The ever great Waseem

At The Movies 2011

2012-01-06T12:11:00.002+02:00

I'm going to do my own annual best movie list thing that I always do (if anyone still reads this blog).

Best animated movie

I was thinking about Tintin, but I enjoyed Rango more

Worst Animated Movie

When did Tangled come out? I put that one on for about 10 mins and I was like I'm over this

Best Comic Book Movie

Was between Thor and Xmen, but Xmen was kinda disappointing to me so I vote Thor

Best Adaptation

Game of Thrones (So much cheating)

Best movie most people will overlook

30 minutes or less, I found this movie very funny

Crappiest Sequel

Transformers

Best Movie experience

Rango, fun to say it as Rrrrango

Biggest movie that's not in my list except here just to point out that it didn't win anything

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Best Sequel

Sherlock Holmes, even though I haven't seen it yet, this is how confident I am

Most surprisingly awesome

Harry Potter, the last one, I was surprised cos I didn't expect to enjoy it, maybe it's the fact that it is the last one

Worst movie MJ picked

Even though we didn't see it together, he recommended it to me, Just Go With It

Best Comedy

30 Minutes or less

Biggest disappointment

Nicholas Cage is still making movies

Worst Adaptation

Transformers

Worst Movie

Transformers

Movie of the Year

Crazy Stupid Love

The Even Megan Fox is a better actress than you so you should be ashamed award for crap acting

That chick from Transformers, horrendous 'acting'

Till next time in Waseem world

Unnecessary Censorship In Movies

2011-12-02T16:58:00.003+02:00

I saw this video recently called ‘Unnecessary Censorship in Skyrim’, if you don’t know Skyrim, it is tis massive RPG and basically overtaken people’s lives, mine included. The video itself just bleeps out innocent words to make it seem like a swearword, so my blogging idea was to do the same to famous movie quotes. I got the movie quotes from a wiki article ‘AFI’s 100 years ...100 movie quotes’. (I still haven’t given Jimmy Wales any money, he can :( all he wants on Wikipedia)

"I love the smell of @#*! in the morning."

"A census taker once tried to @#*! me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

"Show me the @#*!!"

"I am big! It's the @#*! that got small."

"You know how to @#*!, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow."

"If you @#*! it, he will come."

"We'll always @#*! Paris."

"I @#*! dead people."

"You had me at '@#*!'"

"I have always depended on the @#*! of strangers."

"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are @#*! to death!"

"My mother @#*! you. My father @#*! you. My sister @#*! you. And I @#*! you."

"Nobody @#*! Baby in a corner."

"I'll @#*! you, my pretty, and your little dog too!"

I didn’t know some of these quotes, but they worked well for my purpose.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Social Media Slump

2011-11-02T11:43:00.001+02:00

Lately I've found myself getting over social media, namely Twitter and Facebook, but really what else is there. The reason I believe this is due to overexposure to what people are thinking and feeling and even the aspects of Twitter and Facebook I found appealing are now beginning to grate. I'll give you a few examples of things on Twitter and Facebook that are becoming annoying:-

- I like jokes on twitter, what I don't like is the same jokes over and over again, retweeted over and over and tweeted by multiple people trying to pass them off as their own.

- I like hearing about current events, what I don't like is every single person retweeting and saying the same things over and over for the next 2 days about the same event and tweeting every single tidbit that they find out said current event.

- I like witty conversations between people, what I don't like is people using twitter to have conversations they could have over chat or sms, that have no need for the public forum such as Twitter or Facebook.

- I can accept someone complaining about something going on like a power outage or pothole, but doing it every day, do we need to know? Do we care?

- What is up with sad face tweets and fb statuses, either do a whole tweet saying what the issue is or keep your emoticons to yourself, or actually just keep your emoticons to yourself.

I know the rational response is, it is who you follow and bla bla bla, but I find nearly everyone does this stuff, which leads me to believe this social media lark is just not worth it.

Till next time in Waseem world.

15 Movie Questions list

2011-09-08T13:24:00.001+02:00

Nafisa showed me this list, and I thought it would be cool to do.

1. Movie you love with a passion.
Fight Club, but my recent love is Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World

2. Movie you vow to never watch.
Twilight, any of them for whatever reason.

3. Movie that literally left you speechless.
Memento, also Donnie Darko for WTFness

4. Movie you always recommend.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

5. Actor/actress you always watch, no matter how crappy the movie.
Edward Norton, he is the don.

6. Actor/actress you don’t get the appeal for.
Keira Knightly, she sucks.

7. Actor/actress, living or dead, you’d love to meet.
Steve Carrell, because he seems as funny in person as characters he plays.

8. Sexiest actor/actress you’ve seen. (Picture required!)
Anne Hathaway, don't need a pic, you know what she looks like. Was going to say Katrina Kaif but she isn't much of an actress

9. Dream cast.
Steve Carrell, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Ryan Gosling and Ed Norton

10. Favorite actor pairing.
Steve Carrell and Tina Fey

11. Favorite movie setting.
New Zealand aka Lotr

12. Favorite decade for movies.
00's, subjective though, more because most of my favorite movies at this point come from this decade

13. Chick flick or action movie?
Prefer comedy personally, but lesser of 2 evils is action

14. Hero, villain or anti-hero?
Anti-hero fo shizzle

I think we've gotten past tagging people but I will tag whoever wants to do this and specifically MJ and Corpsekicker cos I know they will enjoy it.

Till next time in Waseem world.

5 Ways The Internet Is Making Us Dumber

2011-09-07T14:37:00.000+02:00

Google search and Wikipedia readily offer answers at ourfingertips these days, and as smart as that makes us feel, I feel the Internetis actually making us dumber. Here are a few reasons why:

1. FacebookReminders: In the old days, as we will tell our children, there was noFacebook. ‘How did we know who our friends were’, ‘How did you know what theywere doing’, ‘Where did you post your pics of you in the bathroom mirror withyour phone camera’, they will ask. Yes, there was a time we couldn’t do thosethings, a simpler time purists will say. Another thing we didn’t have wasFacebook reminders which told us when someone’s birthday was, so we had toremember it manually. By relying on Facebook for remembering something sosimple, we have become lazy to remember stuff because we depend on Facebook todo the remembering.

2. 140 characters in Twitter: Twitter onlyallows you a maximum of 140 characters, which means you have to get pointacross in as few words as possible. While some people sometimes tweet longer,or break their tweets up, most people don’t and shouldn’t because that is kindaagainst the point of tweets. Most people sacrifice spelling and grammar intheir tweets to reduce the number of characters, which leads to a disregard forspelling and grammar in general usage. And anyone who writes stuff like ‘Ur dabest’ sounds like an idiot.

3. Google/Wikipedia Search: I touched onthis earlier, how these give us answers at our fingertips, but just likeFacebook, this creates laziness, as it lifts the burden of knowledge. So we don’tfeel the need to ever know anything because we can always google/wiki it later.

4. Procrastination: How did peopleprocrastinate before the internet? Internet presents a huge potential forprocrastination and distraction, as an example I’m doing this blogpost insteadof doing the documentation I should be doing.

5. Disinformation: We are supposedlyliving in the Information Age, but in reality the Internet provides just asmuch disinformation as information. As Terry Pratchett said, “A lie will run around the world while the truth is still getting its boots on” (I justread that some James Watt guy said this, whatever, I read it in a TerryPratchett book) With Twitter trending topics, rumors are easily started but notas easily stopped. You can even find two totally contrasting answers to thesame question and whatever your bias is you will consider that the ‘truth’.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Keep Ramadan fever up (Tik Tok parody)

2011-08-08T16:15:00.003+02:00

It's been another long while since I blogged and I've been meaning to blog for a while but I lack the general inspiration but enough of my sad stories, here is the parody based on Kesha's Tick Tock, the lyrics are fairly dumb, but an improvement on the stupidity of the original.

Wake up in the morning feeling bit dizzy
Read some Ikhlaas, make some dhor. I'm gonna hit this sehri
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a piece of miswaak.
Cuz when I leave my bed for sehri I aint coming back.

I'm talkin straightening our rows, rows
Athar on all our clothes, clothes
Silent mode on our phones, phones
Sin stoppin, not playin our favourite cd's
Pullin out of parties
Tryna get a little bit hifzy...

Don't stop. Keep it up, keep Ramadan fever up.
Tonight, imma recite til we see the sunlight
Tik tok on the clock, but the praying don't stop.
Don't stop. Keep it up, keep Ramadan fever up.
Tonight, imma recite til we see the sunlight
Tik tok on the clock, but the praying don't stop.

Aint got a care for this world, it’s the afterlife i fear
Aint got no money in my pocket, but i'm already here,
And now the dudes are linin up cuz they hear we readin witr
But we’re there from the start, even stay for zikr
I'm talkin about errrbody gettin monk
No one eatin no junk
Only haleem and sarbath to be drunk.
Now now we go until muezzin kick us out
Or the mosque is shut down.
Down down. Mo mo is shut down. (Ed Note: I find this line esp cringeworthy)

Don't stop. Keep it up, keep Ramadan fever up.
Tonight, imma recite til we see the sunlight
Tik tok on the clock, but the praying don't stop.
Don't stop. Keep it up, keep Ramadan fever up.
Tonight, imma recite til we see the sunlight
Tik tok on the clock, but the praying don't stop.

Original lyrics

Till next time in Waseem world

Friday

2011-05-16T16:33:00.002+02:00

It’s been a while since I did a parody post, so might be a bit rusty. This is a parody of Rebecca Black’s Friday, and if you haven’t heard of it then you have probably been living in a cellar. I dedicate this post to MJ because he’s the only one I know who likes it, and Hamza because he was rocking out to it long before it even had 2 million views. This meant to be done on Friday but Blogger was down.

Rebecca Black - Friday

11 a.m., waking up in the morning

Got to be fresh, got to make ghusl

Got to wear my kurtah, got to wear athar

Seeing everything, the time is going

Ticking on and on, everybody’s rushing

Got to get down to the mosque

Got to make my wudhu, I see my friends (my friends)

Kicking in the front saff

Sitting in the back saff

Got to make my mind up

Which saff can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday

Got to bow down on Friday

Everybody’s looking forward to the kutbah, kutbah

Friday, Friday

Bowing down on Friday

Everybody’s looking forward to the kutbah

Praying and praying (yeah)

Azaan, Azaan, Azaan, Azaan

Looking forward to the kutbah

12:15, we’re driving on the highway

Cruising so fast, I want time to fly

Azaan, Azaan, think I hear Azaan

You know what it is

I got this, you got this

My angel is by my right

I got this, you got this

Now you know it

Kicking in the front saff

Sitting in the back saff

Got to make my mind up

Which saff can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday

Got to bow down on Friday

Everybody’s looking forward to the kutbah, kutbah

Friday, Friday

Bowing down on Friday

Everybody’s looking forward to the kutbah

Praying and praying (yeah)

Azaan, Azaan, Azaan, Azaan

Looking forward to the kutbah

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday

Today is Friday, Friday (praying)

We-we-we so excited

We so excited

We going to have dhall today

Tomorrow is Saturday

And Sunday comes afterwards

I don’t want this kutbah to end

Till next time in Waseem world

Women Presidents

2011-05-05T08:28:00.002+02:00

I think that maybe it is time there were more women in power, because they can’t possibly do a worse job than the men are currently doing. Actually I believe there isn’t much one person can do in today’s political structures but this not the road I want to take this post down; neither do I have the political nous to back that statement up. Here are a few women, who I think might make great presidents, and some possible pitfalls in their campaigns.

Khadija Patel
Why she would make a great president: Khadija Patel is like a real life celebrity, and I went to her house! One day, they are going to show her house on Cribs. Khadija is so famous that this is likely conversation. Person A: Khadija Patel just tweeted something about Jacob Zuma. Person B: Who’s Jacob Zuma? Besides her fame, Khadija is also one of the smartest and caring people that I know, although I’m not sure those are criteria presidents usually satisfy. They should, in my opinion.

Why she shouldn’t be president: Khadija spreads herself too thin as she is always doing millions of things at once. Allah only knows how she gets everything done. She would probably be sworn in as Minister of every portfolio because there is no one better qualified and burn herself out.

Noorjehaan
Why she would be a great president: I don’t know anyone who can champion a cause as passionately and ardently as Noorjehaan does. She is someone who I think people would find easy to believe in and support.

Why she shouldn’t be president: If Noorjehaan were president, she would take the budget and give 95% of it to Education and 5% to charity. She would also reshape the entire education so that is unrecognisable, which although im my opinion not a bad thing would be quite a culture shock to the country.

Azra
Why she would be a great president: Azra seems to me to be a very opinionated, strong-willed and determined person. If she were president she would make every month a new challenge for each Ministerial department to clean up their act.

Why she shouldn’t be president: I think if Azra became president, the tenure would be most remembered for “cruel and unusual punishments”

*rah
Why she would be a great president: *rah is the smartest person I know, she knows just about everything there is to know about everything. If I went on “Who wants to be a millionaire?” she would be my “phone a friend” for all categories besides perhaps sport.

Why she shouldn’t be president: If *rah became president she will lead a genocide against all the stupid people and based on the sample size of people I know, that is about 80% of the population. She would then lead the survivors against the rest of the world’s stupid until stupidity was extinct.

Bibi Aisha
Why she would make a great president: Bibi has had a lot of exposure to all the different kinds of government and would bring that awareness to her tenure. I also think she has the most political smarts of the people I know to actually be able to pull off a presidency.

Why she shouldn’t be president: Bibi would be very Thabo Mbeki-ish in that she will be going all over the place on diplomatic missions, and would hardly be in the country, though I bet she would be more sensible about AIDS.

Till next time in Waseem world.

A Toast ...

2011-03-09T11:34:00.000+02:00

I meant to write this last week, but due to amalgam of work, procrastination and lack of inspiration, I had to postpone till I had the time. I think this post might be a bit late, but this is my best man (;)) speech.

I met MJ over blogging in 2006 at a bowling blog meet. We have a lot in common, mainly movies and games so we quickly bonded. Only 4 years ago, but it seems like we have known each other for much longer than that, maybe 5 years. Over those years we have grown quite close (not in a gay way), which in itself is remarkable as I do not have many male friends, primarily because guys are assholes. That is not to say MJ is not an asshole (not that I’m not either) but I think MJ’s sister in law (@pandora2707) put it well when she tweeted “At first I thought my brother-in-law @concerningmj was a dick. Now I see he's a dick without knowing it. Couldn't be prouder <3>

So on my blog, I raise a toast to Kareema and MJ, may their love and happiness continue to grow.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Shorty’s love is like a pyramid

2011-02-18T16:16:00.000+02:00

A week or so ago, during a recent trip up to Johannesburg, my brother’s choice of CD playing, a song came on. It started off with “Shorty’s love is like a pyramid…” before it was promptly skipped, and I was glad because it was a shit sounding song. It did however get me wondering in what ways shorty’s love could possibly be like a pyramid. Shorty, if you don’t know, is slang for a girlfriend, although I’m not sure if she is still a shorty if she is taller than the guy.

Here are a few ways the singer may be likening shorty’s love to pyramid, shorty’s love could be:-
a. Triangle shaped
b. In Egypt
c. Made out of bricks
d. Rumored to be constructed by aliens
e. The tomb of an ancient Egyptian king
f. Built by slaves
g. A wonder of the modern world (this is a good one)

I’ve googled the lyrics for the song but it’s all gibberishy to me, so I think my comparisons are probably better.

Till next time in Waseem world.

At The Movies With Waseem

2011-01-24T17:35:00.000+02:00

Last year was a crap year for movies, bar a few notable exceptions, so I found myself going to movies even less than usual, which used to be almost every week. I think I've also become very choosy with movies so I don't stand crap, hence me stopping watching Bollywood movies. I think my choosiness has spread to MJ also because he also doesn't watch any crap anymore, which Kareema should thank me dearly for, because else her life would have been wasted watching The Rock movies.

I'm going to do my own annual movie awards following MJ's model but adding in a few categories as well as removing a few.

Best animated movie
Despicable Me

Worst Animated Movie
Shrek forever after

Best Comic Book Movie
Scott Pilgrim

Best Bollywood Song
Don't watch the movies so this category is turned to best song, cos I still listen to the music if they are good.
Tere Mast Mast Do Nain - Dabangg

Best Adaptation
Scott Pilgrim

Best movie most people will overlook
dinner for Schmucks cos it wasn't released in SA

Crappiest Sequel
Shrek forever After

Best Movie experience
Scott Pilgrim (I less than 3 this movie!)

Biggest movie thats not in my list except here just to point out that it didnt win anything
Social Network

Best Sequel
Toy Story 3

Most surprisingly awesome
The A-Team

Worst movie MJ picked
Killers

Best Comedy
Cop Out

Biggest disappointment
Get Him to the Greek

Worst Adaptation
Prince of Persia

Worst Movie
From Paris with Love (Fuck this movie! Hate it so much!!!)

Movie of the Year
Inception

The John Travolta award for crap acting
From Paris with Love (Go to Hell John Travolta!!!)

Till next time in Waseem world

2010 - Year of the World Cup

2010-12-21T10:55:00.000+02:00

It has been a tradition on my blog to do a year-end post. So being the lazy person I am, I copied last years one and changed the answers.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Went for a World cup match and did a foofy slide thing, can’t remember what else

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember if I had any, I don't normally do that kinda stuff. I doubt I would in the new year either.

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
Purposefully plan not to do anything cos this New Year’s Eve hype is nonsense

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My cousin was killed in an accident

5. What countries did you visit?
Still 0 countries

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A PS3 and an LED TV :D and hopefully a new(ish) car

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
11 June 2010 – Noorjehaan’s birthday :D and also the opening of the World Cup

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I won an Xbox in a writing competition

9. What was your biggest failure?
I don’t know, I can’t think of anything.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing too serious

11. What was the best thing you bought?
World Cup tickets and spill the beans wrap.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Monthly expense crap

13. What song will always remind you of 2010?
K’Naan – Wave your Flag, not my favorite song but most memory inducing

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Travelling but didn’t have money to.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Work :D

16. What was your favourite TV program?
Flight of the Conchords!

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t think I hate people. People have annoyed me and made me angry, like my cousins but I don’t hate them. Maybe Roy Hodgson!

18. What was the best book you read?
Nothing sticks out, I need to read my books at home

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Fanfarlo, Mumford and Sons and Civil Twilight

20. What was your favourite film of this year?
Inception but I really enjoyed Scott Pilgrim as well

21. What did you do on your birthday?
Watched Clash of the Titans. Worst movie of the year!

22. What kept you sane?
Friends (not the sitcom)

23. Who did you miss?
I rather not get into this one

24. Who was the best new person you met?
I’ve met a lot of new people over the year so I don’t think it’s right to single someone out like it is a popularity concert.

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010
Rainbow Chicken is halaal/haraam/halaal/haraam etc. ad nauseum.

Till next time in Waseem world

War against Lesotho

2010-12-08T15:03:00.000+02:00

Nafisa recently got this weird mail, which she showed to me, and with her permission, I decided to satire it in an Agony Aunt Style. Apologies for the caps in the mail but this is exactly how Nafisa received the email.

