on Cribs. Khadija is so famous that this is likely conversation. Person A: Khadija Patel just tweeted something about Jacob Zuma. Person B: Who’s Jacob Zuma? Besides her fame, Khadija is also one of the smartest and caring people that I know, although I’m not sure those are criteria presidents usually satisfy. They should, in my opinion.

Why she shouldn’t be president: Khadija spreads herself too thin as she is always doing millions of things at once. Allah only knows how she gets everything done. She would probably be sworn in as Minister of every portfolio because there is no one better qualified and burn herself out.

Noorjehaan
Why she would be a great president: I don’t know anyone who can champion a cause as passionately and ardently as Noorjehaan does. She is someone who I think people would find easy to believe in and support.

Why she shouldn’t be president: If Noorjehaan were president, she would take the budget and give 95% of it to Education and 5% to charity. She would also reshape the entire education so that is unrecognisable, which although im my opinion not a bad thing would be quite a culture shock to the country.

Azra
Why she would be a great president: Azra seems to me to be a very opinionated, strong-willed and determined person. If she were president she would make every month a new challenge for each Ministerial department to clean up their act.

Why she shouldn’t be president: I think if Azra became president, the tenure would be most remembered for “cruel and unusual punishments”

*rah
Why she would be a great president: *rah is the smartest person I know, she knows just about everything there is to know about everything. If I went on “Who wants to be a millionaire?” she would be my “phone a friend” for all categories besides perhaps sport.

Why she shouldn’t be president: If *rah became president she will lead a genocide against all the stupid people and based on the sample size of people I know, that is about 80% of the population. She would then lead the survivors against the rest of the world’s stupid until stupidity was extinct.

Bibi Aisha
Why she would make a great president: Bibi has had a lot of exposure to all the different kinds of government and would bring that awareness to her tenure. I also think she has the most political smarts of the people I know to actually be able to pull off a presidency.

Why she shouldn’t be president: Bibi would be very Thabo Mbeki-ish in that she will be going all over the place on diplomatic missions, and would hardly be in the country, though I bet she would be more sensible about AIDS.

Till next time in Waseem world.