-----

I AM A CONCERNED PARENT OF A TWELVE YEAR OLD WHO IS SECRETLY USING
MXIT DESPITE BEING CAUGHT AND REPRIMANDED TWICE.
I AM NOT SO CLUED UP ABOUT MXIT BUT I AM LOOKING AT THE DANGER SIGNS
OF IT AS HE IS DOING THIS SO SECRETLY –HAS HAD FOUR SIM CARDS –THREE
OF WHICH I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THEY BELONG TO OR WHO RIKA’D THEM.
I HAVE COME ACROSS A COMMON USER NAME THOUGH & I WONDER IF THIS
IS SUFFICIENT TO OPEN UP A PROFILE & SEE IF HE IS USING FALSE IDENTIFICATION
OR INFORMATION ABOUT HIMSELF .
PLEASE ADVISE ME

Dear Concerned Parent,
Thank you for bringing your suspicions to our attention. We know that it must have been quite difficult for you to come forward with such damning evidence against your son. We are sorry to inform you that it appears your son is a traitor to our country and is involved in selling state secrets to Lesotho.

Lesotho have grown tired of their landlocked status and wish to invade our beautiful country and are using children on Mxit to achieve this evil (except to people from Lesotho) task. Your son has been given the SIM cards by the Lesotho government which have NOT been Rica’d, which, in conjunction with charges of treason, makes your son a criminal for using unRica’d SIM cards.

Your mission, Mrs. Concerned Parent, if you choose to accept it, is to serve your country and disable the terrorist cell living in your own home. Taking away his phone would not be sufficient, as knowing the wiles of the Lesotho Special ‘Attack South Africa’ Task Force (LSASATF), would only lead to tipping off your son’s heinous (except to people from Lesotho) employers and put the rest of your family at risk. In fact if the LSASATF have been tracking your emails, you might already be under threat. The only real solution we have, Mrs. Concerned Parent, is to poison his cereal and strike a blow for the righteous in the war against Lesotho.

Thank you Mrs. Concerned Parent, our country needs more citizens of your ilk.

-----

Till next time in Waseem world.

Favestar

2010-11-11T18:05:00.000+02:00

I don’t do follow Fridays. I don’t see a need for them. I usually retweet people who I think are cool or funny or insightful. So this post isn’t a long ass follow Friday yet it kinda is. Thohira aka @taineechan told me about this Cosmopolitan kings photoshoot, which is basically South Africa’s top male tweeters, which included Gareth Cliff, Khaya Dhlanga and that Aki Anastasou guy. I don’t follow any of them. I see some retweets of theirs occasionally but I don’t follow them because I don’t find their tweets interesting. So I told Thohira that I follow cooler SA tweeters that should be there rather, so I will make my own list. I don’t want to call it Cosmopolitan Kings or COSKings cos that sounds kinda gay.

Here is a list of 3 of my most favorite SA male tweeters and SA female tweeters.
1. @parasputin – Ok he doesn’t live in SA now, but he did before so I think it still counts. I find his tweets funny usually. And my favorite moment on twitter was when he and I and a group of others #dragonaged the crap out of our twitter feeds.
2. @mirfaan – he always posts quality links dubbed #irfaansizzle and he also throws in a great pun now and again
3. @concerningmj – I’m not sure if anyone can say what the point of twitter is.
It might change from person to person, but I think he and I see twitter in the same way. Although I think he does dilute the humor occasionally due to posting his tweets on facebook all the time. I suppose broader audience and all that.

Here are my top 3 female, this was a bit harder to choose cos there really are a lot more good female tweeters than there are male, that I have found anyway.
1. @noorjehaan – I think she tweets in the same way that she chats, and I find her tweets funny and relatable. She has a way of eloquently wording my thoughts lately with her gay poetry.
2. @testcardf – she is very punny and also at times I think way over my head but I find her tweets entertaining.
3. @corpsekicker – It was hard to choose just 3(I know it’s stupid that I’m complaining considering I set my own rules) cos there a lot of female tweeters that I enjoy including @fathazz, @saaleha, @nafisa1 and @khadijapatel but I think @corpsekicker is the person I retweet the most, and she throws in the odd programming joke which I’m sure goes over most of her followers’ heads.

So that’s my list, direct your complaints to my comment page and leave a few of your recommendations as well.

Till next time in Waseem World.

Stuff Charous Like

2010-10-13T17:14:00.000+02:00

You must have heard of Stuff White People Like. It is an immensely popular blog about stuff white people like and the guy even published a book full of them that was on the New York best-seller list, whatever that means. I thought I would do some about the stuff charous like. Charous if you do not know is a slang/colloquial term used for Indian people in South Africa. It is not an offensive term, as far as I am concerned, but maybe some touchy Indians would find it so. I used the term 'charous' specifically due to the fact I think that the stuff is mostly common with South African Indians, specifically Durban Indians.

StuffCharousLike #1 - Gold Slits/Teeth
I am convinced gold slits and gold teeth were invented for charous. The only other race group I've seen with gold slits/teeth are coloured guys and they usually grew up in an area with a large charou influence. I think some charous might even loosen their own teeth so they are able to adorn their cavities with gold.

StuffCharousLike #2 - Buying cheap cars they can do up
Every charou’s favorite car is the Citi Golf because it is usually cheap and then they can spend obscene amounts of money; sometimes triple the value of the car, just doing it up. Putting decals, funny light things all over the place, chrome gear knobs etc. This is not only reserved to Citi Golf and is also common with Conquests, Ballades and, every charou’s dream, the Subaru.

StuffCharousLike #3 - Putting sound in their car
This would also fall under doing up their cars but this is such an event, it deserves an entry of its own. Every charou wants his car to be fast and to impress ‘stekkies’ with a few revs at the traffic light but the one thing every charou must have more than speed is the sound. In fact, as far as the charou is concerned, the car boot is the place you put your sub in. And the reason they call it sound is because all it is just sounds, not music. Charous could care less about music, all they care about is how much bass and treble a song got so they can show it off on their sound system.

StuffCharousLike #4 - Working in call centers
I actually work in a company whose core business is a call centre. So I see a lot of sales agents and people who come in to train to become sales agents. 99% of them are charous.

StuffCharousLike #5 – Personalized Number plates
To the charou the greatest invention since sliced bread was the personalized number plate. If a charou can afford it he will have a personalized number plate, no matter the fact the car is about 30 years old and the personalized number plate costs about 20% of the value of the car itself. If a charou cannot afford a personalized number plate, he will get a fake plastic one and put it in the back windscreen, next to his gold tissue box.

StuffCharousLike #6 – Medical Aid
The reason charous like medical aid is not because it makes health care affordable, it is because it allows them to get sunglasses and cosmetic contact lenses. Charous love cosmetic contact lenses, regardless of the fact the lens color does not suit them. I am also convinced that pharmacies keep grocery items due to the fact charous use medical aid to shop there.

StuffCharousLike #7 – Boasting about ridiculous bargain they attained
I am not questioning charous’ honesty (though it is questionable at times), but they do have a knack for stretching the truth. Charous tend to boast about ridiculous bargains,e.g. An LED TV for R2000, they happened upon but never reveal their sources or make it seem like it was a once in a lifetime kinda thing.

I have a few more but this post is getting a bit too long so maybe I will do a second part.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon

2010-08-30T16:02:00.000+02:00

Have you heard of the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon? If you have, then that in itself is the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. If you haven't then, perhaps you will hear about it again soon. The Baader-Meinhof is when you learn some obscure bit of trivia and soon afterward you hear the bit of trivia again. E.g. the other day my friend Delon had a trivia question on twitter asking what the god particle was also known as. I said antimatter as per Angels and Demons. But he sent me a wikipedia article and it is actually known in science terms as the Higgs Boson particle. Almost a minute after the Onion's joke horoscope for Hamza as a Gemini was "You should really try to live your life so that your happiness doesn't depend so much on whether or not they find the Higgs boson particle." That's what you call Baader-Meinhoff phenomenon. I have actually been keeping an eye out on this for a while now and seems to be true. Every time I learn something new, I am confronted with that bit of information shortly after. For the record, I don’t believe or follow horoscopes religiously; I just read them for comedic value.

To summarise the article that I read, our brains have a “prejudice towards patterns”, which cause it [the brain] “to lend excessive importance to unremarkable events”. The article even says that coincidences themselves are perceived due to this prejudice and “we underestimate the probability of coinciding events, so our expectations are at odds with reality”.

I find all these psychological phenomena quite fascinating, and spend lots of time procrastinating over the discovery of another. To coin a phrase, “Brain stimulation is nice.”

Till next time in Waseem world.

Ramadaan E-Cards 3

2010-08-12T15:17:00.000+02:00

So it is Ramadaan again, and as has become tradition on my blog, I did a few e-cards to mark the occasion.

This one was inspired by Corpsekicker's tweet.

Till next time in Waseem world.

It’s Hard For Me To Ask for Maaf

2010-07-27T15:15:00.000+02:00

I dedicate this post to Saaleha and MJ for their hilarious statuses on Maaf

It’s Hard For Me To Ask for Maaf
Everybody needs a little sawaab today
I've heard her say
one sms after another

Even though we barely speak today oooh
we need forgiveness from each other

SMS me now
It's hard for me to ask for maaf (except on big night)
I just want you to say
And after all that we've been through
I will sms back to you
I forgive you, maybe

And after all that’s been said and done
What I’ve done to you, I don’t really know

ooooh bup bup bup bup

Can’t remember but I sent it anyway
Not even what day
or what I did say
Wouldn't want big night to go away awaaaaaaaay
without forwarding an sms to all the people I know

SMS me now
It's hard for me to ask for maaf (except on big night)
I just want you to know
SMS me now
I really want to ask you for maaf (cos it’s big night)
What I’ve done I don’t even know

And after all that we've been through
I just want you to know
I forgive you (cos it’s big night)

And after all that's been said and done
What you’ve done to me, I don’t really know

I’m outta airtime.
Adapted from Hard to say I’m sorry by Az-Yet

Till next time in Waseem world.

Cause I Got ...

2010-07-01T12:26:00.000+02:00

To the tune of Afroman’s Cause I Got High. The first two aren't very timeous.

Benni McCarthy
I was going to be part of the Bafana squad, but then I got fat
I was going to win the golden boot, but then I got fat
Now I’m watching the World Cup from my sofa, and I know why
Cause I got fat
Cause I got fat
Cause I got fat

Robert Green
I was going to be England’s No1, but then I slipped up
I was going to keep clean sheets, but then I slipped up
Now they’re playing Old Father Time instead of me and I know why
Cause I slipped up
Cause I slipped up
Cause I slipped up

Sani Keita
We were going to beat Greece, but I got sent off
We were going to finish runners-up, but I got sent off
Now they disbanded the national team and I know why
Cause I got sent off
Cause I got sent off
Cause I got sent off

Frank Lampard
We were going to win the World Cup, but the ref was blind
I scored a goal and it was disallowed, cos the ref was blind
Now we’re back in London, and we know why
Cause England were crap
Cause England were crap
Cause England were crap

Till next time in Waseem world.

World Cup Preview

2010-06-11T12:08:00.000+02:00

I am nothing more than an armchair coach and most of my knowledge was garnered playing Football/Championship Manager but I would still like to think I know more than etv’s panel of ‘experts’ as well as anyone who has ever watched a football/soccer game. Here are my predictions based on my limited knowledge.

South Africa
There is a lot of hysteria going around due to the fact of us being hosts and people shouting out “We are going to win the World Cup” all over Facebook and Twitter, but let’s face it, there is no way that is happening. Not being pessimistic, and unpatriotic, just realistic. I have a new found belief that we could reach the second round but not much beyond that. For us to make it to the second round, it is crucial to get a result against Mexico today and for all the other teams to take points of each other. The other teams are quite tough and I see Uruguay as the team winning our group and a 3 way fight for second between us, France and Mexico.

African Teams
This is the first World Cup that there are 6 African teams and many people feel it crucial that the African teams perform well collectively in order to allow 6 African teams for every World Cup. There are currently just 5 African teams allowed to qualify, with South Africa only qualifying for virtue of being a host. Based on the talent and number of countries in Africa, it makes little sense to have that few places, while the Concacaf(Mexico, USA etc.) region have 3 and a half places (a playoff place as well) based on their level of interest. The problem however is that every team has a tough draw based on the fact they are not seeded. The only teams I see making it to the second round, based on the groups are Nigeria, Cameroon and, hopefully, South Africa. I do not think this will be enough to convince the powers that be.

The Contenders
The teams I think, based on squads and ability, that have the best chance of winning the World Cup are Spain, Netherlands, Argentina and Brazil. Spain has the best squad available, with top drawer players in each position with quality back up as well, so they are my tips to win.

There is little under 4 hours to go for kick off of the greatest game on earth, and I hope we host the best World Cup ever and whether Bafana Bafana progress or not, we as a country are successful in proving the world wrong.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Jobs vs Gates

2010-05-26T19:01:00.000+02:00

Nafisa showed me this link of Jobs Vs Gates comics. It's kinda similar to the Kanye interrupt thing, so I decided to do a few. If you would like to do some, there is a template on the link to the site. I dedicate this post to Nafisa, who encouraged me to enter the IE competition where I recently won an Xbox. Here's a link to my entry. She was also recently made editor of MyDL so she is pretty awesome. Click on the images if they are too small.

Till next time in Waseem world.

One month too late

2010-05-13T15:30:00.000+02:00

I saw this Batman pic generating thing, and this was the first thing that came to mind.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Twitter Trending Topics

2010-05-12T14:43:00.000+02:00

I got this idea from Azra's tweet - The world can be falling apart and Justin Bieber will still be the top trending topic. #TwitterBug Stupid #Followers

What the Twitter Trending Topics will look like on the day when the world comes to an end.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Not Bruges

2010-05-10T14:33:00.000+02:00

I finally watched In Bruges. People have told me it's better than Up In The Air, Hurt Locker and even Inglorious Basterds. They were wrong. I haven't seen Hurt Locker though so maybe they are right about that one. It was a good movie but not great. The start was really boring, and the movie really only picked up towards the end. The dialogue was great but not as good as Up In The Air's. In fact, if it weren't for Ralph Fiennes, the movie would have just been above average.

The one thing the movie did get me thinking about though was that Ralph Fiennes character sent Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson to Bruges as a final treat for Colin Farrell before his death. I think he figured Colin Farrell would like dying in a "fairytale town." I wondered to myself where I would like to go to, to die. A very morbid topic perhaps, but I don't have a fear of death itself as such. Well the one thing Colin Farrell's character and I have in common is that it was definitely not Bruges. I think I would like it to be somewhere scenic and serene. After the recent volcanic pictures, Iceland seems to fit that bill to my mind. So at the moment, if I knew I were going to die I would go to Iceland. What a happy thought :P

Till next time in Waseem world.

Birthday Cake

2010-04-16T14:22:00.000+02:00

When I was in school, we used to buy chocolates for the other kids in class whenever it was our birthdays. It was some kind of unwritten rule. I don't think everyone followed it, but most. The other unwritten rule was that the teacher got a slab of chocolate. I have no idea why. What warrants the teacher getting better/bigger chocolate? I always gave easter eggs due to when my birthday fell so I grew a bit sick of easter eggs. I still am.

Now that I'm older and in the working world, there is the (often forgotten) unwritten rule that you bring cake on your birthday. This can be very expensive especially if you work in a big office. You have to hope for a good few diabetics. Hamza told me that in his office people go crazy for cake. At the slightest mention of the word, people are galloping down hallways looking to guzzle down the confectionery. I imagine a crazed crowd going 'Caaaake!' 'Caaaake!' People just love free food.

CAAKE!!!CAAKE!!!

The thing I don't understand is, it is your birthday, why do you have to be the one to buy the cake? I mean I understand in school, it's not feasible for children to pitch in to buy you a cake/chocolate, but at work it is. I have brought in cake however so I have fulfilled my part of it. These mutha'uckers at work better fulfill theirs when their turn comes.

Till next time in Waseem world

Non-Tweetworthy

2010-03-26T12:32:00.000+02:00

Everybody and their cousin are now on Twitter. (Please don’t comment and say, I’m not on Twitter and neither is my cousin. That is just an expression.) It seems Twitter has survived the test of time and overcome being a fad and firmly ensconced itself in people’s lives as a habit. However most people seem to have the same problem that some people with blogs have, and that is distinguishing what is tweetworthy (blogworthy, in the case of blogs) and what is not. Obviously your Twitter profile (as well as your blog) is your own, and you have the right to do what you want, but there is such a thing as common sense.

Here are a few things I think that aren’t tweetworthy.

TMI Tweets

Stuff like ‘OMG I just farted and it smelt like KFC 4 minutes ago’, we really don’t need to know that. We don’t need to know about any of your bodily functions, thanks.

Hypocritical Tweets
I’m totally in love with that Owl City song. 5 days ago
Whoever loves that owl city song is a loser. 2 minutes ago
Firstly, you have to realize people are going to remember stuff that you tweet as well as the fact it is saved on your profile, and contradicting the stuff you said just makes you a hypocritical asshole. Also, that Owl City song is gay.

Sensationalist Tweets
I just totally knocked some chick now. 3 minutes ago
The only thing tweets like these prove is that you are an attention seeker and nothing you say/tweet can be trusted.

Reply to All Tweets
Can I come too? RT @someone I’m going to the movies now! 1 minute ago
This is the equivalent of replying to all when people send forward mails. People hate that. Rather just @ or DM the person concerned.

Location Tweets
I am outside my house at 3 Madeup Place Road Madeup City 3 minutes ago
This is just common sense; don’t give away where you are in tweets for your own safety. There are a lot of crazy people on the internet. I don’t really see a point to doing this either.

Formspring Tweets
I don’t mind a formspring question and answer here and there but every single question and answer is spamming, especially if you are answering 20 questions a time.

This is just a lesson in common sense and some advice. Use it, don’t use it, it is up to you. The tweets in the post are made up but are not a far cry from actual tweets I have seen.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Metronomy - Thing for me

2010-03-19T16:30:00.000+02:00

A Thing For Me from Metronomy on Vimeo.

I am so in love with this video and this song that it is a bit concerning. I must have listened to this song at least 8 times today and watched the video about 4 times, and I rarely ever set songs on repeat. Please someone tell me that this song is very catchy and my insanity is warranted. The dark haired girl is really hot too.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Are Dentists Sadists?

2010-03-03T08:43:00.000+02:00

From around 8-10 years old, I wanted to become a dentist when I grew up. Mostly because my cousin was a dentist and he had a beautiful wife and was quite successful. (I also wanted to be a director or a writer but I didn't have a suitable role model for that.) This all changed when I was 11.

At 11, I got braces. The worst experience of my life. Even to put in the braces, I had to suffer multiple extractions (4 teeth), because they were milk teeth. And over the course of the 4 years I had them, I lost every semblance of self confidence that I had. I don't think braces were as common as they are now, so they still had that loser stigma. At one point my orthodontist even told me I had to wear headgear, that was a step too far for me and I refused to wear it. The experience ended with a retainer, marks on my teeth and marks on my very soul. I despised orthodontists, dentists and even dental hygienists were not spared from my despising. I have been self conscious about my teeth ever since.

After the braces, every visit to the dentist was abhorred, even though, most of the time, I was going to my cousin. The suction thing sometimes sucking out my air and choking on my own blood were not my favorite things to do. My dentist visits were sporadic and only done under mild protest. My last dentist visit (until the one yesterday) was in 2004, due to the fact I was about to turn 21 and was going to be taken off my father's medical aid. I left the dentist's room with my mouth numb with Novocaine and my heart filled with hatred for dentistry.

Over the following years I heard many horror stories of root canals and wisdom teeth removal and this frightened me more and steeled my resolve over not wanting to go to the dentist. If I just brush properly my teeth will be fine, I told myself. But years of overindulging in sweet stuff eventually caught up to me and yesterday I grudgingly went to the dentist.

As soon as we got to the dentist, I heard a girl screaming in pain. Not a great start. I was surprised that the person who came out into the waiting room was a woman in her early 30s and she was whimpering like she had just been put to torture. I heard the dentist say she doesn't even get small children who behave that way. I was afraid of giving her a repeat performance. Panic started to slowly set in. My sister went first, while I considered worst case scenarios. Root Canal, wisdom removal, extractions, and, most frighteningly, braces seemed like sureties rather than possibilities at that point. A feeling of dread washed over me when my time on the chair finally arrived.

When I sat down, I just thought to myself, bugger this, I am 26 years old, I need to man up and prepared for the worst. Fortunately it was anti-climactic as it was over in about 10 minutes and the worst thing that happened was that my gums bled. I even realised that while the suction sucked out my air, I could easily breathe through my nose. The dentist was very pleasant and gave me a break every few minutes to rinse out my mouth.

So to the question in the title, are dentists sadists? Probably, but you can get lucky sometimes.

This post wasn't as funny as my usual stuff if you wanna read a really funny dentist post read this - *Zweee*

Till next time in Waseem world.

Yet another cool tag thing

2010-02-08T10:36:00.000+02:00

I got this from a Facebook note of Nafisa's, and you haven't seen hers it is probably that you are not her Facebook friend and she does not like you.

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
I was going to say Beyonce but Nafisa already said that so just to be different I will say Lady Gaga.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
If Black Eyed Peas can be considered a band, them, otherwise (Sorry Salma) Nickelback

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Wow this is a bit violent, hmm ... Gary Neville (He plays for Man United and is a total knob)

4. What is your favorite cheese?
I don't particularly like cheese, just melted cheese in pizza and pasta and stuff, so i guess Mozzarella

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
Skippy ultra smooth peanut butter and butter, that is my favorite, if nothing else is left kind of food.

6. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Jordan, to go see Petra, I have always wanted to see that place.

7. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover a hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
I don't know what is available to purchase there, maybe some souvenir thing, and get something to eat with the change.

8. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
You don't talk about Fight Club :D Just kidding, there won't be a Fight Club (or maybe that's what I want you to believe). There are 3 things I despise about human society i.e. lying, selfishness and greed, if I could only outlaw one of those things, I would go for greed. Greed is forbidden for those who do not wish to suffer a most painful death.

9. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?
Screw my own design, I would bring back Invader Zim. If I can't then I will make it a show where there a group of hunters who hunt and kill all those people who bring their drama stories to American Idol, Whatever got Talent etc. I can't stand those people.

10. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?
Vegetable Man! I always liked the powers of flight even in the face of cooler powers or maybe Nightcrawler's teleportation power.

Till next time in Waseem world

What if Romeo and Juliet were Mxiters

2010-01-26T14:43:00.000+02:00

I was going to include the bits of the play I transcribe also, to give it context as well as the fact I don't remember the lines from the play except something about light yonder window breaks but that would take too long, if anyone wants to read the play you can click here.

Side Note: I forgot how tiresome Shakespeare can be, besides Hamlet, Hamlet rocked.

Romeo: Sup mwah

Juliet: nm lol mwah

Romeo: Sup mwah, I got ur pic, u look hot lol

Juliet: Yay me lol

Romeo: Lol say something else

Juliet: Romeo, Romeo, r u there?

Romeo: Sorry, dc lol

Juliet: lol ok, I like ur pic too mwah, and u sweet but ur name is doff lol (She actually says Romeo, doff thy name)

Romeo: lol ok my bras call me Ro, u can call me that, but call me on my cell, cos I dont have airtime lol

Juliet: lol ok, btw where did u get my number?

Romeo: lol, one two contacts ;)

Juliet: No for real how u got my number, r u Romeo from Asoka?

Romeo: Maybe ;) Why what's ur waar now? I thought u smaaked me.

Juliet: If my brus found out about they will work you lol

Romeo: El, im not skrik for noone, i vy gym and got one two bras who drive taxis

Juliet: lol dont worry i wont tell them.

Romeo: Shoo, but waar I wasnt skrik, mwah

Juliet: So for waar you smaak me? Say oath!

Romeo: Sathima I smaak you

Juliet: no dont say sathima, I dont believe in all that. Say oath!

Romeo: Ok oath! can we cyber now? lol

Juliet: lol no! I have to vy now ;)(She actually says something about breasts but I'm trying to keep this relatively clean)

Romeo: el, u just vying like that (Romeo actually says O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?)

Juliet: Lol, what u want? I only cyber guys if i marry them. Will u marry me?

Romeo dcs

______________________________

Ok there's more to it but it was getting a bit much, I hope it is a bit funny, I haven't done a parody in a while, I'm a bit rusty.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Sometimes reality is funnier than fiction

2010-01-19T16:11:00.000+02:00

Click the image if you can't see the writing under the number clearly.
It says 'Make sure your next erection is in safe hands'

I saw this van on the way home from dropping my father off at dialysis this morning. I'm not sure if this is intentional or not. It's funny either way.

Till next time in Waseem world

Motivational Posters

2010-01-11T12:07:00.000+02:00

Motivational posters have over the past couple years dominated theInternet and drained the brain cells of many a casual link presser. Nowadays they've changed man, they used to be about the motivation. Now they are not much but a pic caption thing. In true ironic Waseem world style, (cos if Waseem world had a style it would be ironic) I have a motivational poster that is not motivational, so a pic caption thing, I just made about 5 mins ago after I saw this pic Hamza linked to me and I said I'm surprised there isn't a motivational poster.

So here is my first ever pic caption thing, and I will call it a motivational poster no longer.

Till next time in Waseem world.

2009, a year better forgotten

2010-01-04T15:29:00.000+02:00

I haven't blogged much lately. I seem to have lost the desire to write, even though I have ideas of stuff to write. This meme/tag stuff is much easier to do cos you have questions to answer as opposed to composing an entire post with all the punctuation and structure that entails. Sure I could write some haphazard halfassed post I'm not proud of, but I feel, especially when it comes to writing, when you do something, do it right. This is a tag/meme thing I got of Nafisa's blog that I found pretty interesting.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Went for a rock concert. Yes I know I'm lame for taking so long to go for one, but for some reason every other time I planned to go for one things didnt work out

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember if I had any, I don't normally do that kinda stuff. I think it's better not to set resolutions and deadlines on yourself to accomplish goals. I'm a procrastinator though, so I wouldn't take my advice.

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
This is past tense. I went to the souk for a bit, which was as lousy as usual. Then we dropped my cousin off somewhere and went home and played Modern Warfare 2. I'm trying to get over this New Year's hype, but that's a discussion for another day.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Michael Jackson. Just kidding, no, not really.

5. What countries did you visit?
0, hopefully I will eventually visit some

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Commitment to doing the stuff that I have to do

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
No date really stands out, I can't seem to remember anything important happening

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting a new job and getting away from my last job cos it was really sucky for me. I enjoy this job much more. I'm not sure if that is an achievement, I can't think of anything else unless I can put down Xbox360 achievements.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Procrastinating on the things I needed to do. Failing to wake up sooner.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope, just flu a couple of times.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A pillowcase with Keane lyrics on it as a gift for a friend.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Groceries and stuff I think, I don't keep record of this stuff.

13. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Muse - Uprising.

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Stuff that I needed to do.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Self chastising

16. What was your favourite TV program?
South Park

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is too severe, there as some people that I dislike more than I did before, but not hate. I think hate requires effort, apathy is so much easier and less messy.

18. What was the best book you read?
Terry Pratchett - Monstrous Regiment. It came out a while back but I only read it this year.

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The best new artist I heard this year was Doves.

20. What was your favourite film of this year?
I really liked Up

21. What did you do on your birthday?
I went to work and had supper at Spur with friends.

22. What kept you sane?
Xbox360

23. Who did you miss?
I missed my youth, if that is a sufficient answer to this question. Not that I'm haggardly old now.

24. Who was the best new person you met?
The guys I work with are ok, nothing to write home about. I did get to know a few people alot better over last year (over chatting mostly)

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Weddings can be very expensive.

That sums up most of last year, it wasn't particularly spectacular. It was a pretty lousy year for me personally. That was largely my fault though, because your life is what you make of it, if you're having a swak day/week/month/year, it's up to you to change it instead of sitting around and moping about it. I guess we can add that on to valuable life lesson also.

Till next time in Waseem world

Harry Potter > Twilight

2009-11-30T10:29:00.000+02:00

Edward Cullen = Cedric Diggory (Robert Pattinson)

Voldemort > Cedric Diggory (Voldemort pwned Cedric with an Avada Kedavra)

Harry Potter > Voldemort (Harry Potter finishes off Voldemort in Deathly Hallows)

Ergo...

Harry Potter > Edward Cullen (Twilight)

i.e. F**k Twilight.

Till next time in Waseem world

Once upon a time there was a freewriting challenge

2009-10-20T08:24:00.000+02:00

Parasputin made up the rules:

a) choose a topic
b) set a timer for 5 minutes
c) switch off your monitor to reduce the temptation to edit
d) write continuously, no edits.

Once upon a time there were two boys looking at each other. "What do you want from me?" asked the one boy to the other. "What is it that you need?" The other boy did not reply, just seemed to mouth something while the oher boy spoke. Inaudibly. On closer examination it seemed the the inaudible boy was not a boy at all but a reflection in a mirror. Unfortunately this was not a magical mirror as in harry potter and the mirror did not reply to him. It seemed the boy was just having an existential moment. Maybe if the mirror could reply it would tell him stuff like Ambition, success satisfaction, the usual stuff. Or maybe the reflection would say, 'Dude you're crazy' Which indeed seemed to be the case. Now I will end this story cos I got lie 30 seconds left and nothing else to say, and not enough time to think of something new to add to this story. The End...

The ellipse's purpose was not to create drama but because I had a few extra seconds. I'm surprised I didnt make any more spelling mistakes. I have a few punctuational errors, but that's usual for me. I am not tagging anyone, cos as Parasputin said, this is not a tag, just a challenge, so anyone can do it, or not do it.

Till next time in Waseem world.

What if Kanye West had a time machine

2009-09-16T09:07:00.000+02:00

You probably think this Kanye West thing has gone too far, and you are probably right but I'm sure by next week we will have some other idiot making a fool of himself on international television and we will all be making fun of him. It is just how the world works. I was just thinking what if Kanye West had a time machine, what other special moments he could ruin. This is not to say Kanye West doesn't have a time machine, considering his intimate knowledge of time.

Till next time in ... YO WASEEM IM GONNA LET YOU FINISH BUT THE ONION IS FUNNIEST PARODY SITE OF ALL TIME ... Waseem world

My Debut Novel Cover

2009-09-07T10:04:00.000+02:00

Got this from Nafisa's site, she always seems to do the coolest tags.

Create your debut novel cover:

1 – Go to “Fake Name Generator” or click http://www.fakenamegenerator.com/
The name that appears is your author name

2 – Go to “Random Word Generator” or click http://www.websitestyle.com/parser/randomword.shtml
The word listed under “Random Verb” is your title

3 – Go to “FlickrCC” or click http://flickrcc.bluemountains.net/index.php
Type your title into the search box. The first photo that contains a person is your cover.

4 – Use Photoshop, Picnik or something similar to put it all together. Be sure to crop and or zoom in.

5 – Post it to your blog along with this text.

I tag any budding authors out there, *cough* Saaleha *cough*

Addendum: The text if it isn't clear
Title : Sancrosanct
Author: Elmer D. McDowell

Till next time in Waseem world.

Ramadan E-Cards 2

2009-08-21T11:14:00.000+02:00

Ramadan Mubarak everyone. Here on ever-great-Waseem we celebrate the eve of Ramadan, the laziest way possible. i.e. E-cards. I'm not sure if you guys remember last year Saaleha had the awesomest Ecard post which was probably vastly plagiarized like her Survivor Ramadan post of this year. I also had an effort which wasn't as funny but I tried my best. So this year I decided to do a few more, to get the festivities of Ramadan going. Btw how many As are there in Ramadan, I thought there were 4 (Ramadaan) but who am I to argue with Firefox spellcheck.

* - Baligh refers to a person who has reached maturity or puberty and has full responsibility under Islamic law.

Till next time in Waseem world.

When Facebook Is Down

2009-08-12T14:11:00.000+02:00

Twitter went down last week. I know! Mothereffers*! So while everyone was running around in crisis mode, not knowing who to share their 140 character ideas with, I decided to get to the bottom of it. I googled "Is Twitter down?" and i got a few links, one of which was site which tells you if twitter is down. Another of the links was a funny little site that gave you some ideas what to do while twitter is down, or what happens when twitter goes down etc. Eg. When Twitter is down, make up your own Twitter with household chemicals., When Twitter is down, I don't know who I am anymore.Each time you click, it gives you another message. So I copied one of the messages and went to paste it in my FB status but FB was being a b... uncooperative. So I wonder what if Facebook went down, how would people react. There should be a WhenFBisDown site, so I decided to make a few of my own messages and then try to create a widget, and put it up on my blog. Hopefully no-one steals my idea.

Here are few of my own, that I can think of at the moment. If you can think of any, add them on comments, and I will send you the widget also! Free of charge! (Not like I was planning to charge for it anyway.)

When FB is down, noone cares what you are doing.
When FB is down, there are no uploaded mothereffing baby pics.
When FB is down, noone "likes" everything you say.
When FB is down, the girl you have been stalking, goes on with her life.
When FB is down, go whine to someone who cares.
When FB is down, you realise you have no real friends.
When FB is down, let's conveniently forget this is a free service that doesn't care about our inconvenience.
When FB is down, your company is saving millions on bandwidth.
When FB is down, you can never remember anyone's birthday.
When FB is down, you have no inclination to wish anyone for their birthday.
When FB is down, you consider finally trying out that Twitter thing.

I'll think of more and add them, if and when. Like I said earlier, if you think of any, please add them on as a comment, and I'll add it to my proposed widget.

* - I am euphemising my swearing to prepare for Ramadaan

Till next time in Waseem world.

My Life According to Chevelle

2009-08-03T10:59:00.000+02:00

Got this from Nafisa, it's one of those cool tags you enjoy doing. I chose Chevelle from Korn and Disturbed cos it was alot tougher and Chevelle are my favorite band.

Using only songs from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to whoever you like. You can’t use the artist I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think! Repost as “My Life According to (ARTIST NAME)”.

Pick Your Artist: Chevelle

Are you male or female?
Humanoid

Describe yourself:
Another Know It All

How do you feel?
One Lonely Visitor

Describe where you currently live:
Family System

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Blank Earth

Your favourite form of transportation:
Black Boys on Mopeds

Your best friend is:
Saturdays

Your favourite colour is:
The Red

What is the weather like?
Emotional Drought

Favourite time of day:
Midnight to Midnight

If your life was a T.V. show, what would it be called?
Straight Jacket Fashion

What is life to you?
Tug-O-War

Your relationships:
Well Enough Alone

Your fear:
Forfeit

What is the best advice you have to give?
Prove To You

If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Skeptic

Thought for the day:
Wonder What's Next

How I would like to die:
To Return

My soul’s present condition:
It's no good

My Motto:
Send the Pain Below

I tag whoever wants to do this, it's much harder than it looks.

Till next time in Waseem world.

My Music

2009-07-23T16:16:00.000+02:00

I don't listen to much of my own music lately. I usually listen to the radio on the way to work, and I'm assailed by the tone deaf selection of the sales agent populace outside my office at work. You might think I'm being harsh, but I'm confident that if there is any song in the world that you hate, the sales agent crew has played it. On repeat. For 2 hours straight. Their eclectic taste ranges from Hip hop to R&B and Hindi music, to even the shallowest, dankest depth that is chutney music. I think even East Coast Radio would be better than this musical wasteland.

The one song the sales agent crew seem to love more than other is Pokerface. I have heard Pokerface (give or take) 5 gajillion times (From Nafisa - How do you kill Lady Gaga? You poke 'er face. Something which I dearly would like to do at times). Weirdly enough though every time I hear the song, I seem to think of Azra. There is no real reason for this. And this got me thinking, there are quite a few songs that make me think of people I know when I hear them. Some of the songs I recognise the association with said person, others seem to have no connection to the person whatsoever.

Azra - Any Lady Gaga song.
Saaleha - Flash Republic - Twister.
Nooj - Taylor Swift songs, and Ironic - Alanis Morrisette.
Joe - Robbie Williams and Keane.
MJ - Sami Yusuf
Morena - She always get what she wants - Prime Circle
Parasputin - Tu na ja mere baadsha - Khuda Gawah
OrganHarvester - Seether - Given
Hamza - SOAD, Slipknot, NIN etc.
Queen Lestat - Smashing Pumpkins - Ava Adore
WIP - Nickleback

Actually looking back on it, most of the songs I know why they do make me think of the associated person, except Saaleha with Flash Republic and Azra with Lady Gaga, maybe there's some subconscious thing, which they can remind me about.

Till next time in Waseem World.

Dancing Gir!

2009-06-24T16:12:00.000+02:00

I have lost the need or inspiration to blog, I don't know if this was a gradual thing or a sudden realisation, but I just can't. Even if there was something I would like to write about, I just can't go about writing the actual sentences. My last few posts have been tags, and tags, while sometimes quite interesting, are usually very easy to do. And so I've decided to take a break from blogging until the inspiration comes back. This doesn't apply to Almost News. And cos I didn't wanna leave my last post with something boring as a movie list.

Just for Nooj ...

Tarantallegra!!!

Till next time in Waseem world

No catchy title, it's hometime

2009-05-29T16:47:00.000+02:00

MJ tagged me to do my favorite 25 movies of all time, and considering this blog hasnt had anything going for it in the last couple weeks, why not? The problem is it's really difficult to pick just 25 movies, considering hundreds, maybe even thousands of movies throughout my life. So these are in no particular order, cos you can't really compare comedy to an epic movie. Recently I've found my favorite movies are comedies, I'm not sure why. I think you can tell alot about someone by their choice of movie. Like this one girl I worked with called Mr. Bones 2, the funniest movie she has ever seen. I wrote her off immediately.

So without further ado:

Jurassic Park
Fight Club
Shawshank Redemption
LOTR: Return of the King
Aladdin
Finding Neverland
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Memento
Anchorman: Legend of Ron Burgundy
Zoolander
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Spiderman
Monsters Inc.
The Matrix
The Departed
Training Day
LOTR: The Two Towers
Little Miss Sunshine
American History X
Saving Private Ryan
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind
Gladiator
Brave Heart
Boondock Saints
Home Alone

I'm probably missing out some, I'll come back and comment if I remember more, and replace some.

I would tag Nooj and WIP but they might find this impossible considering how few movies they watch ;P So I'll just tag Trinity and Nafisa if they want it.

Till next time in Waseem world.

No Beyonce Listeners Tolerated

2009-05-12T13:43:00.000+02:00

At this juncture in my life I can't really see myself getting married, let alone having kids. I have my moments of thinking it really is for me, and wondering what my kids would be like. I've even picked out names like most people have, even though the kids matched to those names may be restricted just to my imagination.

So given the above, I found it very difficult to come up with 10 things to impart on my unborn/imaginary kids. But a promise is a promise.

Don't get into debt. If you can't afford it, don't buy it except for few notable exceptions like house or a car, but even then don't spend beyond your means.
Noone is better than you, and you are better than noone.
It is important to have dreams, but don't let those dreams cripple you from achieving other things.
It is not in the end of the world to fail, neither is it the end of the world to not achieve your dreams.
Don't resent your parents for things that they aren't able to provide you with.
A person who has never read a proper book is a person with very narrow horizons.
A real friend doesn't just tell you things you want to hear.
Islam isn't a religion, it isn't something we have to do, it's a way of life that makes us better humans.
Life isn't fair but you should look at people worse off than you when deciding what is fair and what isn't (Something I should practise before preaching.)
If you listen to Beyonce, you will not live in my house.

I tag Azzy cos she's always got bags of advice and WIP cos she says noone tags her.

Till next time in Waseem world

Weird Mind of Waseem 3

2009-05-08T09:06:00.000+02:00

Have you ever wondered about the people in traffic? Like that guy with the BMW Heaven-ZN, where is he going to? And why does he have to change lane every 20 meters? And that lady in the white Jeep, why does she have to hold up everyone just to let the entire next lane change lane(including BMW Heaven-ZN)? And how come the lane you change to automatically becomes the slower lane? Damn deceptive trucks.

Another thing is have you ever noticed when you stuck in traffic, when you eventually get to work, you're the only one who seems to be late?* Where do the rest of the traffic people go to? Don't they get to work late? I wonder if those traffic people really exist, and if their sole purpose is to cause traffic and make you late. Like if you watched Truman show, as soon as he wants to leave the 'city', everyone comes out to block his way and cause traffic.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Is that a pen in your pocket ...

2009-04-21T16:30:00.003+02:00

or do you just really like TellyTubbies?*

* - Note guy on the right

Source: Friend was tagged on this album on Facebook

Till next time in Waseem world.

Hey there De Lille

2009-04-06T09:40:00.000+02:00

I'm returning the compliment to MJ, whose 'Hey there Jameelah' is easily one of his best posts. It's very short cos I had a problem keeping up with the continuity of my theme with the rest of the tune. Forgive the out-of-tuneness.

Hey there De Lille

Hey there De Lille
What's it like in Cape Town city
I'm a thousand miles away
but Ma'am tonight you look so witty
Yes you do
Helen Zille is not as bright as you
I swear its true

Hey there De Lille
Don't you worry about the Democratic Alliance
Tony Leon was a phony
Give the MF another listen
Close your eyes
The Raj could be a blessing in disguise
He could be by your side

Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID
The MF and ID

Hey there De Lille
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me ma'am
The Raj will pay the bills cos he's a star
You'll have it good
You'll have the votes you knew you would
His word is good

Hey there De Lille
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your vote away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with the Raj you'd fall
The Raj'd have it all

Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID
Oh it's the MF and ID

Adapted from Hey there Delilah by Plain White T's

Till next time in Waseem world.

Waseem's Ever Great Food tour of JHB 2009

2009-03-31T16:12:00.000+02:00

I have recently lost the urge to blog and I thought to myself I'm over this blogging thing and I have found much more enjoyment in blogging Almost News than the recent inane meme blogs.

I resolved to let my blog go, but after I received my recent Sitemeter and it informed me that I have on average, 240 visitors a week, I thought it be pretty lousy for them to be greeted by the same crappy posts. So this is an attempt to revive The Ever Great Waseem.

My recent JHB trip was good. Filled with good food, lots of driving, getting lost couple times as well as meeting old and new friends. The food was a real highlight, who knew JHB had such great food joints? Maybe you did but not me. (And who says food joints? Me, apparently.)

So I present to you: Waseem's Ever Great Food tour of JHB 2009

1. Chuckleberrys

Chuckleberrys was the venue for our infamous blogger meet, highly publicised and sparsely attended. I'm not complaining though cos I got to meet 2 of my best blogger friends (who, I think, have been more than just blogger friends for quite a while) and 2 of my favorite plurk buddies. What is plurk you ask? Exactly! Anyway this isn't a blog meet post, it's a food tour post. The menus were unnecessarily heavy, and food choices were vast. I finally settled on sauteed mushroom burger, hoping they had mushrooms and burgers cos for some reason they didn't have much other ingredients, including curry and banana, and other stuff I don't remember. I also ordered a choc fudge milkshake, while Hamza bravely ordered the peanut butter milkshake, and so did Saaleha, in fact their orders were exactly the same. It was like rain on a wedding day. (Actually it wasn't cos it was a coincidence not irony. I just wanted to say rain on a wedding day, which is also not irony.)

The burger was ok, I had a lightweight one, compared to Naeem's middleweight one, which was huge. I think for the price, Wimpy is better, or even McD's for that matter. The milkshake was lousy, so was the peanut butter one, which I tasted from Hamza. You want a great milkshake? Have McD's strawberry milkshake. You remember me talking about great food joints at beginning of post, this wasn't one of them.

2. Groom's House

You know when you go to an Indian house, you HAVE to eat. There is no choice. Especially when they set a whole tressel just for you, holding up all other arrangements. The menu was Kalia and Soji, typical Khatham food. I couldn't stomach any Kalia, considering the ok burger, so I just had some Soji. Soji was good, not too granular, not too sweet, not too oily, just right. I got away with just looking at the Kalia and sipping Cooee Iron Brew thoughtfully.

3. The Wedding

At the wedding, I fell in love. With the dessert tray. I told Hamza, we should bide our time though, dessert would be all the sweeter at the end of the meal. The meal comprised of sweet rice, which I find rather stupid in concept, and chicken biryani. Biryani, alas with basmathi rice. Some people like basmathi rice, I have no idea why, it is an even more stupid concept than sweet rice. I ate my meal with little relish, looking all the more forward to my dessert. We finished our meal and went to wash our hands, and Hamza went outside to smoke, while I gave him company. On our return, disaster struck! Our beautifully assembled dessert tray lay almost barren, pillaged save for few enticing ice cream cupcakes and some healthy-looking fruit cupcakes. We looted the last remnants of the dessert tray, looking longingly, at the immaculately concieved cupcakes and triple choc mousse things of our fellow diners. The ice cream cupcake thing was nice, and the Bar One swiss roll, but it really was a case of what might have been.

4. Spill the Beans

Rather than be assailed by another round of basmathi biryani, we managed to escape the groom's house once more, and our destination was premeditated. Spill the Beans. Pizza.

I knew very little about this place, except for that they served pizza and coffee. The setting was that of a coffee shop, very trendy, if I used the word sheek, I would have said sheek. We ordered a couple of large pizzas, don't remember the names, but they were delicious. Easily the best pizza I've eaten in a long while. The remarkable thing were the hot chocolates we ordered, not the most delicious (Wimpy makes the best far as I'm concerned), but they had these amazing designs on the froth using hot chocolate syrup. It was the food joint of the food tour.

5. Schlotzsky's

Schlotzsky's - funny name, serious sandwich. We had this at Sandton City, I ordered a club sandwich. The best sandwich I've ever eaten. I regret giving half mine to Hamza. I think Subway is overrated, they have great bread choices though. We capped off our JHB eating tour with chocolate minibon. Tasted the same as the one in Durban. I wanted to try Haagen Daz, but it was R21 a scoop, and I was like Fuck that.

We also had Wrap It Up on the way home, but that it was in Harrismith so that is excluded from the Ever Great Food Tour. Sorry Wrap It Up. Thems the rules.

Till next time in Waseem world

Do you know the story about the Zen master?

2009-03-09T16:13:00.000+02:00

I watched Charlie Wilson's War yesterday, and I thought it was a really great movie, and I'm not even that into politics usually. There was one scene especially that I enjoyed.

The scene goes like this
Gust Avrakotos: Listen, not for nothing, but do you know the story about the Zen master and the little boy?
Rep Charlie Wilson: Oh is this something from [name inaudible] the Greek witch of Aliquippa, Pennsylvania?
Gust: Yeah as a matter of fact it is.
“There’s a little boy. Now on his 14th birthday he gets a horse, and everybody in the village says “How wonderful the boy got a horse,” and the Zen master says “We’ll see.”
“Two years later the boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg, and everybody in the village says “How terrible,” and the Zen master says “We’ll see.”
“Then a war breaks out and all the young men have to go off and fight, except the boy can’t cause his leg’s all messed up, and everybody in the village says “How wonderful”…
Charlie: Now the Zen master says “We’ll see.”
Gust: So you get it?
Charlie: No. No, cause I’m stupid…
Gust: You’re not stupid, you’re just in Congress.
(To put rest of the dialogues in context I have to tell you they are celebrating their victory over the Soviet Union in Afghanistan)
Gust: Start with the roads, move on to the schools, restock the sheep herds, give ‘em jobs, give ‘em hope.
Charlie: I’m trying.
Gust: “Try harder”
Charlie: I took you from five million to a billion. I broke this ice on this thing [something] - I got a Democratic congress in lockstep behind a Republican president -
Gust: That’s not good enough. Because I am about to hand you a code-word classified NIE [national intelligence estimate] right now and it’s gonna tell you that the crazies have started rolling into Kandahar like it’s a f’ing bathtub drain.
Charlie: Jesus, Gust, you could depress a bride on her wedding day.
Gust: Hey. Listen to what I’m telling you.
(they hug)
Charlie: You did a hell of a job for the son of a soda pop maker.
Gust: “We’ll see.”

Scene Source

Till next time in Waseem world.

Boredom, thy name is this tag

2009-03-02T16:27:00.001+02:00

Finish the sentence..........

Finish the sentence survey - your turn!
Paste the sentences into a note of your own, change the ... to your answers, then tag awesome people to use it as filler posts

Finish The Sentence Survey

1. My ex... is non-existent. Existentialism is a funny thing.

2. Maybe I should... rethink what i write in the next sentence.

3. I love... big butts, I cannot lie. (Not really, this is just lyrics from a dumb song)

4. People would say that I'm... sweet, but I have a mean sense of humor

5. I don't understand... racism, or any other kind of bigotry for that matter

6. When I wake up in the morning... I snatch at dissolving images of my previous nights dreams.

7. I lost... 30 Kgs. Ask me how. (Does anyone actually fall for this?)

8. Life is full of... amazing moments, it's about making those moments last.

9. My past is... passed. I can only look to the future.

10. I get annoyed when... my friends are trod on.

11. Parties are... not very consequentual in Waseem's world.

12. I wish... Almost News was better received.

13. Dogs... are not my best friend

14. Cats... was this broadway show

15. Tomorrow... never dies.

16. I have... no debt.

17. If I had a million dollars… I would be sleeping right now

18. I'm totally... over this tag.

I tag noone, this tag was boring. (yawn)

Till next time in Waseem world.

Starting a band baby

2009-02-27T10:39:00.000+02:00

I got this from Zahira's blog, and I think its the best tag I've seen in a while.

1 - Go to “wikipedia.” Hit “random” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to “Random quotations”or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days

Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post it to notes and TAG the friends you want to join in - anyone else can join in too

It’s easier that it sounds. Try it!

Now the chicks will know the name of my band, when they're all up on me like they wanna hold hands.

(For those unable to see pic)

Band : Friday's Child

Album Name: Grass wherever you may be.

Pic Source: Culzean Castle Trail

I tag anyone who wants to do this, It's alot of fun.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Dammit...

2009-02-12T10:19:00.001+02:00

...I'm a nerd.

I always thought I was in the middle, not popular, not too geeky. I used to think it is too much hard work becoming a nerd, because there is too much to study and learn. Also I was never much for Star Trek, X-Files and all those cult series'. I enjoyed the occasional episode but I was never obsessed over them.

That was until I read this - The Nerd Handbook. This article is full of indications of a nerd, and almost all of the points deeply resonated with my personality.

1. Understand your nerd’s relation to the computer.
I'm not much of a computer geek, I don't know much about the latest motherboard etc. I know the basics, due to the fact that I'm in IT. I do really love my Xbox though, and all my game consoles I have had before, which I think I could substitute for my PC. Not to the extent of I can't live without my Xbox though.

2. Your nerd has control issues.
I'm not big fan of change, and I'm possessive over the things I do have. Probably attributed to Middle Child Syndrome.

3. Your nerd has built himself a cave.

Well I wouldn't call it a cave as such, it's just the place in my house that you would likely to find me, playing Xbox. I dont know about the clutter having purpose, but it's definitely cluttered.

4. Your nerd loves toys and puzzles

I love puzzles, I used to like You for all those blockbusters they used to have, and I used to love putting puzzles together. I don't do it as much anymore, but I imagine I would have same enthusiasm, but perhaps less patience.

5. Nerds are f---ing funny
Check. Ok this might be bit of boasting I guess, but I think I have great sense of humor.

6. Your nerd has an amazing appetite for information.

I came up with the phrase "To the Google". I like learning new things, random stuff, interesting stuff. My mind is full of meaningless trivia.

7. Your nerd has built an annoyingly efficient relevancy engine in his head.

I guess you can also call it a bullshit filter. Some people babble alot, I don't mean friends, cos with friends babble is cool, but like at work or at meaningless family/social gatherings, it's really handy. Like just now this annoying lady at work told me something, I don't know what she said but I know it doesn't concern me.

8. Your nerd might come off as not liking people.
"Small talk. Those first awkward five minutes when two people are forced to interact. Small talk is the bane of the nerd’s existence because small talk is a combination of aspects of the world that your nerd hates. When your nerd is staring at a stranger, all he’s thinking is, “I have no system for understanding this messy person in front of me”. This is where the shy comes from. This is why nerds hate presenting to crowds." - From the article.

This is so true, and to add to this, I usually don't like most people. I have come to be alot better at social interaction but I still have alot of awkwardness at first.

Till next time in Waseem world.

The roof is on fire

2009-01-26T16:51:00.001+02:00

Inspired by this article.

What's up in this hizzay?

The roof, The roof is on fire.

We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn. Burn, motherfucker, burn.

No, the roof is really on fire.

Oh :-/

Till next time in Waseem world.

Blog Template Predictions

2009-01-23T16:25:00.000+02:00

Read and be amazed. Predictions based on blog template readings.

I predict: Inspired by a Chappies wrapper, Nooj's coworkers will send her into space at the age of 35 in a bid to make her taller. While it does work, Nooj will she find that her height returns to normal once she returns back to Earth. Not disheartened she will continue venture out into space, continually growing and then returning back to normal. The frequent space trips will result in Nooj developing a mild dementia, which will lead to an addiction to novocaine. By the age of 40, Nooj will have removed all her teeth and have a huge dental bill.

I predict: In 2019, a first cousin will be indebted to WIP for saving her a huge amount of money, and pay for a complete kitchen makeover, including granite tops. At first WIP will be somewhat bemused but will later enjoy her time in the kitchen, causing a vast amount of flour to seep into her skin, due to too many baking episodes. WIP will be forced to color her hair red to match her much lightened skin tone.

I predict: By the age of 42, Azra will develop a split personality which will lead a complete double life and run for president under the name Anwar. Unfortunately Anwar will lose to a more forceful candidate, which will be Azra and Azra will become the first female president of the New Botswana.

I predict: MJ's life long dream will come true in 2034, when EA buys 5 of his game ideas and he is able to open his own hair salon, complete with Pakistani masseuses. Disaster will strike later on when MJ decides to open a Singstar Karaoke Centre and he chases away most of his customer base with his dreadful singing.

I predict: In 2029, Kay will inherit an entire fleet of red double decker buses. However due to her cavalier bus schedules, her passengers will revolt and picket outside her bus depot. In a rare moment of rage, Kay will drive into the picketing mob. Noone is hurt but she will be sentenced to 15 years of prison for intent to cause grievous bodily harm. Kay will be let out after a week due to good behaviour and will transform her entire fleet into low cost housing which she will distribute to her almost victims.

I predict: After the birth of her 5th child, at the age of 38, Dew will decide to go into Bollywood movies. Dew will star in her first movie opposite Shah Rukh Khan, and while the movie will recieve critical acclaim, it will flop at the box office due to the audiences' unwillingness to accept an actress named Dew Drops. Dew will leave Bollywood and proceed to have 5 more children and a further 32 grandchildren.

I predict: In 2028, saaleha.com will become so big that Google will feel threatened and launch a technological attack against the hugely popular site, which will lead to the first WWWW (World Wide Web War). saaleha.com will be forced to ally with Microsoft and Yahoo and together they will be able to bring the Google giant to its knees. Not satisfied, saaleha.com will quickly dispatch with Microsoft and Yahoo in their weakened state, and changes the face of the internet forever to this(This is a link).

Till next time in Waseem world.

John & Mary - Wedding Invitation

2009-01-09T16:50:00.002+02:00

This is a wedding invitation we received recently. I am still awestruck by its stupidity. The names and details have been changed to protect the dumb, but the rest of it is word for word.

John: Mary, lets fulfill the Sunnat of our Rasoolalah (SAW) and get married.

Mary: Alhamdo- Lilah - Allah has bestowed his blessing upon us. When will this auspicious day be?

John: On Friday, 9th January 2009 at the Piet Retief Hall.

Mary: What time will the Nikah take place?

John: After Asr, 17h45 at the Piet Retief Mosque.

Mary: What time will I meet my guests at the hall?

John: At 17h00.

Mary: What about supper?

John: Supper will be served at 18h30.

Mary: Jazakallah, may Allah bless us on this precious day.

John: Insha Allah Ameen.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Does anyone remember this movie?

2009-01-07T13:18:00.001+02:00

It was aired on MNET, during the good old days of KTV holiday movies. It was probably shown in the late 80s, early 90s, but maybe it was actually released before that, cos in those days MNET were not as up to date as they are now.

The movie was about a boy with a magic pencil. The pencil was long, flat and blue, and whatever he drew was able to come to life. The incident I remember was him drawing a rhino. The drawings came to life as drawings, not the actual creature itself, so it was like a piece of wall shaped like a child's representation of a rhino, not an actual rhino. I think the movie was about someone trying to steal the pencil away from him.

I doubt it will be as wonderful as I remember it though, I think when you are younger you tend to hype things up. Like Nightmare on Elm Street when I was younger was the scariest thing in the world. It gave me nightmares for weeks. Yet when I watched it when I was 20ish or so, it seemed so poorly made.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Memes

2009-01-02T16:45:00.000+02:00

I got this from Azra, and although I've done this on FB already, I just felt like blogging this as well. Maybe the Meme will lead to inspiration

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you?
Again & Again - Keane (Perfect Symmetry)

Will I have a happy life?
The Cell - Butterfly Effect (dunno album)

What do my friends really think of me?
Attack – 30seconds to Mars (not sure)

What do people secretly think of me?
Fight for life – Soil (not sure again, i should just omit this part)

How can I be happy?
only one– lifehouse (no name face(yay i know one))

What should I do with my life?
Revolution Cry – Lifehouse (i think this is just a b side- not released)

Will I ever have children?
Chapter one – Lifehouse (Lifehouse - is it gay how much lifehouse i have?)

What is some good advice for me?
Walking away – Lifehouse (Lifehouse - damn this winamp, cant you shuffle better)

How will I be remembered?
Mudpie – Lifehouse (No name face - this is getting ridiculous now)

What is my signature dancing song?
The Corner – Staind (The new album whatever its called - this is so true, i dont dance, my signature dancing song would be standing in the corner)

What do I think my current theme song is?
Someones in the wolf - Queens of the stone Age (dunno album, what does this even mean)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
She is – The Fray (How to save a Life - bugger everyone else)

What song will play at my funeral?
Not afraid – Earshot (the first album - ooh nice one)

What type of men/women do you like?
Freak on a leash – Korn (follow the leader - hahaha)

What is my day going to be like?
On a day like today – Keane (dunno album - this is very obscure)

Im not sure if this is supposed to be in order, I didnt put it in order, thats difficult.

4 Places I Go to Over and Over Again
4. KFC
3. Overport City
2. That shop near my house to buy bread
1. Gateway

4 People Who Mail Me Regularly
4. Facebook Application notifications
3. Blogger
2. Zahira - she always got someone looking for lift or apartment or something
1. News...

4 of My Favourite Places to Eat
4. KFC
3. Milky Lane
2. Nandos
1. Spur

4 Places I’d Rather be Now
4. Sleeping
3. Playing xbox
2. Watching a movie
1. Having icecream

4 Favourite TV Shows
4. Whose line is it anyway
3. Malcolm in the middle
2. Simpsons
1. Invader Zim

4 Movies I Could Watch Again and Again
4. Jurassic Park
3. LOTR 2 or 3
2. Anchorman
1. Andaz Apna Apna

The Best

2008-12-31T11:59:00.001+02:00

I usually like to focus on the good on this blog, so I have decided to blog my favorites of this year. Only the best, none of the worst. Also cos I can't think of anything else to blog, and seems to be trend to do overview of 2008 in blogs.

Favorite Song: Kings of Leon - Closer
I first heard the Sex on Fire song on radio, and I thought it was good, but when I later saw Use Somebody on TV, I really wanted this album. So once I got it, I went about my usual way of listening to new stuff, which is to shove it in with everything else, and wait for it to come up on shuffle. When I heard Closer I instantly took to it, and hoped against hope that Telkom don't make an ad using it (Like they recently did with Travis' Closer)

Favorite Movie - The Dark Knight
I coulda been less cliche and said something else, the truth is this was the best movie I have seen this year. Heath deserves a posthumous Oscar, though I doubt Best Actor would come from a mainstream movie. My other 2 favorite movies of this year were Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express. I hope James Franco gets an award for his performance in Pineapple Express as well.

Favorite Game - GTA IV
This was a tough one, but i think in terms of entertainment value, this was best game of the year, as well as cos it is the only 10/10 games I know. Sure there are faults but they are negligible.

Favorite Blog - saaleha.com
Saaleha has got her mojo back, maybe it is the marriage :) I also like my almost news blog, but that would be nepotism.

Favorite Post Of Mine - The Char Knight
It took me all of 15 mins to write and even though it might seem outdone, the whole indian humor thing, I really enjoyed it and find myself laughing at it even to this day. Another favorite post of mine was Chronicles of Arabiya.

Happy New Year Everyone.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Happy birthday Qdee

2008-12-12T09:53:00.008+02:00

Happy birthday Qdee, one of the best friends I've met through blogging.

Till next time in Waseem World

McKhathams

2008-12-11T15:35:00.000+02:00

If you read my previous post (which I imagine most might not have, cos it was a while back), Harry Potter and the Esale-E-Sawaab, you would know I'm not a big fan of khathams. I have been for a few since that post and my opinion hasn't changed. I have become more cynical about the whole event in fact. Like what is the point of throwing rosewater during salaami? I don't see any purpose in it. Can someone perhaps help with a possible reason? I googled, I found nothing.

I think khathams would be alot more fun if they McDonaldise it. I got the idea from a recent MJ post where he mentioned McMarriage. I don't think a McMarriage would work though cos no bride would want a wedding in McDonalds, but khathams could work, cos they're mostly about food anyway. Your average McKhatham meal would be a choice between McKalia or McDhalghos, beverage would be either McJuice with leaves in it or McCheap Coke substitute, and rounded off (or started off) with my favorite McKheer or McSoji. The Happy Meals would be called Barakah Meals, and the free toy would be a tasbeeh, and also come with a small piece of chanamagaj/burfee.

Hmm, actually I don't see how the khatham would be more fun, except the eating part. Anyway...

Till next time in Waseem world

How to tell if your blogger friend is a stalker

2008-12-01T15:16:00.003+02:00

While gift shopping yesterday, I found an awesome book entitled 'HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYFRIEND IS THE ANTICHRIST', and I would have bought it for the person I was gift shopping for except that the book cost about R140, which for a quirky 100 page book seemed pricey to me, nevertheless i enjoyed the little bits that I had managed to read. It had other tips also like 'How to tell if your boyfriend is an Extraterrestrial' and 'How to tell if your boyfriend is actually twins', and a number of others.

Here's an example of one:

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYFRIEND
IS SUFFERING FROM AMNESIA

Surprisingly little baggage.
Simple name (i.e., Bob Spoon, Jack Jackson).
You found him wandering the streets with a bandage on his head.
Honestly perplexed about the origin of his tattoo.
Doesn’t think he’s ever loved like this before.

Should you break up with him?

Are you kidding? He’s a clean slate. You can dress him how you like, you choose all the movies, and he has no annoying friends or family. Jackpot! The only potential downsides are: (1) he could regain his memory, and with it, some control of the relationship; and (2) his family and/or friends may find and reclaim him. But they might not recognize him with the new makeover you gave him. Keep him while you can.

So I decided to do one of my own, but specialise it for blogs, I can only think of one at the moment, but I will add them on to my blog as I think of others.

I call it 'How to tell if your blogger friend is a ...'. My first entry will be

How to tell if your blogger friend is a stalker

He/She is always the first to comment on your post.
Your post is always the best thing he/she has read in their entire life (even if its pasted song lyrics)
Comments always contain 'Lol Thats so true', or 'Lol where do you come up with these.'
He/She has accosted you or invited you on facebook with the opening line 'Hey, aren't you that guy/girl with that blog , lol I love it.'
He/She takes personal offence to your non-posting.
He/She has your URL engraved on his/her arm.

Should you de-link them?

Well their blog is probably a homage to you anyway, but you should de-link them and then remove every manner of communication (address, email, cell number etc.) out of your blog. But there are probably gonna come to a blogmeet someday and snip of a piece of your hair and use it to help them sleep at night. Best idea would be to delete your blog and move over to wordpress with the penname Jose Antonio Goncalves (Maria for the girls).

Till next time in Waseem world.

Summer Of Our Discontent

2008-11-18T16:48:00.003+02:00

It's raining. Again. I don't remember a time when it wasn't raining. This is probably the dreariest summer we have ever had. Normally I like the rain and cold, but it has gotten so bad that I am actually longing for the sun. Something we Durbanites have taken for granted and some of us, like me, even cursed it. For some reason the rain seems to come, interspersed with misery.

The worst of it was definitely last Friday. I was going to do an almost news on the storm, and personifying the storm as the Xmen character Storm, then I decided it was perhaps in poor taste, due to the fact the heavens truly opened for some unfortunate kids.

This post is un-Waseem-like. I don't care. It's still raining.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Ya Ayyahul Name Changes

2008-11-05T12:37:00.001+02:00

We (Masood, MJ and I) were going home yesterday via North Coast Road, which has now changed names to Chris Hani Road, and Masood thought aloud "Why didn't they just change the name to animal names. Surely noone would have issue with Leopard Street." A good point, but I think the whole reason for the name change was to immortalise the names of people who were involved in the apartheid struggle. I could be wrong, cos I don't recognize half the names, but that could be due to my own limited knowledge on the apartheid struggle.

I have few issues with the name change, besides the confusing aspect, and non-acknowledgement of the new names, my main issue is the unnecessary amounts of money used for sign boards etc. The community would be better served by building more homeless shelters, or finding more ways to increase employment opportunities. A beggar doesn't care if he is begging at Florence Nzama or Prince Alfred.

Anyway I proffered to the guys, maybe we should get our streets to be sponsored, like change the name of West Street to Coca Cola Street. That way Coke can pay for all the name change costs and its good advertising for them (not that they need it). Masood said maybe then we will get some really rich guys sponsoring their own streets, like personalised numberplates. Eg. MO786 Avenue, 4U2NV Grove etc.

Another funny thing regarding the street name change, one Friday lecture, the lecturer was highlighting all the current the plight of the Muslims, and how it was a punishment for us due to us disobeying Allah. One of our current problems that he highlighted was the street name changes. Ok I know the street name changes are annoying, but I seriously doubt they are a punishment from Allah for our sinful ways. Allahu Alam

Till next time in Waseem world.

My Ummah

2008-10-29T15:07:00.000+02:00

Alot has been said recently about the negatives of the recent Sami Yusuf concert. Alot has been said about music being haraam, and this specific brand of music being more haraam than other seemingly worse vices. But I have decided to focus on the positives and bring to light the bright side and benefits I have received from the concert.

The concert has got me listening to Islamic music, and really appreciating and enjoying it.
The concert and the music has given me a spiritual boost that has gotten me through a tough couple of days.
The road trip was a good bonding experience.
At the best of times, the concert was an amazing and unique zikr.
I got to meet a few blogger friends again. Saaleha, who looked radiant, Nooj, who looked taller, BB, who looked shorter.
Listening to the car radio, I find myself making Zikr and sending Durood.

Here's the lyrics of my current favorite Sami Yusuf song. Pertinent to the post in a few ways.

My Ummah by Sami Yusuf

My ummah, my ummah
He will say
Rasulullah on that day
Even though we've strayed from him and his way

My brothers, my sisters, in Islam
Let’s struggle, work, and pray
If we are to
Bring back the glory of his way

CHORUS:
Ya Allah ya rabbal ‘alamin
Ya rahmanu ya rahim
Ya rabbi

Let the Ummah rise again
Let us see daylight again
Once again

Let’s become whole again
Proud again
’Cause I swear with firm belief in our hearts
We can bring back the glory of our past

My ummah, my ummah
He will say
Rasulullah on that day
Even though we strayed from him and his way

Look at where we were
And look at where we are
And tell me
Is this how he’d want it to be?
Oh no! Let us bring back our glory

CHORUS

Till next time in Waseem world.

Pushing Daisies

2008-10-21T16:04:00.001+02:00

I was intrigued by the premise of the show Pushing Daisies even before I saw the show.

Pushing Daisies centers on the life of Ned, a pie-maker gifted with the mysterious ability to bring dead things back to life by touching them. There are a couple of conditions to this somewhat unwanted talent, however. Ned quickly learns that if something is revived for more than exactly one minute, something of similar "life value" in the vicinity drops dead, as a form of balance. Additionally, if he touches the revived thing a second time, it falls dead again, this time permanently.

From Wikipedia

When I watched the show, the main attraction was its charm. The show just seems to be more colorful and cheerful than anything I have watched recently. The aspect I enjoy the most is the using of Ned's powers to solve murder cases. As the saying goes 'Dead men tell no tales' but CSI has altered this belief somewhat. Pushing Daisies takes it a bit further. In Pushing Daisies, the victim is actually questioned to assist the investigation. Usually they are unaware of their assailant and not much can be communicated in a minute, but it is an enjoyable minute nonetheless.

I wondered to myself if I could bring back to life any person (recently dead) for just 1 minute who would i choose? The first person that came to mind was ... Heath Ledger. Maybe the conversation would go something like this...

*touch* Hey Heath, I loved you as the Joker, I didn't really expect you to be better than Jack Nicholson...You're welcome, so why did you do it? The overdose?...Oh yeah, must be a tough life, Oscar nominee, lead in the 2nd biggest money maker of all time ... Yup, didn't beat Titanic though. Can you say 'Why so serious' for me one time?...Ok, thanks, bye.*touch*

Till next time in Waseem world.

Goldilocks and the Three Bears

2008-10-13T12:03:00.000+02:00

I think when we are children we take everything for face value. That is probably the greatest blessing of being a child, lack of cynicism i.e. innocence. That is the reason kids should not rush to grow up. As you grow older you begin to doubt and suspect and poke fingers at, to the point of which, some people even resent other peoples innocence.

Anyway ... back to my point of taking stuff at face value ... We never analyzed the fairytales and nursery rhymes that we read. Well I know I never did. Recently I was thinking about Goldilocks and the Three Bears (don't ask why) and there were some things I realised. I'm sure everyone has read the story and know it quite well. If you haven't ... Wow, your parents must not have loved you too much. Anyway here is a link to a succint version of the story.

Here is my grownup analysis of Goldilocks

Goldilocks was a very intrusive person, as well as very fussy, she must have been Indian.
Why didn't Mother Bear make one pot of porridge instead of 3 different bowls? The different heat suggests they were made at different times.
Goldilocks must have been really fat to break the Baby Bears chair.
Mother Bear and Father Bear must have been having marital problems, considering they were sleeping on separate beds.
Those bears had horrible reaction time. She had time to jump up and scream Help and run away and they didn't do anything.
Bears can't talk.

Till next time in Waseem world.

The Monkeysphere

2008-10-07T15:17:00.000+02:00

We were at the graveyard on Eid Day, and we met a guy we knew. After exchanging greetings, my cousin, Aadil asks him where's his father. Guy says his father is in Richards Bay, with his granny, his granny who he says doesn't look like is gonna make the day. I took the news with a solemn look, I have never met his granny in my life. I didn't even know his granny was still alive for that matter. As we walk back up to the car, Hamza mumbles to me 'She isn't in our monkeysphere'.

'What? WTF is a monkeysphere?' I promptly asked Hamza.

'You see,' Hamza began. 'The size of a monkey's brain shows the size of the monkey groups the monkeys formed. The bigger the brain, the larger the group. On average they deduced that the group size was around 50. So basically any monkeys out of that 50, the monkey won't give a shit about.'

So I guess we don't have to worry about Planet of the Apes happening anytime soon, but it goes further.

Apparently the human brain has a monkeysphere of 150. So basically anyone out of that, we don't really care too much about. Hence since guy's granny was out of monkeysphere, her death meant/would mean nothing to us(still don't know if she is still alive).

You might be thinking "Hey, thats rubbish, I care about people. I march for Palestine etc." Well would you rather have your best friend/ love interest / brother die over a busload of Palestinians? Think about it.

I remember in Spiderman 1, in the movie, Green Goblin gives him a choice, busload of kids or Mary Jane. He chooses both, cos they had a huge kid following. In comic canon though when he was given choice he chose busload of kids and his love interest, Gwen Stacy, died. How many of us would make that choice? I know I wouldn't. I guess with great power comes great responsibility.

Joseph Stalin said "One death is a tragedy. One million deaths is a statistic." (They have this on loading screen of Call of Duty 2 when you die.)

Till next time in Waseem world.

Concerning MJ

2008-09-30T10:34:00.002+02:00

This blog is endorsed by MJ, and if it were Gateway, he would order horrible Thai food at it, and if it were a Smackdown game, he would get beat down in it. The reader is now considered to be as awesome as MJ and enrolled into the people who MJ digs club. Happy Birthday son.

That picture sucks, but I was stuck trying to find a good one, I'm not very photogenic.

Random MJ fact : NMJ hall is named after MJ, no-one knows what the N stands for.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Eid Carol

2008-09-29T15:32:00.000+02:00

On the first day of Ramadaan, my mother gave to me

A Puri Patha for Iftari.

On the second day of Ramadaan, my mother gave to me

Two Chana Puri

And a Puri Patha for Iftari.

On the third day of Ramadaan, my mother gave to me

Three Half Moon

Two Chana Puri

And a Puri Patha for Iftari.

On the fourth day of Ramadaan, my mother gave to me

Four Chicken Pies

Three Half Moon

Two Chana Puri

And a Puri Patha for Iftari.

On the fifth day of Ramadaan, my mother gave to me

Five Mince Samoosas

Four Chicken Pies

Three Half Moons

Two Chana Puri

And a Puri Patha for Iftari.

On the sixth day of Ramadaan, my mother gave to me

A mild case of indigestion

Five Mince Samoosas

Four Chicken Pies

Three Half Moons

Two Chana Puri

And I missed the night's Taraweeh.

I didn't wanna go on for too long, else it would get a bit boring, and also I was running out of savouries. Eid Mubarak everyone.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Riddle me this ...

2008-09-16T15:48:00.003+02:00

A riddle I found on the net, while I try to come up with another post. Try not to google.

Ten soldiers dressed in white, dead on the field, killed by three eyes, black as night.

What happened?

And here's one I got from parasputin.

Knowing there was no-one home, the caretaker of an apartment building called the police and the (sole) tenant to attend because he heard crashes coming from one of the apartments.
The police and the resident entered the apartment to find the bodies of Romeo and Juliet on the floor. The door was locked from the inside, and the only clues to be seen were broken glass and water on the floor. Nothing was out of place in the apartment other than the bodies.

What happened?

Till next time in Waseem world

Current addictions

2008-09-11T10:14:00.000+02:00

I have been tagged by Zahira and Khadija to do this current addictions post. To be honest I don't think I have any addictions, maybe a few things I do obsessively, which maybe could be classified as addictions. The other problem is, while couple maybe considered current, the others aren't but I will ignore this fact since Nooj chose sleep and Khadija chose procrastination, they definitely are not current.

1. Gmail Mobile - I check my mail on my phone almost every other hour when I'm away from my PC. It's not like I get lots of mail, just some obsessive thing that I do, it's become a habit. Maybe this can be classified as an addiction.

2. Plurk (Mobile and on the net) - For some reason I didn't feel like doing the twitter thing, it never appealed to me. For some reason I really like plurk, I have no reason, but it does seem better than twitter in my opinion.

3. Going through old messages - I tend to go through old emails, smses and messages as a way of reminiscing, it isnt so much an addiction but once I start, I can't seem to stop.

4. Sleep - Ok I'm borrowing this one from nooj, but my reason is different, I love sleep cos I can dream, and dreams allow me to do stuff I can't do in reality.(like fly)

5. Blogs - They seem to have gone off the boil a bit now, but there are some good new(read: recently found) blogs, and couple of my favorites are still going strong.

This is the part where I tag people, but instead of tagging people in hopes of them doing it, I'm just gonna use the tag as way of birthday greetings, cos I know these people are not likely to do this tag.

I tag !joe! (Happy Birthday!), R (Hers is towards end of the month), Delon (The guy who started me on blogging), MJ (The guy who has kept me blogging).

Till next time in Waseem world

Ramadaan E-card (updated)

2008-09-08T10:02:00.001+02:00

Saaleha's now incredibly popular post inspired me to create an e-card of my own. My Char Knight was still in a fledgling stage, so I didn't want to push it down, cos people tend not to read older posts for whatever reason that is. And since my fasting brain seems unable to string sufficient sentences together, I decided to post this up. Maybe I will be plagiarised too. A guy can dream.

I had some time to come up with couple more.

And for all you MJ fans, heres a couple he came up with and sent to me.

Till next time in Waseem world

The Coveted

2008-09-01T12:45:00.000+02:00

There they were, sitting neatly in a pile, beside the newsletters and various other members of the pamphlet family. I know, in a few minutes, that will change. Their fate was predestined, another inevitability in this world. I give them a longing look, hoping against hope that one of them will be mine.

I walk into the mosque and look around for possible competition to the object of my affection. The mosque isn't full today, perhaps people will sidle in later. I will have to take that eventuality into consideration. A few of the patrons pass backward glances, I know where their gaze falls. The call to prayer sounds; the coveted lay forgotten.

The prayer ends, and my mind goes back to the coveted. I look behind me to see the rows of competitors filing out. Surely there will be none left for me, but I have to try nonetheless. An overly friendly brother cuts me off to embrace me. 'Who be hugging for Maghrib Salaah,' my somewhat ebonic subconscious ponders. Surely a distraction. Embracing brother must have an accomplice outside who is collecting one for him.

Embracing brother leaves. I slowly make my way to the back of the mosque with just a smidgen of hope. Alas there seem to be but only the cheap ones, the ugly cousins. I dejectedly look for the least ugly cousin. And there under the sea of read and discarded pamphlets, I find it. The Perfect Ramadaan Timetable (The tear each day kind).

-----

This is work of fiction but I do love finding those tear each day Ramadaan timetables.

Till next time in Waseem world.

The Char Knight

2008-08-21T09:12:00.002+02:00

Warning - This post contains spoilers. And yes I know MJ already did a Batman Parody, but he challenged me to do better after I critiqued his. Competition is the something something of something (can't remember the quote)

---------

Meeting of the Dons of Chatsworth, chaired by the Golden Jewellers Lani, Richou Singh.

Richou: Bra’s we gathered here today to chune where must hide all the crown and how we can dalla the Batman. Does anyone know who he is, so we can find out where he bly and chune his ma?

2 Cents Seelan: Ya bra, he vyed school with me, his house name is Batmendren, but everyone call him Batman for short.

Lucker Lesley: That don’t make sense ekse, why they don’t call him Batmen then?

2 Cents: It make cents bra, how your name Woolaganathan and we call you Lesley.

Richou: Enough ou’s, we need to work together and dalla him one time. Who got one plan?

Everyone is silent, cos they all skrik for the Batman. Suddenly this bra comes with span Kaajal in his eyes and white Huldi on his face, and red mendhi on his lips.

Joker: I got one plan ous, gee me half the crown I’ll chune you’ll how it vys.

Richou: Bra, who you? I chuned the ous at Savera to make the sign say only Dons must come.

Joker: I’m the Joker ekse, you never hear of me before?

Richou: I take out jokers when I play thunee. Anyway you said you got a plan. Chune chune.

Joker: Ha ha, bra you gee me half your money I’ll dalla Batman for you, and I’ll chune the plan.

Richou: How about I give 5 grand and new Samsung U700?

Joker: Ha ha, and I thought I was the Joker. Samsung’s ma. Gee me one Nokia N95 8gig ekse.

Richou: No stock. Ok check yer, I’ll give you quarter the crown, half loaf beans bunny and Liverpool shirt from Workshop fleamarket.

Joker: OK shot, here’s the plan.

Span stuff happens, one two ous vret, and Joker chune he will kill more ous if Batman don’t come. So this bra Harvey Dent (Pragasen) chune he Batman, but it’s a setup and they catch the Joker, but his ous manage to kidnap Rachel (Devagie) Dawes, Batmans stekkie, and Harvey Dent (Pragasen), his bra, but he also Devagie’s outie, it’s a love triangle like Kuch Kuch. So Batman vy to work Joker for him to chune where he hiding them.

Batman: Joker, where you hiding Devagie and Pragasen and all, chune before I bust you up. Hold me back, Hold me back.

Joker: Ekse, I know wheres Devagie and I know wheres Pragasen but I don’t need this all and all?

Batman: Oh ya you. So what you saying Dad, you know where they are?

Joker: You check it’s like this, you know Naidoo’s tuckshop, you come by this one right, right? Don’t take that right, take the next right, right? Then vy straight until you come by one jackfruit tree. Then vy back little bit and take your left, right? And Devagie is by the posse next to the Litchis tree.

Batman: Oh Selvan’s posse. And Pragasen?

Joker: That ou parking by on the roof of Chatsworth Main. But chune me, why you smaak that Devagie so much? Her face like one bulldog.

Batman: I smaak for the big ones, you know how it is.

Joker: Oh ya you.

Batman chune his bra Gordon vy save Pragasen and he will vy save Devagie, cos he scheme might get some action. But when he get to Selvans posse, he find Pragasen there and look like someone lit one Indian King by his face. By the time Gordon get to Chatsworth Main, Devagie gets blown up, cos Gordon stopped to buy airtime. Gordon feels swak so he vys to check Pragasen in the hospital.

Gordon: Hey Pregs, how’s it vying?

Pragasen: Gordon chune me plain down how it look?

Gordon: Bra it looks tops, I think I’m gonna burn my face too, it be like the new style.

Pragasen: Gordon, chune me waar or I’ll rub my burnt face on you.

Gordon: Eew. Ok! Ok! It look like one puri one side and patha on the other side.

Pragasen looks bit mal but parks dom little while, then he asks Gordon.

Pragasen: Gordon, chune me what they used to call me back when I was internal affairs? And for waar, or Sathima I’ll wipe my face full on your white shirt.

Gordon: Burnt Face Preggie.

Meanwhile Joker doing one two swak things, and everyone getting skrik and wanna kick it from the city on couple boats.

Joker: This announcement sponsored by Nalis silk saris. Bra’s the boats got one two bombs, and on the boats there are one two detonators if you’ll press it I’ll let you’ll live.

The ous find the detonators and press it but the boats get blown up.

Joker: Ha ha, I popped those ou’s. I’m the don.

Batman finds Joker and chunes him swak at the top of the tower.

Batman: Ey, why you dallaed those ous swak and vat my stekkie too, I’m gonna work you now.

Joker: Bra, I did you a favour, even stekkie’s bru look better than her.

Batman: Ya that’s what you think. Take you madar.

Batman bust Joker up and tie him up, but then he get sms. Please call PREGYGOTMYLITY at 0705346781. No address nothing but he vys to check out Selvan’s posse cos that’s where all the action is.

Pragasen: Batman, its your fault Devagie is dead, for that sake I’m gonna rub my face on this lighty.

Batman: Pregs, loss the lighty, and lets speech fair fair.

They start speeching and vy close to one bank, and Gordon checks them and tries to break it up.

Gordon: Squash the speech, squash the speech.

Batman: Hold me back, hold me back

As Gordon pulls Batman back, Pragasen loses balance and falls to his death.

Batman: Haha that ou caught a drop.

Then he hears the kerels.

Batman: Eish, the polices, lemme vy, sight you Gordon.

Gordon: Ok lucker, ey bra I’m breaking that Batman sign thing, my light bill cameway lot last month.

Batman: Ok, shot.

---------

Till next time in Waseem world.

Top 10 Movies (Circa 2005-2008)

2008-08-18T16:42:00.000+02:00

MJs movie list for the best 10 movies for the last 4 years (2005-2008) was crap, so I decided to blog my list to show him all the movies he missed out on. My judging criteria has entertainment value featuring highly, while good story and dialogue also very important. Im sure MJ and definitely Hamza wont agree with my list, but their ma :). I shortlisted 25 great movies, I struggled to decide a couple but my top 5 were set in stone.

10. Pick of Destiny

I didn't watch this movie till a couple months ago, but I have been singing the songs ever since, to the irritation of some friends even. The best musical I have seen since Little shop of Horrors.

9. 300

This was actually going to be Juno when I started this post last week, but I changed my decision when I thought about both these movies individually, and I was more out of 300. Juno's dialogue was awesome, only Kiss Kiss Bang Bang's dialogue was better from recent movies that I have seen but 300 visually and action-wise and overall entertainment-wise was much better.

8. Lil Miss Sunshine

Lil Miss Sunshine can be described as a dark comedy, yet it had amazing charm and cleverness. The premise of the story is very well put together and put across.

7. Madagascar

When I first watched this movie I thought it was OK, but when I watched it again I marvelled at the little bits I missed on first watch, and on third viewing I found more tidbits of humor (especially by the lemur-like things). This movie gets better on every watch and is now one of my favorite animated movies of all time.

6. Get Smart

This movie is the funniest spy movie I've seen since the Austin Powers movies. I feared maybe another Johnny English but Steve Carrell really pulled through and Anne Hathaway was gorgeous.

5. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Coolest, cleverest movie. I mentioned it before on my blog as one of the best movies you may have never seen. If you like quick-witted dark comedies with an element of suspense KKBB is the pinnacle of that genre.

4. The Dark Knight

Great story and a Joker who will probably go down as best villain in recent memory. Heath Ledger surpassed Jack Nicholson, that is as a great a compliment as I can give.

3. 40 year old Virgin

Best comedy of the last 5 years at the very least.

2. Stardust

Stardust is the perfect amalgamation of romance, fantasy, adventure and charm..

1. The Departed

To coin a phrase 'This movie was Don!'

Till next time in Waseem world.

It's all R&B to me

2008-08-12T11:00:00.001+02:00

Listening to East Coast Radio is like going to a Debs Ball, most of the time. Slow, back in the day songs we have long forgotten and for good reason. It has its plusses though because it carries with it a wave of nostalgia. The rest of the time however they play R&B.

Does anyone remember what R&B supposed to stand for? Cos now its more like Random & Brainless. I probably am guilty of grouping all rubbish songs together so it's all R&B to me. To me, lyrics are the most important part of songs, something R&B seems to totally disregard.

Here are some of the worst lyrics I have had the misfortune of hearing.

50 Cent - 21 Questions

I love you like a fat kid loves cake

Maybe he loves her alot when he has her but when she is gone, he regrets the relationship. Deep.

Shakira - Whenever, Wherever

Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you don't confuse them with mountains

Maybe I should excuse cos English isn't her first language but then why does she sing in it. She has also other nonsensical songs like 'Underneath your skin'.

Gwen Stefani - Sweet Escape

Cause I've been acting like sour milk all on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold?

Gwen Stefani used to rock with No Doubt, well I liked Don't Speak, and she is married to one of the great rockers of our generation, Gavin Rossdale of Bush. So can someone tell me why she has lost her mind?

Jimmy Soul - Happy for the rest of your life

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty women your wife

Ya ... you do that and tell me how it works out for you.

Beyonce - Check on it

Dip it, pop it, twork it, stop it, check on me tonight

I'm not sure if I blogged this before, but I hate Beyonce. Her voice, the way she looks, her attitude, her perfume line, everything. I could have chosen a number of lyrics for her, but this was first one that came to mind. What the hell is a twork?

Sean Paul - Temperature

Gal don't say me crazy now, this strange love it a no Bridgette and Flava show..
Time fi a make baby now so stop gwaan like you a act shady yo...

I copied all these lyrics straight from azlyrics.com, so thats how he actually sings. Why is this guy famous? Noone can understand what he is saying, but maybe it is a small mercy we can't . There is a character in GTA4, Lil Jacob, who talks similarly. He is endearing. This is not. Only thing he is good for is parody.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Batman bandwagon

2008-08-07T15:47:00.004+02:00

Dedicated to Hamish 'Shah Rukh' Pillay for the outstanding achievement of winning the Citizen Book Prize. He was even in the paper. First Top Billing, now this. This man is going places, with his red shirt.

Congrats Hamish.

Till next time in Waseem world.

A turning tide ...

2008-08-04T16:30:00.003+02:00

Poor men have it

Rich men need it

It is more evil than the devil

It is greater than God

If you eat it, you will die.

What is it?

I will delete all correct guesses, if you already know the answer, don't spoil it for everyone. This riddle is not of my own creation, I received it in a mail, and decided to post it. Bonus point if you can guess where the title is from, it is an additional clue.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Take me away

2008-07-31T16:45:00.001+02:00

My attempt at 'flash fiction', it is alot shorter than MJ's prescribed 600 words, and title and end could use some real work. There are three of mandated pop culture references, scattered subtly in the story. I will point them out if it's needed. So for MJ and whoever else who wishes to participate the restrictions will be at least one pop culture reference, less than 600 words, must not have profanity or sexually suggestive themes and ... I can't think of the restriction to add right now, will add later.

-------

His thoughts filtered back to her, just her, nothing else seemed important enough to be thought about. He dwelt on every word she had said to him, even those not meant for him seemed to have some hidden meaning for him. Re-contextualising the shards of memories brought a smile to his face.

'Hey Jimmy.' It was Pete. Pete the Feet. So named because of his unique ability to smell of feet at all times of the day.'You waiting for your girlfriend, Jimmy?' asked Pete, annoyingly dragging his words. 'Pete, I think you need to go over there and count something.' said Jimmy, offhandedly.

He stood there waiting for what seemed an eternity. The one lesson above all else she had taught him was patience, he seemed he was always waiting for her, even it was for just a glimpse. He looked back at the doorway, and almost as if he willed her to walk through, she suddenly appeared, walking towards him.

And then she was next to him, putting her hand in his. The simple contact sent a trill of excitement down his spine. He made a silent wish, to whoever it was that listened to wishes, that this moment could last forever. 'Ah, Jimmy! Miss Havisham!' And the moment was over. 'Jimmy being a good boy for you, Miss Havisham?'

'Of course Mrs Dean, James is my favorite. Bye James, remember to do your homework.'

-------

Till next time in Waseem world

And the winner is ...

2008-07-24T16:44:00.001+02:00

This post started off much differently yesterday. There was no real finality on who would be the winner, cos Saaleha was being diplomatic as ever and I was not sure how I was going to give the prize to nobody. So I considered making my life easier and giving the prize to a runner up but I decided instead to do the honorable thing and request Anonymous to claim his/her entry.

I was honestly surprised at the number and quality of the entries. I would like to firstly thank everyone who participated. We got about 10 entries and most of them were really funny, but one entry, at the real death of the competition, clinched the award of Purple Prose Pro.

That entry was ...

His eyes were automatically drawn towards her, like a blood covered man lying on the road after a car crash. His palms felt sweaty, his heart raced-the only other time he had felt this way was when his flatulence needed to be stifled. He opened his mouth to say Hi, but had forgotten about the Paan he had bit into an hour ago.

Honorable mentions to Parasputin and Mak(Muhammad) for their entries.

The winning entrant was previously thought to be Anonymous but has now identified herself as Morena. ~~I would request Morena mail me her email address at gambit200@gmail.com so that I may mail her the prize.~~

Till next time in Waseem world.

8yr old me vs 25yr old me

2008-07-16T14:45:00.003+02:00

I think as we age, we lose our optimism and we don't enjoy stuff as much as we used to. Like I went for an airshow on Sunday, I thought even though this is lame if I were younger it would be awesome. So here are my disparate takes on the airshow. There are few embellishments in my 8 year old version.

My Day At the Airshow

On Sunday we went to the airshow. It was lots of fun. I saw many helicopters and planes. We had a picnic. I ate pies and milktart. I also drank Coke. My favorite part of the airshow was when the cars raced the plane. The cars won. It was also funny when the big plane got stuck and the people had to push it. We also saw some people coming from the sky even a very old man. My daddy said the old man probably going to go back up to the sky very soon so he shouldn't have bothered. I'm not sure what daddy meant. I wanted to fall from the sky too but my mummy says they don't allow boys who don't eat all their vegetables. I don't like tomatoes :(

---------

To Airshow or not to airshow

I went for the airshow for the first time in years, and to be honest I wasn't that impressed. I wasn't really expecting much though. I came to realise an airshow is basically planes and helicopters flying from one end to another, sometimes they loop or attempt daring stuff (flying higher from side to side). They had a part where cars raced a plane, which the overenthusiastic announcer described as a once in a life thing, but it was such a big ass plane there was no way it had any hope of catching up with cars. Also was a bit where there were a few parachuters, that would have been exciting if you were actually participating. There was this old guy, about 80-something, they said it was his last jump, I wouldn't have been surprised if it was his last breath. Complaints aside, I had a really great time cos it is not what you do but who you do it with.

---------

Still taking entries for the competition, will close maybe end of this week, winning entry to be revealed next week.

P.S. I don't mind tomatoes.

Till next time in Waseem world.

It was a dark and stormy contest : The Purple Prose Pro

2008-07-09T16:30:00.004+02:00

You would be excused if you didn't know who Bulwer-Lytton was, well you would be excused here, because I, myself, only found out what it meant yesterday from Saaleha. Lord Lytton was a popular writer in his day and coined many phrases that we use today viz. the pen is mightier than the sword. None so recognised though as 'It was a dark and stormy night', a phrase so despised by the writing fraternity, the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest was instantiated in it's 'honor'.

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (BLFC) is a tongue-in-cheek contest that takes place annually and is sponsored by the English Department of San José State University in San Jose, California. [Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulwer-Lytton_Fiction_Contest]

So I came up with the idea, with Saaleha, that we should have one of these contests in the blogs. God knows some of us write so terribly at times, so we have the material. The winner will get a special prize that can't be explained in terms of monetary value. Here are a few winners and entries from the 2007 contest to get your brain ticking.

Gerald began--but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently" meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash--to pee.

Jim Gleeson
Madison, WI

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Danny, the little Grizzly cub, frolicked in the tall grass on this sunny Spring morning, his mother keeping a watchful eye as she chewed on a piece of a hiker they had encountered the day before.

Dave McKenzie
Federal Way, WA

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Mary had a little lamb; its fleece was Polartec 200 (thanks to gene splicing, a diet of force-fed petrochemical supplements, and regular dips in an advanced surface fusion polymer), which had the fortunate side effect of rendering it inedible, unlike that other Mary's organic lamb which misbehaved at school and wound up in a lovely Moroccan stew with dried apricots and couscous.

Julie Jensen
Lodi, CA

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The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, not even a sharp knife, but a dull one from that set of cheap knives you received as a wedding gift in a faux wooden block; the one you told yourself you'd replace, but in the end, forgot about because your husband ran off with another man, that kind of knife.

Lisa Lindquist
Jackson, MI

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There was a pregnant pause-- as pregnant as Judith had just told Darren she was (about seven and a half weeks along), which was why there was a pause in the first place.

Tracy Stapp
Santa Ana, CA

------------

I was in a back alley in Fiji, fighting desperately and silently for my life, fighting desperately for oxygen, clawing at the calm and almost gentle pressure of the fabric held over my face by implacable, ebony thighs when I realized -- he was killing me softly with his sarong.

Karl Scott
Brisbane, Australia

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Racing through space at unimaginable speeds, Capt. Dimwell could only imagine how fast his spaceship was going.

Gary Smith
Florissant, CO

----------

You get the idea. There is only one rule: No plagiarism! All entries will be intensely Googled.

Rules Addendum: Basically your entry is allowed to be a paragraph of purple prose i.e. features exaggerated sentiment or extravagant and flowery language(Web definition). In the actual competition it has to be a sentence, preferably an intro sentence, but we don't need no stink'n rules, except the plagiarism one.

You may enter by comment or by email to me at gambit200@gmail.com or Saaleha at saaleha@gmail.com. Entries will be judged by Saaleha and I. Good Luck!

Till next time in Waseem world.

It's not just about sex

2008-07-03T11:00:00.005+02:00

As I commented on LLOs post 'Theory of housewives' earlier - 'This is a good topic, ...' So I would like to add my opinion in post form, if LLO doesn't mind.

As far back as a decade, I would say, it was still easy to live with having just a single breadwinner, for most families at least. But with the increasing costs of everything from school fees to bubblegum, I just don't think it is possible anymore. So working wives are more the norm these days than the exception.

For me, if my wife wanted to work, then it would be her choice, provided that does not hamper her duties towards the family. And this is a two-way thing. My job shouldn't affect my duties towards the family as well. I don't get why people believe that it's a wife's job to bring up the family and husband's job to bring money into the house. So with this ideology, they say 'It's fine, my wife can work, but she must still have time to do housework, look after kids etc.'.

In my un-experienced opinion, marriage is about compromise, it's not just about your rights, it is about mutual satisfaction in the decisions that you make. We had a great talk at the conference about marriage and basically, that like all things, marriage takes time and effort.

Till next time in Waseem world

Top 5 Animated Movie Songs

2008-06-30T14:24:00.005+02:00

I don't really like musicals. Westside Story and Saturday Night Fever etc. isn't for me. There are only few musical movies I have really liked and would consider putting anywhere near my Top 50 movies of all time viz. Little Shop of Horrors and more recently, Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny. There are 2 movies, however, that are definitely in there, and if you think about them, they are just as musical (if not more). They are Aladdin and The Lion King, because they are animated, I guess we don't consider them as musicals. So when MJ did his list of sideline Disney characters, I said that's a crap idea, rather do a list of favorite Disney songs. He said F**k you, do that yourself. So that's what I am doing.

5. Hercules: Go the Distance - Michael Bolton

4. Toy Story: You've got a friend in me - Randy Newman

3. Lion King: Can you feel the love tonight - Elton John

2. Jungle Book: Bare Necessities - Who knows (they probably dead now)

1. Aladdin: Whole new world - Peabo Bryson and some other lady (I liked movie version better)

Till next time in Waseem world.

LOLlion

2008-06-27T15:08:00.003+02:00

Iz in the jungle, talking to your sistaz

This is based on the phenomenon called Lolcats. One of my leftover Narnia pics, that didn't fit in with my Narnia story.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Chronicles of Arabiya

2008-06-21T11:39:00.000+02:00

When I watched Prince Caspian, the new Chronicles of Narnia movie, I noticed the Telmarines seemed to have a very Arabic look about them. That's all it takes for an idea to germinate in my head. Here's how the movie went on in my head. I got the pics from www.allmoviephoto.com.

I am Prince Caspian, I will lead the Telmarines into the new millennium. From Narnia to the Millennium.

We cannot follow you, you don't even keep a beard. Look at our Mashallah fist length beards. You are banished from Narnia for your disregard of the practices.

Your scorn and rebuke has led me to collude with Westerners, ghayr mahrams and short people. (No offense Haamish)

Astagfirullah! Ghayr Mahrams! Lower your gaze or die!

With my Mashallah beard protected, I will defeat you transgressor. Tonight you dine in Jahanam!

It's Asr time!

With my sawaab of reading a timeous Asr, I have managed to defeat you. Any last words?

Jihad!!!

Allahu Akbar!!!

Perhaps we should rethink this Jihad. Verily the Jihad of ones own self is the greater Jihad.

Allahu Alam

Till next time in Waseem world.

Ya Ayyuhal Blogger

2008-06-17T09:49:00.006+02:00

Am i proud to be a Muslim? Yes! What do I do to display that pride though? Nothing really. I mean I don't have a beard, I don't wear a Kurtah all the time, I don't wear a hat to work besides Friday, I'm not a part of any charity organisation, in fact I don't really have that extensive an Islamic knowledge to be honest. Yes, I'm a good person and probably show to people that Islam isn't as bad as people make it out to be, but thats about it.

I went to an Islamic conference (From Medina to Millennium) over the weekend, and what was funny before I went to it is that I thought I would feel out of place. My reason being that my Islamic knowledge is very limited, everything I had learnt prior to couple years ago were through Friday Lectures and the basics in Madressah. Obviously this is my own fault so I attribute no blame to anyone for my ignorance.

The conference was incredibly different to what I expected, moreso because I have never been for any conference before. A conference it seems basically has speakers who come and speak on a set topic and afterwards people ask questions. I expected a more conventiony type thing, so luckily my lack of knowledge wasn't put to test.

I learnt alot and there were alot of mindset changes for me. I couldn't possibly discuss everything I learnt and I think alot of stuff was on a personal level, in terms of self realisation but there were 2 points that resonated with me through the weekend.

1. Humility of the true scholars and ambassadors of Islam
We met Zain Bhika on Friday before he went on stage for his concert. He was the star of the concert yet he spoke to us as equals and with respect. Not only us, but the volunteers who were there to assist him and tend to him.

The sheiks(shayukh it seems is the actual plural of this word) at the conference with their immense knowledge and power were incredibly humble. There are 2 specific people I would like to mention. Firstly, Sheik Salman al Ouda, the main speaker at the conference, whom I feel incredible honored to have seen. He earned the respect of everyone at the conference, I think, with his sensible and detailed answers and talks. Initially the language barrier was a problem but I think Sheik Abu Yusuf did a great job with his translations. Secondly is Dr Ashraf Nasser who after delivering an awesome talk went to sit in the audience as if he was just any ordinary person even though I'm sure the panel would have accepted him with open arms.

I think humility makes people more relatable. If you behave as if you're holier than thou, people are gonna treat you as such, and you don't earn respect, you are given status, which I believe is not the same thing.

2. Islam is wasted on some Muslims
You know that saying that 'Youth is wasted on the young', well similarly I think Islam is wasted on some Muslims i.e. some Muslims don't appreciate the beauty of Islam. It was obvious at the conference that some people seemed to have ulterior motives for being there, which led to the disrespect of the sheiks. If there was one message that resounded in the conference, it was one of brotherhood and unity and that we shouldn't look down on someone for their ideals, color, caste or nationality. Something that alludes the realisation of some people is that your Imaan(faith) is incomplete until you love for your Muslim brother what you love for yourself.

There was one question I wanted to ask regarding the views held by Shiites. Even though I didn't ask it I think I have my answer. We shouldn't argue about the 1% of issues makes us different but rather embrace the 99% that makes us the same and ... Allahu Alam.

Till next time in Waseem world

Zamilooni ... the sequel

2008-06-10T10:54:00.004+02:00

My friend Delon asked me yesterday if my blog is solely used for the adaptation of lyrics. I said, it's not,they just seem to be the post ideas I have. This adaptation is not a parody or poking any fun, it is a sincere attempt at a sequel of sorts. Based on the lyrics 'We look for stories of love, in places dark and cold', I have adapted the lyrics to sorta pay homage to the love of Hazrat Fatima RA and Hazrat Ali RA. I'm not really sure it's all that good, but I tried to be historically accurate. I kept some of the original lyrics, cos it seems to fit in with my idea, and left the last bit (Qasidah Burdah) cos it compliments the original so well, it would feel incomplete without it.

Adapted from Zamilooni by Native Deen
He stepped towards the mosque, he knew he was sincere
The Prophet came with words from God, held with the highest revere
His friends persuaded him to go, that he had nothing to fear
Yet there was a trembling deep inside his heart, unsure of what will occur

There was only one woman for him
The Prophet knew for her, he was right
Light would be married to the light
Fatima would be his wife…

Chorus
He said Zamilooni, Zamilooni, Dathirooni, Dathirooni, (Envelop me, Embrace me)
A mighty task has come before me…
I need you here with me…
By my side…

She was a woman of humility, Syedatun Nisa al Alamin (Leader of the women of the worlds)
Many prominent men had asked for her, they were all turned away
But she accepted Hazrat Ali, one of the First, because of the beauty she saw in his soul
He was a light for her – so right for her – her life will now be whole

But he seemed to be so distressed, about the mehr he had to pay
But to make Fatima his wife, he would give even his armor away

Chorus

Bridge…
We look for stories of love, in places dark and cold
When we have a guiding light, for the whole world to behold
But we're so selfish in our ways, to the ones we hold so close
Our own pleasure and happiness is what we value most

But she gave him love and loyalty, and everything she had
And he honored her, they upheld each others faith,
when the times were bad, the times were bad...

Now years have passed, times have changed, since Fatima breathed her last.
And the Message of the one true God, was spreading far and vast
But when he cleansed her body and saw the mark, that Fatima had bore
His eyes began to swell with tears, his heart began to mourn

Cause she was there for him, when times were rough, and his friends were in doubt
She was a loving mother, a perfect believer, and a wife so devout

Chorus

Mawlaya salli wa sallim da’iman abada
'Ala habibika khayril khalqi kullihimi...(X4)
Rasullullah,Habiballlah,Shafiallah,Nabiallah

Till next time in Waseem world.

The Demon Code Prevents Me ...

2008-06-09T09:12:00.004+02:00

The Beelzeboss scene in Tenacious D has to be one of my favorite scenes of all time, it just drips awesome. Perhaps I should do a favorite movie scene post, not today though.

I watched the movie (Pick of Destiny) twice in the last 2 weeks, and the song (Beelzeboss) seems to have super-glued itself onto my cranium. Not a very good thing, considering the lyrics, because when you're belting out 'Wait, Wait, wait you motherfucker!', people tend to stare. So I've decided to blog the lyrics and c-box them in order to flush it out.

Behold the awesomeness:

Warning: Lyrics has lots of profanity, avoid it if that isn't your thing

"Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)"

Beelzeboss

[Beelz] I am complete!

[Both] Fuck!

[Beelz] yes you are fucked, shit out of luck
now I'm complete and my cock you will suck
This world will be mine and you're first in line
you brought me the pick and now you shall both die!

[JB] Wait! Wait! Wait!
you motherfucker
we challenge you to a rock off!
give us one chance to rock your socks off

[Beelz] Fuck, fuck, fuck
the demon code prevents me
from declining a rock off challenge
what are your terms? what is the catch?

[JB] If we win, you must take your sorry ass back to hell.
and also you will have to pay our rent

[Beelz] And what if *i* win?
[JB] then you can take Kage back to hell...
[KG] What?
[JB] trust me Kage, its the only way,
[KG] What the fuck are you talking about?
[JB] to be your little bitch.
[Beelz]
Fine! Let the rock off begin!ha ha
I'm the devil i love metal!
Check this riff it's fucking tasty
I'm the devil i can do what i want,
whatever i got I'm gonna flaunt,
there's never been a rock off that I've ever lost
i cant wait to take Kage back to hell
I'm gonna fill him with my hot demon gel
I'll make him squeal like my scarlet pimpernel

[JB] No!
c'mon Kage bring the thunder
[KG] there's just no way that we can win,
that was a masterpiece.
[JB] listen to me
[KG] he rocks too hard because he's not a mortal man
[JB] goddamn-it Kage,
he gonna make you his sex slave,
you're gonna gargle mayonnaise
unless we bust a massive monster mama-jam.
[KG] dude, we've been through so much shit,
[JB] deactivated lasers with my dick
[BOTH] now its time to blow this fucker down!
[JB] C'mon Kage now it's time to blow doors down
[KG] I hear you Jables now it's time to blow doors down
[JB] Light up the stage cause its time for a showdown
[KG] We'll bend you over then we'll take you around town
[BOTH] Now we've got to blow this fucker down
[KG] He's gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down
[JB] C'mon Kage cause it's time to blow doors down
[KG] Oh we'll piledrive ya, it's time for the smackdown
[JB] Hey anti-christ-er, Beelzeboss,
we know your weakness our rocket-sauce
we rock the casbah, and blow your mind
we will defeat you, for all mankind
you hold the scepter,
we hold the key
you are the devil,
we are the D [18x]

[Beelz]
You guys are fuckin' lame. Come on Kage, You're coming with me.
Taste my lightning fuckers!

[Tenacious D:]
[JB] NO!

[Beelz]
ow! Fuck!
My fuckin' horn!
oh no!

[JB] From whence you came you shall remain,
until you are complete again

[Beelz]
No! Fuck you Kage and Fuck you Jables!
I'll get you Tenacious D!

The funny thing about the movie is that even though every song has the words 'fuck' or 'suck cock' in it, you don't get any sense of vulgarity. I watched the movie with my parents in the room but I didn't feel awkward except for the bit when he deactivated lasers with his dick.

By the way, for the sake of it, Happy Birthday to Hamza and my sister Shaista for today. I would have dedicated a post to Hamza, but he isn't one for fanfare. He's like 'Argh! Presents! Argh! Cake! Argh! Birthday!'

Till next time in Waseem world

10 things that suck about blogs

2008-06-05T14:00:00.003+02:00

1. Evil anonymous commentors
Although I don't seem to get them, my friends' blogs seem to have an abundance of them, especially MJ, R and Haamish. Guys who seem to think they can live your life better than you. I think they do it just to get a reaction but they can be hurtful at times.

2. Copy and Paste
There is nothing wrong with copying stuff as long as you quote your source, else it becomes something people like to call Plagiarism. We post in the 'bullshit' blog, stuff that we find, but we don't claim it to be our own. There is no point in having a blog if you're just gonna plagiarise other peoples ideas and/or work.

3. Guys who use blogs as way to flirt
A girl will write a weak 5 line post and you'll get few comments along the lines of 'omg thats so true' or 'lol you got talent'. I wonder if they really think the blogger is going to fall in love with them over their comments.

4. Overly fancy
Blogs that aren't worth the loading time to read. Some of the widgets are cool, but to have every widget known to blog is a bit excessive.

5. Pink
Pink blogs suck.

6. Word Verification
A waste of time, I usually have to type the code again cos the first time doesn't register.

7. Egocentric
Bloggers who think they are god's gift to blogging and know better than you.

8. Lol Commentors
People who comment for the sake of it, never offering anything constructive or creative. These guys are harmless though, at least they have no hidden agenda.

9. Identity theft
People who act like they are someone else. I'm not sure why they do this, maybe they think its funny. It doesn't happen too often though. Seems to mostly affect Haamish.

10. People who take themselves too seriously
People who think their problems are the worst the world has ever faced or everything is about them. E.g. my cat ran away, i think it hates me.

Till next time in Waseem world

Fajr Namaaz

2008-05-27T09:47:00.004+02:00

This is an adaptation of a Cat Stevens song, if he had to make the lyrics more Islam-friendly. Listening to Matthew and Son, it tells an all too familiar tale to the working class people. It could easily be Mohammed and Son or Moonsamy and Son. Check MJ's blog for more Cat Stevens adaptations.

Adapted from Matthew and Son

Get up mate, you can't be late
for Fajr Namaaz, it can't wait.

Watch them run down to saff one
And the five-thirty Azaan for Fajr Namaaz.

Chorus:
Fajr Namaaz, the mosque's never full, there's no-one ever new.
The Surahs in your head, you take them to bed, and the blessings with you.
And there'll be blessing all day, all day, all day!

There's a five minute break and that's all you take,
for your Sunnah, or it will be too late.

Chorus:
Fajr Namaaz, the mosque's never full, there's no-one ever new.
The Surahs in your head, you take them to bed, and the blessings with you.
And there'll be blessing all day, all day, all day!

There's people who haven't read in fifty years
No one worries about it cos nobody cares
Even though they're pretty low and their Qaza's in arrears

Fajr Namaaz, Fajr Namaaz, Fajr Namaaz, Fajr Namaaz,
And there'll be blessing all day, all day, all day!

Till next time in Waseem world

MJ: Say Hello to my little friend

2008-05-23T11:55:00.003+02:00

Original Comic

Till next time in Waseem world

No hair, No hair

2008-05-19T11:39:00.004+02:00

Adapted from Jordin Spark's No Air

Tell me how I'm supposed to look with no hair

If I should dye before I wake
It's 'cause it takes my gray away
Losing you is like living in a world with no hair
Oh

I'm here all shorn, didn't wanna shave
My head won't move, it's incomplete
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my hair revolves around you
It's so hard for me to braid

[Chorus:]
Tell me how I'm supposed to braid with no hair
Can't live, can't braid with no hair
I'm bald when you don't answer my call
It's no hair, no hair
Got me out here with my forehead so steep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't braid
It's no hair, no hair

No hair, hair
No hair, hair
No hair, hair
No hair, hair

I clipped, I trimmed, I permed, I put in a crew
Just a little off the top to please you
My hair just keeps falling off for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my hair, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't have hair

But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my hair revolves around you
It's so hard for me to braid
[Chorus]

No hair, hair
No hair, hair
No hair, hair
No hair, hair
So Bald
It's no hair, no hair

Dedicated to new bald look Hamish (OH)

Till next time in Waseem world

Indian Juns and the Temple of Dom

2008-05-12T11:20:00.010+02:00

Renowned Media lecturer, Indian Juns (AKA Indy), Waseem (AKA The Great one) and the aptly named Short Round (AKA OH) had just returned from the famous King of the Plate. Waseem had emerged victorious, which still ground OH's gears.

OH: I'm very short, you cheat very big.
Waseem: You know how I know you're gay, you moan all the time.
Indy: Guys, why can't we all just get along? OH, all your moaning is making me hungry. Who is up for some KFC?
Waseem: We just finished a full 3 course meal, don't you think about anything else besides food?
Indy: No ... Wait there is one thing ... Boobs.
Waseem: Ok, let's go, it's not like I have something else to do.
OH: I didn't get my rugby player-like physique from watching what I eat, I'm in.

They piled into Indy's Tata and decided to satiate their hunger with the closest halaal KFC, which happened to be at Gateway Shopping Centre. Little did Indy and his companions know, that the Tata was low on fuel and Indy, who is known for taking bush routes and parking in bush places, had decided to take the 'scenic' route through Phoenix. Halfway through the Indian township, the Tata slows to a stop. They check the fuel gage to realise what had happened. The got out to find a petrol station but were instantly swarmed by locals exclaiming 'Warrapen yer ekse'. The trio couldn't seem to understand what language was being spoken, until one man walked forward.

Well-spoken Phoenix Native: I should say you look rather lost, but then I can't imagine where in the world the three of you would look at home.
Indy: My Tata has run out of gas, I was wondering if one of you could help? My name is Indian Juns.
Well-spoken Phoenix Native: Ah, the famous Master Juns (Not doctor, he only has his masters.), perhaps you should speak to our Unit elder, Mr. Moodley, maybe he can help and perhaps you can serve us as well.

Well spoken native led them to Mr. Moodley who lived in a semi-detached house in the heart of the unit. Like many of the older natives, Mr. Moodley had a thick moustache and wore a short-sleeved check shirt. Mr. Moodley seemed to expect them.

Mr. Moodley: Siva informed us of your arrival and that you would be brought here. Praise be to Siva.
Indy: We weren't brought here, my Tata ran out of gas.
Waseem (gesturing with his hands): Vrroom Vrroom, No no.
Mr. Moodley (laughing): No. No. We asked Siva to help us find the burger. It was Siva who brought you to me, so you will go to Gateway KFC to find Zinger and bring back to us. Bring back to us. Bring back to us.
Indy: But my Tata is petrol-less, how will we get there?
Mr. Moodley: Siva will show you the way. Beware there is a great domness at Gateway. The dom starts at Gateway. Then like a pirated Leon Schuster movie, it moves domness over all Phoenix.
OH: Can we get some food? I very hungry.
Mr. Moodley: Siva will provide for you. [Gestures to well-spoken native] Siva, take them to Govenders house of curries.

Siva led them next door to famous Govender's House of Curries which had won the hottest bunny competition. He sat them on the floor around a table, a few other people were also sitting around there and a few pots were already on the table.

Native (opening pot): Ah, sheep head surprise!
Indy (always one to experiment, and instantly gorging a mouthful): What's the surprise?
Native (grinning): It is very, very thitha (spicy) .
Indy (downing a nearby glass of Coke-like liquid): Coke! Coke! Coke!
Native: That's not Coke, it's Gee Whiz.
Indy: Eurgh!
OH: What's in this pot?
Native (dishing out a huge helping): Stewed Kidneys and Livers. (To Waseem) You're not eating?
Waseem (turning green): No thanks, I had giblets for lunch.

Another huge pot is brought before them.

Native: Ah, main course! Prawns!

Waseem and Indy faint.

OH: Ha Ha. Very funny. Very funny.

When Waseem and Indy came to, they found themselves by Indy's Tata, which had been totally pimped, to resemble a Phoenix taxi. It was neon green, with a 50 cents graphic on the side, and the back had a bumper sticker which said 'Say Tata to my Tata!'

Indy: Um OK, did you manage to fill it up with petrol?
Siva: No, unfortunately we didn't have enough money for that.

Suddenly, a tow truck appears and tows away the Tata.

Waseem: Indy, they are taking our ride.
Indy: We walk from here.

So they traversed the Phoenix Highway, crossing many roads, which entailed a lot of right, left and right agains. They finally reached Gateway and the three of them were out of breath.

OH: Indy, why are we doing all this? What is it all for?
Indy: Zinger and Coke, OH. Zinger and Coke.

They reach KFC, only to find it deserted. Where is everyone, they wondered. Then they hear singing coming from the back, and in typical horror movie style, go to investigate. They stumble upon a horrific site. Grown men with Chicky masks playing a guitar and singing to live chickens. The infamous Chicky cult.

Chicky mask wearing manager (singing): The Goddess of Destruction Kali stopped by to celebrate Diwali.
OH (loudly): It's not Diwali!
Chicky manager: Silence! I keel you!
Indy: Is this even halaal?
Chicky manager: Ha, we are SANHA certified, nothing can stop us now.
Indy: In that case, can I have 4 Zingers and Cokes?
Chicky Manager: Do you want a meal? Regular or upsized?
Indy: Whatever man, just give me 4 Zingers and 4 Cokes.

Chicky manager gave them their order and the trio set back to Mr. Moodley's house, so that they may give him his Zinger and Indy could get his Tata back. As they walked back, the unique scent of KFC battled with their self-control. They arrived to find Siva and Mr. Moodley waiting for them.

Mr. Moodley: Siva saw you coming back to us, praise be to Siva. (Noticing their salivating) Now you see the power of the Zinger you bring back.
Indy: Yes. I understand its power now. Let us eat now and enjoy the fruits of our adventure.
Indy (opening box): Something feels wrong ... Wait ... This is not a Zinger ... Its a Tower with no garnish ... They got our order wrong ... Nooooo!!!

*Big ups to Hamza for the poster, you are the Quentin Blake to my Roald Dahl.Dedicated to MJ AKA Indy and Hamish AKA OH. Special thanks to Q for lending me a few ideas. This is of course an adaptation of the classic adventure movie Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Shout out to my homie imdb for the movie quotes.*

Till next time in Waseem world

Signs you are watching a soapie

2008-05-08T10:31:00.005+02:00

You know you are watching a soapie when:

The scene ends and the characters soapie stare each other until picture fades out
The soapie stare is one of the most annoying aspect of soaps. The characters look at each other as if they let one go and wondering if anyone can get the smell. In the Indian serials, they replace this with the flash zoom, which is basically a cymbal crash and zoom on every person's (even unassuming non-integral characters) face in that room.

No one respects familial boundaries
I was subjected to alot of soapies a while back due to my sister hogging the TV and I had nothing better to do. So since the last time I watched Bold & Beautiful, Brooke, lead female protagonist, had slept with/married Ridge, his brother, their father, Ridge's long lost brother and her son-in-law. On another disgusting note, Ridge also fell for a girl he used to believe was his daughter. Also if people have to go for DNA tests to find out who is their father, you know you're watching a soap. And yes, familial is a word.

You miss an entire week but the characters are still in the same scene
One of the worst soaps I have ever seen is Passions which for some reason my mother seems to love. I sometimes wonder which is worse, Passions or those Indian serials she loves on DSTV. Anyway this one engagement party (or something like that) scene in Passions lasted one whole month. Soapies have this mentality of why show today what you can save for tomorrow. For this reason I would have to consider Dragonball Z as a soap cos it took 100 episodes to get to a 2 episode fight.

No-one dies they are just re-cast
I notice that I am showing a fair knowledge of soaps in this post, which might be perceived as 'gay', but I assure you that I never watched a soap on my own volition. The person who has to win the award for coming back from the dead most times has to be Stefano from Days of our Lives, that guy has died and come back so many times, the newspapers probably have to ask his family if they sure when they put up an obituary. I'm waiting for next time they want to bring Stefano back, maybe they will wish him back with the Dragonballs.

If people do die, they have an evil twin
Or maybe they don't die and have twins who just try to mess with everyone.

'Oh, Roger, how could you sleep with my sister, Elaine?' *sobs*

[Dramatic Pause]
*Soapie Stare*
Scene fades out.

Next Day

'Oh, Roger, how could you sleep with my sister, Elaine?' *sobs*

'I swear it wasn't me [dramatic pause] it must have been [dramatic pause] my evil twin brother [dramatic pause] Peter'

*Soapie Stare*
Scene fades out.

Till next time in Waseem world.

Ella Ella eh eh eh

2008-04-19T10:33:00.006+02:00

Adapted from Rihanna's Umbrella

He used to be president
Now he is just a resident
Was with Graca in the magazine
Talking about his third wedding
He is probably in the dark
Because of load shedding
But Eskom doesn't make him wail
Because he used to be in jail
Because ...

We used to have apartheid
And he was a leader of the MK
Stuck on an island for 27 years
where he had to face his fears
Now that we have democracy
And we are a people that are free
We have to thank Nelson Mandela
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Nelson Mandela
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Nelson Mandela
(Ella ella eh eh eh)

This was supposed to be a parody
But its not really funny
Cos you can't really make fun of Nelson Mandela
So many great things he has done
and he is such a great fella
Because...

We used to have apartheid
And he was a leader of the MK
Stuck on an island for 27 years
where he had to face his fears
Now that we have democracy
And we are a people that are free
We have to thank Nelson Mandela
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Nelson Mandela
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Nelson Mandela
(Ella ella eh eh eh)

Till next time in Waseem World

What if ...

2008-04-09T10:18:00.004+02:00

What if Samuel L. Jackson did the Cremora commercial:
(Sam. L. rummages through refrigerator)
Sam. L (yells): There is no muthafuckin' Cremora in the muthafuckin' fridge.
Background Lady: Nigga, it not inside, it on top.
Sam. L: Bitch, why you be moving my Cremora?

What if Kim Jong Il played William Wallace (Braveheart):
Kim J: Evely man dies, not evely man rives.

Kim J: They may take our rand, but they will never take our FLEEDOM!!

What if women ruled the world:
USA: Ooh, I hate that China. She went and signed a treaty with North Korea behind my back. She knows North Korea didn't return my perfume and North Korea likes my man Japan. I'm gonna tell all my home girls to boycott China.
China (Calls US): What's the plobrem gir, whats up with the boycotting?
USA: Oh you know what you did, don't play all dumb with me.
China: Bling it on bitch!

What if countries were South Park Characters:
Sudan: Oh my god! They denied Kenya humanitarian aid. Those bastards!

USA: Screw you Iraq, I'm going home.

Iraq: I dont have weapons of mass destruction, I'm just big-boned

What if Taxi Driver was shot in Chatsworth:
Travisan Bicklesamy: Ekse you chuning with me? El bra you know who you chuning with? You must be chuning with me, cos I'm aceball here. Hold me back, hold me back.

Personnel Officer: Wanna work uptown nights? Unit 9? Shallcross?
Travisan Bicklesamy: I'll work anytime, anywhere, ekse.
Personnel Officer: Will you work on Christmas?
Travisan Bicklesamy: Anytime, anywhere ekse, I'm porridge.

What if real life was a Bollywood movie:
Boy: I like you
Girl: I hate you
*Sing song*
Boy: I love you
Girl: I love you too

Boy: The girl I love, loves someone else
*Rain falls to mask tears*
Girl: It's ok, he died in some tragic accident, let's get together
*Sings song*
Boy: I love you
Girl: I love you too

Till next time in Waseem world

Now time is ... running out

2008-04-04T10:17:00.005+02:00

Why did I start blogging? That was the question I asked myself when I decided to write a post on my bloggerversary. The moment for the bloggerversary post has passed though. The actual date for my first post was 22nd March 2007. I can't really remember the real reason for me starting blogging, but I am so glad I did. The people I have met through my blog alone makes my blog worth its hit rate in gold.

Anyway I was having this conversation with Hamza, about how I wish I could go back in time and tell Past Waseem to stop getting to know a certain person. The problem with that is the repercussions (assuming it was possible). Like what if I never started blogging and never discovered my inner adrenaline junkie?

So the question is if you could go back in time,bearing in mind the possible repercussions, would you? I think I would. I would go back to before I went to tech, and tell myself to go to university and to do a cooler course, maybe marketing or something to do with writing or maybe even psychology.

Nooj said IT is a stepping stone. The problem is the next step would be a leap of faith I'm not brave enough to take yet.

Till next time in Waseem world.

I have inside me blood of King

2008-03-26T13:02:00.002+02:00

Do you think it's ambitious to want to rule the world? My childhood was filled of movies of people, mostly villians, trying to take over the world.

Pinky: Gee Brain, what are we doing tonight?
Brain: Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!

So, considering that level of ambition, it is pretty amazing that I chose IT. I am often asked that question (and I ask myself sometimes too) 'Why did I do IT?'. I don't have any answer, except that it seemed like the right decision at the time. It wasn't. I hate IT.

This post changed from what I thought it was going to be. It was supposed to be about the King of the Plate(from my perspective) and my first bloggerversary (Can I make claim to this word?). So let's get back on track.

Not many expected me to survive King of the Plate, me included. I appreciated the concern and the wonder. Everyone knew I would kill at dessert, but the question was would I ever reach dessert.

The first course was the one I feared, I don't like bony meat and I don't like spicy food. MJ conceded to us having BBQ wings, while he bravely ordered spicy. MJ polished off his wings with ease, while Haamish had some issues with his tomato. You would think being the renowned veggie lover that he is (potato), that he would like them more. I have to admit struggling and having to go over a few wings again.

The main course was a real surprise in terms of food quality. Spur has always been one of my favorite food places, especially cos of their steak. It was a real letdown this time, and combined with onion rings made it another tough round. I hated those damn onion rings, and I will never eat another onion ring in my life, I swear it. Haamish had this hunger buster bun thing, which I didn't remember being an option, but I let it slide (He had some problems with vegetables again). He won the round after MJ took a break in between to do I can't remember what. Despite the fatty steak and horrible horrible onion rings , I managed to finish second in that round.

The dessert course took long to arrive, there was a bit of an intermission due to that. We all three ordered chocolate marshmallow pies. Sounds delicious, to be honest, it isn't really. I wish they let me choose, I would have chose malva pudding and they would have been a little happier. I don't know much about these claims of Dew eating some of the dessert, and I didn't compare the amounts eaten. In the end, I finished the dessert easily (even the cherry), and I probably could have had some malva. The look on Haamishs face was priceless, I hope it's in the video and Haamish doesn't edit it out. MJ took his time to finish, and by virtue dessert was the speed round, I was declared winner.

People may ask how has being King of the Plate changed your life. I think it is the respect of my peers, that's the biggest thing. Other people might say I didn't really win, well to those people I say ... I did. Maybe we all won something that night. Haamish won the experience of not being in East London. MJ won at Pro Evo. So there are no losers.

I was gonna do my Bloggerversary post here but I think this post long enough so...

Till next time in Waseem world

I know why they call them Memes

2008-03-25T09:44:00.004+02:00

MJs meme thing, I will answer it as the newly crowned King of the Plate (where I can). Detailed post to follow.

Hair Color: Dark Brown, but it's graying now

Eye Color: Dark brown

Height: 1.75m

Profession: King of the plate

Religious Views: For you is your religion, and for me is my religion.

My Favorites
Favorite Color: Red, but my affection with that color seems to be wavering, don't ask me why, I don't have an answer.

Favorite Car: Jaguar XJ220, cos of NFS2

Favorite Hobby: Dessert and sleeping, when I'm not sleeping I'm defeating people with dessert eating skills

Favorite Song/Singer: Puddle of Mudd - Blurry / Pete Loeffler from Chevelle

Favorite Book/Author: Redemption of Althalus / Roald Dahl

Favorite School Subject: I didn't like school subjects, but I guess History

Favorite Vacation Destination: That I have been to ... Drakensburg I guess. That I want to go to ... Greece

Favorite Food: Spurs Malva Pudding

Favorite Restaurant: Spur

Favorite Animal: Im not into animals, a wolf I guess

Favorite Store: I've always enjoyed going to CNA

Favorite Celebrity : I don't like celebs, I just watch them at whatever, doesn't go beyond that

Favorite Childhood Friend: Hamza, he is my cousin, if that doesn't count, no idea why it wouldn't, then Akbar.

Favorite Childhood Memory: I have alot, it is a tie between the Najeeba poking and days of the Swearing Camp

Favorite Baby Name: You mean like my baby, or people used to call me as a baby? This is a dumb question

Favorite Facebook Application : The only thing i like on facebook is Inbox(1), i got some good Facebook friends too, but I don't like apps.

Coke or Pepsi : Coke

Beer or Wine: I don't drink

Coffee or Tea: Tea, I'm an addict

Apple Juice or O.J.: Tropica OJ, I don't like Liqui-fruit

Facebook or MySpace: MySpace is crap, Facebook less so.

Summer or Winter: Winter, I like the cold

Boxers or Briefs: Boxers

Rain or Shine : rain, light drizzle, or the

Chips or Popcorn: I prefer fried chips or Pringles

Salty or Sweet: Sweet

Movie or Play: movie, if play was good they should make it a movie

Breakfast or Dinner: dinner, I don't eat breakfast

Forgiveness or Revenge: forgiveness

House or Apartment: house

Do You?

Have Any Children: Nope

Smoke: Used to, been clean for like 7 months

Belong To Any Organizations: Nope, unless you include SA bloggers or something, I don't

Like To Cook: Never really tried, would like to, but I would rather try baking.

play an Instrument: No, but if I could I would play a piano

Sing: To myself

Dance: Not at all, I hate it

Speak Multiple Languages: 3ish with varying levels of proficiency, I wish I knew Arabic though

Ice Skate: I want to, stuff is in the works, look out for a future blog

Swim: um, I cant swim, I just pretend.

Paint: Like houses then no, like portraits then still no. I fingerpainted in preschool

Write: So far only in a blog

Ski: haven't tried, would love to

Juggle: I'm a one woman man, but I think I could cos I have good memory. Oh you mean like throwing shit in the air, no. I can do the yoyo thing though. Tops are tough

Have You Ever
Stolen Anything: Yes, I shoplifted in my bad pre-adolescent years. Comic books and trading cards

Been Drunk Before Noon: no

Had Sex In A Public Place: nope

Got Caught Telling A Lie: Who hasn't? But I'm a pretty good liar though

Got A Speeding Ticket: Yes, only once

Been Arrested: Nope, went to a prison though, and someone tried to scare us, I can't remember who

Littered: Sure

Fantasized About A Co-Worker: Not any of my current co-workers

Cheated On A Test: Yes, no major exams though

Cheated In A Relationship: Nope

Failed A Class: Yes, TD in Std 6, I hated that year

Screened Your Phone Calls: No, who does this?

Eaten Food Off The Floor: only if its nice, haven't you heard of the 5 second rule?

Stuck Gum Under A Desk: Maybe twice

Wished You Were Someone Else: Not seriously, wished I wasn't around too many times

Cried During A Movie: I don't cry, last was like Std 6

Had A One Night Stand: No

Other
Describe Yourself In One Word: Prosaic (Thats a good word)

Biggest Fear: I have a bigger fear but I rather not say here, but Ill just say ending up alone is pretty high up there.

Biggest Regret: Being so indecisive when it came to choosing a career path

Your Proudest Accomplishment: King of the plate

#1 Priority In Your Life: making someone happy

Dream Job: Writer/Director of a good movie

Causes You Believe In: I'm not very political. I believe in stuff but I dont thrust my views on others.

Special Talents: King of the plate

Where Are You Right Now: My office at work

Where Would You Rather Be: Not here

Famous Person You Want To Meet: Gandhi or Ben Kingsley acting like Gandhi

Place To Visit Before You Die: Petra and Hajj

Song Played At Your Funeral: Keane - He used to be a lovely boy

Sour or sweet candy? Sweet

beach or mountain?Mountain, especially if I get to see snow and there's a waterfall

Describe your perfect Sunday morning? It hasn't happened yet, but pancakes feature

If you have friends coming for supper what would you cook? I would buy them KFC or Debonairs

What makes you laugh? MJ, Joe and Q make me laugh. They are so much more awesome than their blogs

If you won the lottery, how would you spend your millions?Buy an Island

Do you believe that the cup is half empty or half full? I dunno, but I ahte when I'm drinking tea and I go to sip and find its already finished

Are you an outdoor or an indoor person? Indoor

If you had only six months to live, what would you do first? Play the sympathy card.

What 3 words would your best friend use to describe you? He is ok

Where do you see yourself in five years? This thing is becoming depressing now, I dunno.

Do you have any tattoos, and if so what and where? No

When do you plan on getting married? I dont wanna answer this question

Would you rather be hot or cold? Cold, I hate the heat

Would you rather lose an arm or a leg? Lose a leg, tough though

Do you support Paris?I dont care about celebrities

Juice and crackers or milk and cookies? Tea and cake

Favorite fruit? Banana, I'm not much a fruit person

What do you do on Fridays? Work

This was boring and irritating, this is the last time I do one of these.

Till next time in Waseem world